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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone. Posting here wondering whether anyone else is up, though hoping for you all that you're sleeping well.

I've had a bit of a rough night and slept very badly. My person has been sleeping in with me and last night I woke them with my tricky sleep. I had a sudden jolt of panic, feeling like I couldn't breathe and was drenched in sweat. It's very frustrating that no matter how hard I work to keep it together during the day or how well I feel I am going, I have little control over what my head and body decide to do when I'm asleep. I think it has been an eye opener for my person as they have had a very 'real' look at some of the challenges I can have.

Yesterday I visited the person in hospital. Physically it seems they are doing well enough. They gave me another look at the marks from the surgeries they have had recently which I find very confronting. It is truly amazing they have survived this far, to the point where they will be the subject of studies into this 'thing' they have. Mentally they're really having a hard time of it now, which is completely understandable. They're thinking of life beyond hospital and what it will be like. It is hard to imagine how they might move through this facing the enormous limitations they now have as well as the question of how long. I'm worried for them both. Yesterday I really pushed for support for them both while one is still an inpatient, as well post-discharge supports to start being organised. It's been difficult for me to balance pushing for support from the hospital and encouraging them to take it, while respecting their wishes to appear strong and stoic. I've had a lot of biting my tongue and big breathing but yesterday it felt like finally maybe they will be offered and accept support. I want to do more than that, but that's as much as I can do I think.

A little bit of a rave from me this morning. It's very still and quiet where I am this morning. The birds have just started to wake and it seems, aside from my feathered friends, that I am the only one in the neighborhood up which is unusual. I'm enjoying the peace before the house becomes busy and loud.

Hope the morning starts well for all.

❤ to everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander ❤

How are you this morning? Sorry to hear you've been feeling a bit alone and flat lately. How are you feeling after your appointment the other day? Seems like you have a bit to organise before you hve your teeth out.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning CB ❣ @CheerBear

Im tired but otherwise ok. Wasnt the best night here either with some strange dreams.
There was alot to take in at a half hr appt but had most questions answered. I met my dental surgeon though and she was nice, except the part where she described the details and said itll be 6 teeth not 5. 😮😮
Ive got to see the anaethetist on the 10th of dec to discuss even more things!
I do have quite abit to organise. Shes said ill need at least 5 days right away from any horses so that includes taking time off work there and she said i need to have as much time off from caring duties for the week as well so am hoping to have someone come in either daily or every second day to help with abit of housework, sorting out meals etc for pop and just hanging around abit to keep an eye on him for me so i dont have to stress so much. Ill also be staying in a hotel the day i leave the surgury and possibly the day before as they want me in early but its a 2-2.5 hr train ride to get there.

I fixed my mistake on the crochet too and ended up doing it for a few hrs. Starting to look bigger now. Have you worked on your gnome again? Im loving the sound of your graphgan too. Your very clever!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That would have been a lot to take in @outlander. Big hugs. Will your mum be able to help out with Pop? Do you have a decent freezer that maybe you could pre-prepare and freeze some meals for both Pop and yourself? Great you have some time to get ready and organised though.

Good to hear you sorted your crochet mistake. It's a pain when that happens and you need to fix it all up!

I put gnome aside but have finished Harry and started a new square this morning. I'm really enjoying it 🙂 I found a Big Bang Theory graphgan that made me think of you, Snowie and Sans911. There are some really awesome ones out there!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @outlander and @CheerBear, lovely to read you both here earlier than me this morning.

Wonder if either or both of you are still around for some chat. Also wondering if @eth or @Bunniekins might be up this Sunday morning.

If I've missed you, I'll send love and good cheer to all for this day, and will catch up on replying to earlier posts by @Exoplanet, @Sophia1, @Shaz51, @Appleblossom later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita 💗 Great to see you. How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, I'm fine this morning. Had a really good day yesterday and have now viewed and made notes on all 50 videos that have been submitted to the competition I'm judging. I've seen some wonderful pieces and am enjoying the process a lot.

Thanks for updating on what's been happening in your world. Feeling for your people and what they are now facing. So good to hear that they may be offered support, and will take it, for when unwell one is out of hospital. It's a very good thing that you have pushed for that for them.

Also glad to hear that well one may now be appreciating more what you are going through yourself, though I'm sorry you have to go through that in your sleeps so often. It can help, or at least be less lonely, when our loved ones get a clearer picture of our mental health struggles.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It was a big day indeed but i think the ride home was the worst cause it was the school and workers train too so was very cramped.
Mum will be able to help but i dont want to put extra pressure on. Im hoping they will agree to let me go in in feb rather than January cause of extra work school holidays and mum will be starting her new job as well .
I was thinking maybe something like meals on wheels for pop for the week. Breakfast hes ok with and most lunch times are ok its more the dinner part. Itll give pop someone new to talk to as well even if it is for a few minutes.

It definitely is a pain but at least i noticed early and managed to save quite abit of the yarn too despite frogging so much of it. Your graphgan sounda awesome. Do you think youll be able to share it here? Or little bits and pieces of it?
Ooh a bbt one would go nicely in my room 😏 there are heaps of patterns ive seen so many most of them like characters from tv shows. I seen someone make one that looks like a playstation remote with the buttons and circle thingys on it and ballet slippers. Too many ideas lol.
I might start a scarf and beanie set today as they are smaller projects and can do then when i get sick of going in a square 😉 ill share them here when they are done

@CheerBear


Goodmorning @Mazarita ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and @CheerBear and @outlander hoping I haven't missed you.

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