FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

14,921 - 14,930 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hmm maybe you should go bright pink! @CheerBear

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @CheerBear

the last few days have been hard , feeling a bit better tonight ,

how are you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone.

@Appleblossom, glad to hear you have cleared out your uncomfortable shoes. I did that years ago. With my long term issues in my lower legs and feet, I really just can't wear anything but very comfortable flats anymore. Aside from that, comfort is the primary deciding factor in all my clothing and shoe purchases. Makes for a more relaxed body. These days I can't even imagine doing anything else, though like many of us I'm guessing, I made my body a victim of fashion choices when younger.

I did enjoy my video watching session a couple of nights ago. I watched 22 of the 50 submissions over some hours that night. There were five of them that really impressed me. I expect there will be a lot more to watch as the deadline for submissions gets closer. That closes in about three weeks, so good to be starting the viewing process now so it doesn't turn into nightmare overwhelm at the end. I have to send my selections in two weeks after that.

I don't really have overt intellectual criteria for my choices, relying more on intuition and my natural subjective response to the pieces, as well as my deep unconscious knowledge of short film-making from doing and watching it since I was in my early 20s, and of the specific genre for the competition from prolifically making and viewing these kinds of videos myself over the past four years.

The way I see it, whether or not overt criteria are developed, all appreciation of art is subjective really. I don't believe in artistic 'canons' or the idea that there can be real objectivity when it comes to art.

When is your next zoo day? Any stories from there lately?

@outlander, wishing you calm and hopeful feelings with the appointment about your teeth today. I too had my wisdom teeth out when younger, without being put under for it. I found that was alright actually, though of course there was some pain involved, not unmanagable for me. The problem came afterwards when I got a thing called 'dry socket', which is an infection at the site where the teeth came out. That was more painful and went into my jaw. I seem to remember I needed antibiotics and some additional dentist treatment to clear that up. So, in regards to the questions you might ask today, I'd suggest that you specifically ask them to put you under for the treatment, and maybe ask what complications could occur afterwards, and if there's any way to prevent those from happening, or minimise the chances. As @CheerBear said, it is a huge relief once the worst of it is over. You will be very glad you have done it.

@eth, I haven't done anything before coming online this morning, but that's because I'm going back to bed after I post this. But I have made coffee, lol.

Interesting to read how the processing of past relationships and traumas is proceeding for you. Sounds like you are have a lot of new realisations that may help you going forward from here.

I have a physio appointment at the hospital again today. I actually strained myself in some way when I did them yesterday, have had pain in the outer side of my left leg from ankle to knee ever since! When I first started doing them, the exercises gave me sciatic pain. I'll be talking to her about this. As has always been my tendency at times with many things, I may be going at the exercises too hard in some way (another recent example, my overly vigorous dental hygiene!).

Great to read of your interest and enjoyment in the flora and fauna exhibition. How wonderful the visits from the tawny frogmouth. There's a night bird I've mentioned to @CheerBear on some of our early morning chats. It makes its calls from time to time all night, not just around dawn. I asked C about it and he thinks it might be an owl. Haunting sound! Happy new moon to you too.

Sounds pretty tough the situation with sil's mother's cat. I think the best suggestion I read in response to your post was from @Bunniekins, who suggested someone else might be able to move into her house while she's gone and take care of the cat. Is there anyone who might be able to do that, friend, other family member? There needs to be a solution to the problem somehow, as clearly the cat needs looking after or sil's mother won't be able to go on the trip. Maybe if it comes down to it, a professional kennel might have to be the way things are dealt with, even though it might not be easy for an old cat. I too hope bro will help you deal with it, by talking to sil and her mother about it. Hugs. That would be a hard situation.

@PeppiPatty, nice to see you around here again. Hope your shopping went well in Fremantle yesterday. Anything exciting you bought?

@CheerBear, happy to again hear that you are sleeping better and longer, even if overall sleep situation is still not ideal. Sounds reasonable to be using the temporary additional med at this time of such stress. I also have a prn (muscle relaxant) to use when I get too overwired or have too much trouble getting to sleep. Don't use it very often, but it is reassuring to have it for when really needed.

Hearing you so much about feeling the need for alone time. My brain and emotions become quickly scrambled if I don't get that every day. Feeling for you in not being able to find enough of that at the moment. Hugs.

