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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy and good morning. Being exhausted must be in the stars atm. I am so tired it is ridiculous. I go to bed at 8.30 and am awake at 7 then have a cat nap during the day .... I presume it is the medication and just being old!!!!

So sorry for your mum going through her friend's death. My mum always says funerals and wakes are always about the people they have left behind not about the person who has died. I disagree I think it is half/half. If the friend has no one except a niece in another state well it is not surprising that there is no wake or formal celebration. What his friends are doing is really nice though and perfect for the situation.

I have already decided upon what I want as a funeral. I want a Tibetan sky burial 🙂 or an Indian sky burial (even better). No flowers instead donation to my favourite charities. Done body returned to the earth and the spirit to go into the heavens.

I hope you have a lovely day today with your friend. Lots of love the pea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending warm wishes and hopes that you'll feel better on waking again @Mazarita. Wonderful to hear you are able to give your Mum such strong support at this time.

Good morning all here.

Spending part of the day chopping fruit with M for her famous christmas pudding.

And packing to go to the farm early tomorrow. Looking forward to the music gig I'm going to tonight. Mojo Juju who I absolutely loved last time I saw them a few years ago.

My bread I made yesterday is a hit! Really happy it turned out well, just need to tweak the cooking time/temp a little and it should be good to go for Christmas. Pumpkin bread with linseed, sesame, sunflower seeds in it and pepitas and poppy seeds on top. Hadn't done anything with yeast for decades so I'm really quite chuffed!

Hope today is going well for everyone so far.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So pleased your bread turned out well @eth - it sounds amazing

I hope you really enjoy the music gig tonight. I did listen to some of the music and liked it myself so it should be a good night.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 how's your day so far? Any plans?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Working today @eth so will need to get up and moving soon. Snuggled on the couch with Toby at the moment - he is keeping me warm as it is quite cool here today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope work goes well @Zoe7 and that your boss doesn't nitpick your work again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I got sent Monday's notes last night - I started reading them and the stopped - got bored with it all @eth lol We have the meeting with the HR person after school today - will find out what next week will look like t that meeting - I honestly don't know what to expect today - possibly more of the boring notes from the Principal - most of which I am taking with a grain of salt this morning otherwise it will be become too overwhelming. I do feel it really is too much

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Does she do the same to all her staff @Zoe7? Hope the meeting goes well for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No she doesn't @eth She does do regular observations with the other teachers but doesn't write the copious amounts she does for me (that is what she has said anyway) - I just have to put up with it for now and cope as best I can. The HR person rang yesterday to check in with me which seems strange as we are meeting today - I just need to get through today and get home to my babies. I really don't feel like work today but hoping once I get there I will feel better. I better go and get ready now. I hope tonight is awesome and your weekend away is relaxing.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Luck with nitpicking principal. @Zoe7 I hope she is balanced and sees your good points.

@eth Thanks for posting about Mojo Juju. She has great presence and I love the dancers on the clips and I learned a new word "otherised". Enjoy.

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