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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Ladies

@Sophia1 @CheerBear @eth @Bunniekins @outlander @Exoplanet

I am in one and only strappy summer dress atm. It is full length but I baulked at wearing it out, and converted it to a nightie, which can extend into pj days in the house. So my son has seen me in it. Am I prudish, not really, have gone to nude beaches etc in my 20s. It seems to result from being too poor to buy girly clothes and not wasting resources, so investing in material or patterns that would last a long time. I actually like wearing the dress now, but did not wear it outside my bedroom for a few years.

I also bought a revealing brown top once which showed a lot of decolletage. I wore it once when teaching, must have not felt right as I gave it to the opshop. SO for a girl who has worked as a life model I am also quite shy.

Re the How mad are you.

I felt it was problematic too @Mazarita so wont watch the rest. I suspected it would be a relatively mild glossy approach. Better than nothing and good that stigma is being faced, but my reality was always much harder ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Hi Appleblossom Re the How mad are you. 'too glossy' as both you and Mazzy say is how I thought it would be approached too so I didn't watch it. I didn't want to hear beautiful, young people talk about their mental illness or not or some how mental illness becoming cool. Anyway that is what I thought at the time I am probably wrong and it was probably handled well but I still wouldn't want to see it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am so happy that you were able to rest your troubled soul with your ex-H. It is awful to carry around baggage from our past like a noose around our necks. For me it is like being (without trying to sound dramatic) crucified over and over again. One of the many reasons why I am determined to deal with my issues even though they will come at some personal cost. That personal cost is easier to cope with than the guilt.

Your first bf sounds delightful. How wonderful that you still have such a close relationship with him after all these years and after you enduring so much Mazzy. Reminds me of my ex hubbies first real gf. She rang up out of the blue a few times when her marriage broke down and then one night she rang up really late and I answered the phone. She was embarrassed I could tell by the tone and it was all very civil but she never rang back.

Sometimes relationships can stand the distance of time whilst others have to end. I am so happy that yours is still flourishing :Dxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Am very pleased to hear your son's response...

@Bunniekins

it means a lot to me...

thank you for sharing...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry @Bunniekins

meant to tell you that I have not heard of that film...will check it out one day...

short on words at moment....not about you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 np I get short on words too where I just float around in the background or make the occasional 'support'. I understand completely xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

a quick warm hello @Bunniekins@Mazarita@eth@CheerBear@Appleblossom@Exoplanet

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1@Mazarita@Appleblossom@eth@CheerBear Good morning to everyone and all those who pass by. Hoping everyone has a super Tuesday full of calmness and kindness. Love gp xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins how are you today? What's happening in your world?

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