Wondering what colour your hair is now. So great to read about you and @outlander finding peace and enjoyment in crochet.

@Shaz51, glad to hear you were feeling a bit better last night, after some especially hard days. Hugs to you, scotirish sister.

@Exoplanet, @Bunniekins, @Sophia1, @Adge and everyone who reads, 'supports' and/or posts in this thread, sending well wishes to all today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita Imagining you are back in bed pushing zzzzs by now but if not I'm here for a while. Hope your physio gives you a new set of stretches that address the problems the current set is causing. As I found out recently, sometimes the finest tweak of the way we do them can make all the difference.

Looking forward to chatting more when the time is right.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi to everyone around today. @Shaz51 @outlander @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @PeppiPatty @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @Dadcaringalone

Hope today is going smoothly for all so far and everyone achieves their goals for today, no matter how big or small they are.

My day is looking very quiet - main goal is to work out how to tell sil's mum that I'm not up to looking after her aging and frail but cantankerous cat for a month while they're overseas next year. She talked again at dinner last night about how unwell he's been the last few days, how he needs to go back to the vet (2nd time this week, 3rd time in about 3 weeks). There are several reasons why I'm not feeling ok about doing it. One being I don't drive at all so would have to get help if he needed to go to vet again (I can't even pick him up without him lashing out at me), two being he's in the house next door and I don't want to have to stay there to keep an eye on him. I will also have bro's house and dog here to take care of. Three being I am already really anxious about being here alone for a month even if it's just me and the dog, the cat factor is spiking extra anxiety already. Bro said he will ask a friend if they can stay here for the month but I haven't heard anything back yet. And couldn't bring myself to tell M last night when she was already upset about cat being unwell. Sil was asking her the big questions - has she decided how far she's prepared to go to save him if he gets sicker (he's 16 years old), how much is she prepared to spend, that sort of thing.

Blah blah blah - that's what's preoccupying me atm. Bro said 'well you know you have an anxiety problem, this is just the latest thing to hang it on' - doesn't make it any less real.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander hoping your dental ap't goes ok today and that you leave it feeling reassured about the procedure they will do with removing your wisdom teeth.

@CheerBear hope you feel a little more cheerfull with the change of hair colour. They say a change is as good as a holiday. But seriously, can you tell the people you are caring for that you need a little down time now and then - even if it's something like an hour a day in between school routines at both ends of the day. As nice as it is to see you in the early mornings, you need the better sleep when possible. Glad to hear your doc has given you something to help with that.

Hi to you too @Sophia1 sorry I missed tagging you. How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The video experience seems great, @Mazarita

I am off to zoo today.

@eth

Anxiety is tough and people can be very intense about their pets which make it complicated. Hope things sort themselves out soon.

@Shaz51 @outlander @CheerBear @Sophia1

Need to run

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Sounds like your decision about the cantankerous cat is the right one! Say something like looking after your cat is not good for my own mental health. Need to take care of number one. Also I understand your comment about knowing you have an anxiety problem doesn’t make it less real. I get pretty anxious sometimes after what I have recently been through and I find it helps to be mindful about my anxiety as the more insight you have the more you are able to manage it. Anyway, I thought that may help because it helps me. Have a great day wherever you are

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Dadcaringalone for your thoughtful reply. How are things going for you now that you're back at home?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋 everyone

@Mazarita - love your long posts 😊 I hope your physio appointment goes well today and you can work out a way around the pain.

@outlander - seems like we had the same idea with colour choice last night. It is incredibly bright and I love it 😁 Hoping your appointment today is OK for you. Thinking of you.

@eth the cat situation would be really stressful and something I think I would struggle to bring up also. If the trip is next year and the cat is increasingly unwell and quite old, I wonder whether he will even make it until they go away. Looking after him sounds like big pressure. Anxiety is definitely real and I can understand your worry over it all.

@Shaz51 glad you were feeling better last night after a few hard days. Hugs for you too ❤

@Appleblossom hope you have a good day at the zoo 🙂

I have a little down time today after an appointment, which I am really looking forward to. I was up way, way too early this morning, even for me. Hoping I will get to make some more of a blanket I am working on.

Hope the morning goes well for everyone 🙂
14,921 - 14,930 of 27,230