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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping the sky gives you some peace this morning also @Mazarita.

The difficult work has definitely been done with my NDIS journey. This part is about the future rather than relating to all of the ugly past stuff. It feels much more recovery focused which is much easier to think about than all the things that are 'wrong' with me. I'm looking forward to the NDIS doing something helpful for me as so far it has only done the opposite.

So great to be able to cancel an appointment online. I can feel quite anxious calling to cancel things, to the point where I often do them just so I don't have to cancel them! Free day sounds great today. I really hope however you spend it, it has some/many good feelings for you.

I'm heading out to get ready for the morning. Sending you lots more love as I go ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear that the journey with the NDIS is taking a more positive hue now, @CheerBear. Looking forward to reading how it becomes more and more helpful as time goes by, as it has now for @eth, in the wake of that terrible application process.

No rosy sunrise here today, lovely to share yours though. Thanks for being here this morning. Have a good one!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow @Mazarita .....

Just sneaking in here with some ❤️❤️ for you and @CheerBear with best wishes for a gentle recovery day ..... and so hope your video come through .....

Thank you for your lovely supportive post in the wake of such a trauma-revisited day ...... I hope it has healed something that can now be put down and left behind in the dust of your life-travels.

Hugs to you both .....

Gotta get showered (overdue) and skates on .....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You had a very difficult day @Mazarita and it always feels worse when you reach out and those feelings are not validated. I am so pleased you had your friend to bounce this all off and find that validation you needed. It is so difficukt when those closest to us cannot listen and /or accept what we are telling them - but that is not your issue - that is so often theirs - and more often thn not that they hurt for us but have no idea how to respond ...and that often makes us feel worse for opening up. It is great however that you both talked it through a little more and you understand the initil reaction ...that still doesn't make it ok but a little easier to take.

Feeling for you with this trigger and the subsequent feelings - it is so disconcerting when it happens out of the blue like that. So glad you have someone you can talk to as that is not always the cse with many of us here.

Sending you love and hugs @Mazarita and hoping today is better for you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Darling Mazzy I am so sorry to hear of what happened yesterday. So long ago and yet it is like it has just happened..... I wish the pea could have been there with you holding your hand in the unit while you were alone. It is not good to be alone like that when you are in so much grief.

My bunny jumps onto my bed and runs around putting his nose up to my face for kisses. When I wake up he 'bings' (which is bunny bounces) all over the room. Then I go into the kitchen and he gets very excited and I give him some sultanas which he loves and pats. Then some more treats and them some of his pellets. He is a very spoilt bunny who rules the house and so he should as he is adorable and we all love him :).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending all my love and hugs @Mazarita for what you experienced yesterday and what happened out in the desert. Yet again I share many aspects of what you described and also the delayed reaction when it hits the surface after so many years. Sorry to hear C was not able to meet your needs while it was happening but good to hear he went out when you asked him to and that you were able to talk about it later and reconcile enough to have that long hug. I really feel for you and hope taking a self day today is helpful.

@CheerBear It's good to hear your planning meeting is happening so soon. Crossing everything in the hope it goes well for you. Hoping you saw the list of questions they ask on my NDIS thread. There are booklets you can download and fill out beforehand to prepare for the meeting which I also referenced on that thread. I wish I could tell you the pages. I'll have a look for them when I've posted this. EDIT : I see now that you already saw them.

Pages 56 and 57 on 'Anyone Started with the NDIS?' for anyone interested.

Hi to anyone else around this morning @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @Dadcaringalone @utopia @Former-Member. Hope today is gentle for all xx

There's a lot I could say about first nations rights and realities in response to earlier discussions. Lets just say I've had some amazing learning experiences in aboriginal communities, both happy and hard ... and I'm an ally in their journey. I believe we need a treaty NOW, long overdue, and that sovereignty must be recognized. I'm no longer a front-line activist however, due to a big lesson in the reality that it is their business to assert for and create a fair world of social justice and true history and language preservation and cultural expression - they want to speak for themselves, not be spoken for by the likes of me. The song by Kev Carmody called White Borgoise Woman summed up my realization (many years later). Having said all that, free discussion and support of all the aspects I mention is tantamount - it's how allies are educated and able to work out the right way of supporting. I'm ranting - I'll stop now.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

As painful as yesterday was, I'm glad you were able to really cry about your experience. Although crying doesn't fix the situation, I believe it's a big help in releasing your emotions.

Sending you a gentle hug today. ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋 again everyone

@Mazarita hoping you're going OK as the morning gets on ❤

Thanks @eth. I feel pretty overwhelmed and worried about trying to get funding for support that could help me, but I am glad it has come around to this stage now. I found the list again, thanks. I have been doing NDIS stuff since March and have lots of info, booklets, handouts etc. Thanks again for all the info you've shared around.

@Sophia1 I wanted to reply to a post you made yesterday (which feels like forever ago now) that was so lovely and encouraging, thank you. You're incredibly kind and understanding even when you are having a hard time yourself. Person should be off to rehab soon which I think will help. I'll keep trying to work on encouraging them both to engage with supports. Big hugs for your tough and unsettled nights. Can definitely relate.

❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @CheerBear@eth@Mazarita

cannot remember too far back on the thread...

apologies if I have missed you...

I want to thank you all for your ongoing support..

I have pdoc appointment this morning thank goodness as I am an emotional mess..

speak again

Sophia💜💛💚

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Sophia1 I really hope today's appointment goes well for you and helps you feel better xx

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