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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks to you too @CheerBear. I hope your down time eventuates today. Sounds like you're loving your new hair!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Thought that may help you! It helps me. Had a great break in Bali. Started going to the gym again in Bali and have continued it since I got back. Having a fit body is really important to me as well as eating well. Been doing a bit of socializing since I got back and will continue on the weekend and next week.

My son is much better on his new meds. Much more stable, he still has anger bursts now and then with no triggers but I can manage these if I’m mindful and don’t mention anything associated with his illness. I now understand it’s important to have regular breaks and will have one this weekend and then at the start of Dec. How are you traveling?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Life's a mixed bag for me atm @Dadcaringalone. Getting out with a support worker 3x a week which is really good for me, but interspersed with heavy psychology sessions and lots of anxiety which I've raved about already here. Overall coping reasonably well considering those aspects.

It's great to hear that you son is a lot better on his meds. That must be such a relief for you. And congratulations on finding ways to have regular breaks.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

That is fine re tagging...I know that it is easy to forget a name if someone has not posted on a thread for a while...

Looking after cat scenario....

I know that you have had great understanding from son and family in the past...

What do you think of approaching it from...

thanking them for being so very understanding all of this time in relation to your NDIS situation....how that is now allowing you to start getting out of the house....a work in progress in settling your anxiety.. you have thought about the cat situation and would feel far more comfortable if someone was looking after their cat that might need an urgent visit to the vets...there are house sitting organisations where people would love the opportunity to stay in such a setting as their place...

a gentle reminder that you have been through so much to get where you are....only the beginning of your journey...how grateful you are for all of their support...however you are aware of your limitations and thinking of the welfare of an older animal that would need more attention..

Just a thought...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your suggestions @Sophia1. I've done some of what you suggest with bro, but it seems I need to speak for myself with sil's mum. He did say he'd ask a friend if she wants to stay here for the month but I haven't heard anything further on that. I'm waiting to hear how cat is today and trying to plan what I need to say.

How are things going for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh that sounds difficult as I know with anxiety we need to have things sorted sooner...

@eth

You have spent some time with sil mum and enjoyed her company...

perhaps a nice card wishing her a wonderful trip..bon voyage...a quiet chat..

what is most important is that regardless of everyone else your health comes first for you..

there are other options that she has and they are not your concern..

I don't mean to come across sternly or bossy...

I have had these words said to me over the years and realisation sunk in heavily when my health deteriorated...

How am I?

still all over the place really..

I am not sure that it has even registered that we have sold the house and moved into rental place yet...

Perhaps it won't the time will come when new house is built we move again ...yeah....and I shall just settle myself there in a new chapter of my life...

So in many ways I am still in a holding pattern as I have been for so long...

Thanks for asking dear Eth...

I know that I don't get to talk to you very much these days...just my headspace...stretching myself too far over too many threads...

sticking to talking with people with whom I feel comfortable ...including yourself... xxlove Sophia

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks foe the well wishes everyone. Will try to catch up later when im home 💞💞

And good morning to you all @CheerBear @eth @Sophia1 @Mazarita @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @PeppiPatty and everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love to you too @Sophia1. I stopped spreading myself around many threads some months ago and it works a lot better for me. I know I'm missing contact with several other friends I've made here, but I just can't keep track of what's happening in too many people's lives.

I can understand you feeling like you're in a limbo zone with renting in between owned houses. Hope the building of your new house goes without a hitch and that you will get to put your roots down again before too long.

Heading off-line now, hope today is gentle on you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi again everyone, back online after some more sleep. Waking up about every two hours at night, and finding it hard to go back to sleep straight away, means it takes about 12 hours to accumulate eight hours sleep. Was running on about four hours sleep a night during the busier times last week. Glad to be getting more rest this week, even if it means the longer stretch of time to get it.

@eth, I posted earlier in the morning that I had not done anything aside from making coffee before coming online. But since waking after this last recent sleep for the night, I made the bed, opened the blinds and turned on some good mood music before coming here. Glad to be starting to get into a habit of doing at least a few things before coming online, as you (and your psychologist) suggested.

Sorry that bro was really not helpful with that comment about your anxiety, and that you are still faced with having to tell sil's mother yourself about being unable to look after her cat when she is away. A sick cat that needs a lot of visits to the vet when you don't drive, and lashes out when you try to pick her up, is clearly not something you can manage really. I wish bro had been more understanding about that. He seems to be such a great brother in so many ways, but I guess no-one's perfect. Hope bro's friend comes through to look after the second house and cat. I seem to remember that where you are has a semi-communal aspect. Any neighbours that might be able to help if the friend doesn't come through? From what you have said about how unwell the cat is, and that sil is already asking the tough questions about it's future, I too wonder, as did @CheerBear, whether the cat will even make it to next year and the time when your loved ones go overseas. Hugs for the anxiety you have been feeling about this, and for the tough aspects of therapy. But happy to hear your trips out with support workers three times a week are proving really helpful.

@Appleblossom, the video viewing is good. Inspiring to see so many other artists' work, and a good change of pace from focussing most of the time on my creative practice. Hope your day at the zoo is great.

@Dadcaringalone, really glad to hear of the improvements with your son and the new meds. Wonderful that you had such a good break in Bali, and were inspired to return to the gym while there. Socialising too sounds great for you, and being able to enjoy such things while caring for son seems likely to be very helpful to your own wellbeing as well, and therefore your capacity to deal with son's issues. Glad to hear you will be taking regular breaks to maintain your own mental health too. By the way, did you have any luck with fixing your settings so that you don't get too many email notifications?

@CheerBear, reassuring to hear that you like my long posts. Sometimes I try to keep them shorter, but it's great to feel free enough here to express myself at some length, and to be able to respond fulsomely to others.

Happy to hear you will be getting a bit of down time today after your appointment. Enjoy!

@Sophia1, your posts appeared as I was drafting this message. Hope today treats you well.

@outlander, same with your post. Sending more kind wishes for your dental appointment today.

I've got about half an hour before I need to get ready and leave for my physio appointment. If anyone is around and feels like a bit of chat, I'm here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I had a funny night as I did not sleep at all, even tho I took meds. I was anxious as had to do a couple of things for son. I still did my shift but was very fragile and interacted minimally. Mainly looking at the animals.

Thanks @CheerBear for zoo well wishes. The gardens were very beautiful. The horticultural dept had been active, trimming and pruning tidying and planting and it looked fabulous. I focussed on self care today, felt short on words.

Hi @Dadcaringalone@outlander @Sophia1 @Mazarita

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