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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I just did the forgiveness exercise this morning and yes I find it really does help :). Such a simple thing to do and yet gives back such kindness 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awesome, @Bunniekins! I have been doing it too, a number of times over the past day. I wrote a message to my ex husband on Facebook, that said some very personal and exposing things about my reflections back on our marriage. He sometimes doesn't reply to my occasional messages and hasn't replied to this one yet, so I am feeling quite vulnerable about it. A lot of my guilt has related to the bad ways I treated him when we were together, even though it all ended with our divorce about 20 years ago. The forgiveness exercise has been helping me with these feelings.

What are you up to today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Funny that I just posted that. I just got a text from my first boyfriend, asking if I'm up for a phone call! Need to get off the forum now as he'll be ringing in a few minutes. Have a good one today, @Bunniekins, whatever you get up to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Well Mazzy I am having a dagging around day :D. I was hoping to see my gp but she is booked out :o! and as I need a booking for both me and my daughter that fits into my son's hours I have to wait till next week!! Never mind it is only for a referral and no rush with it. So here I am with free hours to go for a walk as the weather is cool and cloudy (just the way the pea likes it).

Tomorrow I wont be on as I will have my son2 home as he will be having his pdoc appointment (cross fingers it all goes well). I will take him for a walk to the bakery in the morning so he can have some treats before we set off. Kind of make the day special for him.

I think you are very brave being so honest with your ex husband about those awful times. I wish I could be so honest with my loved ones. I have with my good looking pdoc and he was shocked but very understanding (he was a very good man) and he said that no one would understand .... so I will have to live with it like baggage on my shoulders.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita your rist bf!!!!! OMG! you will have to tell us all about it? Does he want to meet up with you? Wow! How many years has it been since you have spoken? Amazing 😄

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Appleblossom

Thank you for such a supportive...caring response..in relation to my time on here ...as well as ongoing "family member" situation..you have been a part of my journey on here at different times...thank you..yes I am attempting to understand the challenges that life offers when it comes to family and loved ones...as so many on these forums do...on the carer side of the forums also...

Reading your post about your journey with singing....how you have grown to accept yourself is very inspiring indeed..

You have come full circle...back to yourself...your answers are within...as we all eventually find out..

I sensed such joy in your writing....catching....

you speak of warmth that you felt..

I am sensing such warmth in your words...are you aware that you are glowing and sending out warmth to these people yourself?

Have you ever thought of song writing?

I hope that your slow home day with son was calming for you both...

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita

You are probably resting now...

You are sounding well within yourself...having come a long way with medication changes...side effects...life disappointments...flat inspections...

I smiled at your friendship description...how you have both unknowingly stepped back and both benefited...

life is so incredible at times...

Post surgery I am dealing with by looking at how far I have come...I am realising that 1-2 year total recovery diagnosis from two different physiotherapists at rehab hospital is not that outrageous as it sounded or should I say terrifying ...at the time..

When explained to me the depth literally of operation ....tissues...cells...regrowth...etc...it does make sense..

I do find now that I come across as looking very well....yet mid afternoon I tire and need to slow down...rest..

So I become frustrated when constantly having to justify to others ...even husband at times...that I cannot accept evening invitations...

We did go out for dinner a couple of times and it just set me back...

Slow and steady wins the race said the tortoise to the hare....my motto laugh!

great news re video opportunity....isn't it odd how turning down one opportunity leaves the door open for another..

I too have tried hand on heart...only remember to do so when read on here that others are finding it successful..

For me I seem to hold my breath...anxiety stuff...so need to try and work on it..

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes it was a good experience.

I would still go carefully about self disclosure. I made the mistake of believing there would be a lot more understanding for mental illness, disclosed, and have been treated abominably by lots of nice people with nice reputations.

I am being very general when I said that I gained hope from those posts. I also know that the level of support is only very superficial. Issues re stigma have a LONG way to go. I have gone back to being careful about not rocking any boats, which was my style as a child. I NEEDED this forum to recover from the real LACK out there in my social world.

Funny thing just happened. On phone, I was asked to give donation re fixing NDIS problems. Hmmm ho hum. Someone has me down as being richer than I am.

Yes the NDIS has many problems, I am trying to prepare myself.

Hello @eth @Bunniekins @Adge @Exoplanet

@Sophia1

Unconscious Breath holding is a huge issue.

Take Care ALL

I like it when the gesture matches the mind and heart, in the self forgiveness practise.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth

sorry my head is so foggy at the moment...

I am trying to respond to each person...

not doing very well at it..

I changed my username last year as I had concerns that "family member" might read what I had written...identify who I was and that I was talking about the family....

I worry about anonymity and respect...so have chosen to not identify anyone..

not doing a very good job of it...

as find myself all over the place with my posts.

wanted to let you know it is not you...it is me..

thank you for caring...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Sophia1, @Mazarita, @Appleblossom, @Bunniekins, @Adge

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