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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I felt quite comfortable in the kind of crowd it was and this felt like a breakthrough for me.-- yes @eth the night and the peopledo make a difference xx

Mr shaz does not like crowds , so we had a party to go to and I said we will go home when you are ready

first time ever -- i had to smile -- Mr shaz said " i am ready to go now " , ammm ok it was 11-30 pm == could not beleive it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a breakthrough for you and Mr Shaz too @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear Not really into the planning just yet - might be a night time thing for me to keep busy tongiht. I love Cat as much as Toby but Toby is definitely my soul pet - I honestly didn't think I would ever have a dog until the little fluffball came along and he has been so good for me.

@eth I am pleased that you got some sleep but parties going that late are more than annoying Goodluck with your new teeth 😀

@Shaz51 Great news with Mr. both lasting that long and voicing that he was ready to go

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 they'll take a little getting used to but they're much better than the old ones. And whiter too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You will be able to smile with confidence @eth and that is always a good thing

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Your Toby is very cute @Zoe7. My little people have been at me for a dog a bit more than before as we have been spending some time with a puppy. Very tempted but also hesitant because of the extra work plus the potential for the cats to get their (snobby) noses out of joint 😏

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I did wonder how Cat would cope with having a dog in the house too @CheerBear Toby has certainly taken over the house but Cat puts him in his place often too. Dogs do tend to take over with all the attention they need so I can understand you not wanting to put your cats' noises out of joint - I suppose it also depends on what type of dog you get and how you introduce it to the cats. To begin with Toby wasn't allowed on the bed and Cat would still sleep there - now she spends most of her time on her chair or in her room but will often visit me in the morning on the bed once Toby has gotten off.

A dog would be good for the kids but I fully appreciate you not wanting to put the cats out in any way too.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

evening @Mazarita @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Zoe7 @eth @utopia @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Sophia1 @PeppiPatty and everyone passing through



thanks for understanding @Mazarita its a hard place to be in. Just as i thought my medications were right it again proves me wrong. i see the gp in another few days so hopefully she will be able to increase or add in.
im glad to hear your heart in in good shape! dont worry im very unfit for my age too. its something we can both work on though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

the side effects like putting on weight is hard @outlander like @Bunniekins knows

it is hard even if the meds are helping but it is the same with all meds @Mazarita, @Zoe7, @CheerBear, @eth, there are side effects with all of them

@eth, how did you go

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There are side effects with most meds @Shaz51 - sometimes they affect some more than others - it does depend on the individual. I have certainly had my share of side effects and although the meds I am on now have more minor side effects it took my body some time to get used to them also. We did change one med that had the side effect of weight gain but it was also leaving me too tired to function - think the balance of meds is so much better now.

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