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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth! Wonder if I've caught you in time for a real time chat. Seems like it's been a while. Will leave this message here and see if you answer.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wondering what's going on for you @Bunniekins and @Exoplanet haven't seen either of you for a few days. Hoping things are ok for you both and you're just busy irl.

Another day at home for me today. I really need the days at home between the days with support workers. Me time. Tomorrow I have my 2nd last denture appointment with a support worker for the morning. She's one I quite like so maybe just a cafe visit after the appointment.

@Mazarita hope you got some more sleep and that your prep for the inspection goes well today. As well as getting out again.

@CheerBear I hope your big day goes smoothly. Happy to hear you still have Friend in your life. He sounds like a good find.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

SNAP! @Mazarita Yep I'm here. How are you my friend?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, good to see you in real time.

I'm okay this morning. Still only had about four hours sleep, so will go back for more before too long. Headache has subsided to almost nothing overnight, hope it stays that way when I get out in the heat again today.

Totally understand the need for me time between days with appointments. At the moment, I am needing a bit less of that it seems. Nothing like a visit to Emergency to make you appreciate the life and time you have!

Do you have any ideas what you might do with your quiet day at home?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear your headache has eased @Mazarita and hope it doesn't come back today. Remember to drink lots of water, especially in the heat I imagine you are sharing with us here.

Just dithering here, no plans yet for today.

Went to the beach at nightfall yesterday with bro and took the dog for a swim (we didn't) - it was beautiful at that time of evening.

Sent Mum a very brief message the day before (still not wanting to engage in dialogue with her) and received a bunch of flowers with no name on them later that day. As much as the flowers are beautiful, I just can't trust her motives currently. Sounds selfish maybe but she's done it before - puts me in a place where I'm meant to show gratitude despite not being over what's happened between us. She's a class A manipulator and I'm not responding. Somehow will have to get through a few days with her here at Christmas.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 5th short nap sounds a great idea :). I plan to do that today. Hi to @Mazarita@CheerBear@Shaz51@Appleblossom@Exoplanet@outlander and all who pass today. It will be 35 degrees here to hot to go out so am staying inside as I hate the heat. Hoping everyone has a calm and wonderful day 😄 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins good to see you here too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, nice to have received the flowers from your mum, but understand your doubts and reluctance to respond.

The heat here won't be extreme, max 27 degrees with 56% humidity. But I overheat and sweat so easily, sometimes even when sitting here and typing at the computer! Doing my mild physio exercises in this coolish room often brings out a bit of a sweat! It's a side effect of one of my meds that I've chosen to live with. At least I think that's the reason (hope). It could still be menopause, but I have a feeling I may be past that.

In any case, I drink loads of water during the day and sometimes even take a hydralyte sachet if I think there might be risk of dehydration, as that also happens to me very easily and have been very sick with it in the past. Very bad headaches when that happens.

A twilight visit to the beach sounds so lovely. I love watching dogs on the beach. They are so happy and playful.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth a walk along the beach at night with your dog and bro sounds lovely 😄

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins, good to see you too.

35 degrees doesn't sound like much fun at all. I'd be staying inside in that weather too. Do you have any ideas what you might do with your indoors day, aside from staying cool? Not sure if you are for more chat. If not, have a lovely day.

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