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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. In about half an hour I'm going to watch Frasier. I hope I don't fall asleep. When I was playing spider solitaire on my mobile yesterday while resting in the armchair, I kept nodding off while thinking about moves. I'd wake with a little jolt and go back to it. Eventually I had to give up, lol.

Doing well these past few days on not much sleep and more activity than usual, but I have to be out of that armchair if I want to stay awake!

@Bunniekins, yes, I live in skimpy dresses during the extended summers we get here, and even then I sweat. Usually the ones I wear when I go out are a bit longer so I don't shock the locals, lol. But at home the short ones come out and I look like mutton dressed as lamb, and don't care.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins it was @Mazarita who mentioned it. I take it to mean when we do a "top and tail" - clean and groom ourself without actually getting under a shower. I use my sink in my cabin and a washer, and sometimes wet wipes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita 'mutton dressed up as lamb' that is a great one!!! Go Mazzy!!!! As long as you have the confidence you can get away with almost anything I think ... life is too short to worry about what other people think anyway :D. Mazzy .... how was your first bf the other day.... that must have been a blast from the past for you 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Ahhhh .... I think that is a great idea. Personally I hate getting wet ...because I have a huge mirror in the bathroom which unless I do a Miss Habersham???? and cover the mirror with a towel I get a huge reminder of how fat I am.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @Bunniekins it's nice to see you both. I need to get off-line for a while. Feeling dozy so might lie down with a book of Australian short stories and see how many pages I last!

Edit - Snap @Bunniekins I feel that way too!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Good idea eth I am going to join you. Have a great day everyone 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, I'm trying to look at my overweight and aging, naked body with love and acceptance these days. Not always easy, but I'm making progress, I think. I reckon you and me, @eth, and anyone who's interested, could think about starting a 'loving my body the way it is club'!

My first boyfriend on the phone the other day, you ask. Well, as it happens, we have been friends all these years since we were together in our early 20s. He has told me in the past that he considers me part of his extended family now, and he is certainly one of my dearest friends. We don't have contact so much these days, as he is in another state, with his long term partner, two children and extremely busy cleaning business. But we always catch up when I am in town, or when he and/or his family are up here.

You might remember I also sent a message on FB to my ex-husband that same day, but had received no reply, which is sometimes what happens when I send him an occasional message. But as it referred to my recent heart scare, he answered me the next day, with a brief message, but meaningful to me.

So all good on both fronts. In fact, I said to my ex-H some things I wanted to say for some years, at least before I die. Basically I told him he was always a good husband to me, which I felt he might doubt because of the awful way I treated him often back then. He appreciated it, and I now feel some relief and healed karma.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Again I was raving too long and missed you both go, @eth, @Bunniekins. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day, my friends.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Thanks Mazzy 🙂 keep telling the pea that. I need that reassurance. xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita You never rave too long. I love your's and eth's discussions. Keep them coming please. xxxx

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