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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow @Mazarita thata alot of videos to watch but sounds pretty cool too. Maybe they will keep asking you to be a judge since it's something you enjoy....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth 💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth. Great to meet up with you in real time this morning. How was your yesterday, and how are you this morning?

@outlander, there will be more videos coming in to watch, as the deadline is not until early December. Yes, it is a lot to watch, but most are quite short. I've got through the viewing of submissions to date in two long sessions over the past week. C was out on both occasions, which helped me concentrate and feel relaxed and receptive while watching them. As much as I love it when he is at home, this flat is so small that it can be hard to concentrate on anything I'm doing on the computer that requires special focus. They will change judges every year. I'm just so honoured that they invited me to do it this year, which is the first time they have run the competition.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to hear you had a good day yesterday @Mazarita. I can imagine getting a little lost warching the videos for the competition you're judging. Sounds like a really cool thing to be part of.

Thank you for your understanding and support. It's been a full on time but it isn't forever and I have to keep reminding myself of that when I am caught up in it all.

@outlander you're sounding really organised already. It's great to hear. I'd make soup and bring it to you if I could 😘

I'll be able to share some of my project. I have a pic of two squares I'll upload to the craft thread later if you'd like to see. And yes- waaaaaay too many ideas (not a bad thing!). Looking forward to seeing your shares when you get to them.

Morning @eth. Nice to see you also. Hitting post and will see whether you've posted how you're going. Hope it's well/well enough ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, great that you have been reminding yourself about this time not being forever. Hugs for it all and hoping things improve as quickly as possible from here.

I don't feel lost in the video viewing, as I've been very organised with a spreadsheet and giving each video a score out of 100 as I've been watching it. That's not for anyone else's eyes but my own, but it helps me remember. I'm planning to watch the top-scored ones again. There's quite a number of them that I've given 80 or above and I want to give very careful consideration to how I decide the winner.

@outlander, really good reading about the progress with your dental surgery. So glad it will be happening under anaesthetic. That is a lot of teeth to have taken out at once. You will need to be kind and gentle on yourself afterwards. Glad you have the time to organise things with your pop for while you are away and the recovery period afterwards. I kind of wish it was coming up sooner for you, as you are in such pain and suffering fever from it. But it is good that there is a bit of lead up time to get prepared.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats great @Mazarita its good to hear your enjoying it and you've still got time left. I very much get the concentration thing. I havent been able to study the past few days due to my mind being elsewhere or like you i need my space to think as pop likes to hover or i just start and im needed so i like to do it in the quiet hrs or when hes out too.

Do you have many plans today?


@CheerBear your so sweet, i would take you up on that offer.
Umm that was a silly thing to say now wasnt it 'if youd like to see' umm that is a big YES and always will be a yes. 😉 😊

Lol no not always a bad thing but it kinda sucks only having 2 hands when youve got so many ideas to try out. I want to try out a bigger hook and thicker yarn though as im still on 8ply and the scarves and beanies for adults would probably benefit abit more from that sort instead

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just caught up on posts @Mazarita @CheerBear @outlander

Great to hear you've made so much progress with the video judging work Maz. Hope you are finding some feel-good gems among them all.

CheerBear Good on you for pushing for some other supports for your person in hospital and well one. Sorry to hear of your panicked wake up, and sharing your room so that the other person was aware of what happened. But it could be a good thing in a way as Maz said, for them to realise that you have your own stuff to deal with on top of everything else. Glad to hear you're remembering that 'this too shall pass'.

Outlander sorry to hear you have to have so many teeth out at once. Sounds like you are making some good plans for all the details surrounding having it done. Maybe freeze some soups for yourself, or stock up on microwavable ones, and similar for Pop's meals. Hope they also gave you some good pain relievers to get you through til you have it done.

My day yesterday was a quiet morning followed by 3 hours with a support worker. Went to the drop-in centre gym and had an induction. I like the rowing machine best as I rowed a lot in my teens. Will possibly go there most weeks. Then I picked up a few top-up groceries and we came home and spent some time ordering 'juice' for my vape and then checking out bus routes and times to get to my psychologist. I'll have a practice run on that with my support worker on Wednesday. So - making small steps toward my goals of increased health and wellbeing and independence with transport. No plans yet for today but it might be a day of garden jobs with bro and sil.

Had a deep talk with bro last night which I found difficult and cried a couple of times. About anxiety and emotional rationality. too much to write about just now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Apparently wisdom tooth extraction is considered major dental surgury which i didn't realise but it makes sense esp now shes described the process of it including scraping away some jaw bone to get the top 2 out as they havent erupted as yet. It was only suppose to be 5 but looking at the xrays they want to take the 6th one out as its been damaged from the wisdom tooth and will just cause problems later.
I probably wouldve gotten in earlier but their anaethetist works only part time ( local they do without them) and they also take a break between dec and January for a few weeks.
the more major works are either done there or they will refferr me to the hospital nearby for it so lots to talk about come the next appt.
My fever broke 3 days ago thankfully but was told to expect more between now and then but just go to drs and get stronger pain killers and antibiotics if need be. @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, I really don't have any plans for today, but hoping that we might go visit our friend, the one I speak about most often. The flat is still clean from the flat inspection we had earlier in the week, and we have both made an unusual effort to keep it that way longer than normally happens. I like that we have a small flat, which is easier to clean in most ways. But it also gets messy much easier! Happy with myself for being more organised and onto it about housework lately. At the moment I feel better in a lot of ways than I have all year.

@eth, how are you going with the vape? I gave up on mine as it was making me cough more than smokes. Awesome that you have been to a gym introduction and will be going most weeks from now on. Sounds like you are making really fast progress. Fantastic that you are already moving towards travelling by public transport. As I've become increasingly comfortable using it again over over recent years, I find myself actually looking forward to the trips now. Hugs for the tough stuff with your deep chat with bro last night. Hoping good things come out of it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita@outlander@eth@CheerBear and everyone :D! this is just a quick good morning as I am going for a walk!!! The weather is beautiful here so I am going to make the most of it whilst son2 is away with dad. Hoping you all are doing well. Will catch up later hopefully. Love greenpea xxxxx

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