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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Garden time and putting the final touches of sheen to work already done sounds like a nice way to go today, @CheerBear.

We too try to look on the flat inspections as opportunities for a better cleanup than we usually do. It is so nice after it's done and the inspection out of the way. Doesn't last for long though, in a small flat with too much stuff in it! Still, the cleanup does improve our overall quality of life.

Thanks for your kind words about our friendship on the forum over time. Means a lot to me. I find your presence here very inspiring, your way of expressing yourself, the way you reach out to others with such kindness and empathy. You are a beautiful soul, something that others see clearly too. I so love our dawn meetings.

With that, I will go offline, and head back to sleep. Hope the day brings relaxation and some good times.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to catch up this morning @Mazarita and thanks for your kind words. Hope your day is one with plenty of good in it ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone. While chatting with @CheerBear this morning, I have been catching up on recent posts during the time between, and writing these replies. I hope the morning has been good to wake up to for all.

@Exoplanet, thank you for your loads and loads of love about the scare with my heart earlier in the week. It warms and possibly heals that same heart to read it coming my way. I'm sure it has affected me at some deep level to have had the experience. And yet I have really had quite a good week. Perhaps it has made me appreciate life more.

Glad to hear your car isn't going to cost an arm and a leg. So wonderful to read that you and the puppies are loving the expanded private space to walk, run and play.

I don't know what a pet tracker is. I imagine it's a fangled digital device of a kind my old self hasn't caught up with yet. Technology changes quickly. Sorry about your long, tough experience in the shopping centre and Telstra shop. Dehydration definitely wouldn't have made it any easier. Would it be possible to do some Google tech searches to gather more information on possibly getting it to work? That's my first 'go-to' when I need to learn something about technology I'm not understanding. I proably wouldn't be able to make videos without tech advice from Google! It also helps when anything goes weird with my computer.

Loads of love back to you and hope you have a great day.

@Bunniekins, I might have mentioned before that there's a little exercise my psychologist gave me a year ago when I first went to see her about my heavy guilt and shame over past deeds, that significantly contribute to my depressions. I have been consistently using this little exercise over the past year, at times those feelings arise. I put my right hand over my heart in a nurturing way and say out loud, 'I forgive you'. If I'm not somewhere I can speak it out loud, I say it in my mind. Similarly I can forego the hand gesture if necessary and just say it in my mind.

The idea is that the forgiveness we most need is from ourselves. It's best if it can be said out loud, as we then actually hear the words, which in some tricky psychological way is apparently almost as good as hearing someone else say it to us. The mind hears it. I feel that it has helped me a lot over the year. Be kind to the Pea.

@Appleblossom, this one's for when you get back from singing. Hope it has been an rewarding couple of days with it. Look forward to hearing about it if and when you are ready to share.

@Shaz51, how are you going? Are you happy with your hairdo? Sending hugs your way, scotirish sister.

@Faith-and-Hope, good to see you around here and wonderful to read of your ongoing journey with art.

@eth, I didn't post on the forum at all yesterday, but was reading and 'supporting' various posts. I'm getting days like that lately. Trying to manage my feelings of overexcitement, that tend to come and go in waves every day. Sometimes chatting on the forum is too stimulating for me and it seems more helpful to do things in real life, even if it's just sitting in a chair and breathing. Thinking of you even when absent. Did you get to the disability expo? Glad to hear the sun has been out for you.

@Sophia1, you never need to apologise for time taken to reply, or even if you don't reply. I always feel the forum works best for us on a no obligation basis, that leaves us feeling as free as possible from anxiety over anything here. Having said that, it's great to read your reply, and I knew straight away which post you were referring too.

How is your reduction of sleeping meds going?

I too really like Bob Dylan lyrics and agree he is a poet. There was controversy about him winning the Nobel Prize for poetry last year or the year before. Even he was taken aback. I think he was a worthy winner and agree that song lyrics can be poetry. Another musical artist I love for his words is Neil Young.

On the net, I read contemporary poets who have very little recognition. I can relate more to them as real people like me than distant poets who have been put on a pedestal, though I know they were once real people like me too and I'm probably missing out on highly inspired and accomplished writing. So I can't really name famous poets I like, but there are a number of the real independent ones I read regularly and even talk with occasionally as friends via the net. I tend to follow trails through the net and find things randomly. And then, if I like what I'm reading, I might follow that person on Twitter or FB. That's how I come to read them repeatedly and even get to know them a little.

Hope your day is bright and kind, Sophia.

@everyone, well wishes to all for this Sunday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita What beautiful words Mazzy I have just done the heart over the hand and can feel it working. If I forget (as sometimes I do as my memory isn't great these days) will you remind me please :). You are a sweetheart and a dear friend to the pea. Love greenpea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita and everyone else passing here today. Hope today is starting peacefully for you all. And that you're having a good snooze Maz.

Yes I did get to the disability expo yesterday. It was huge, something like 70 exhibitors, nearly all NDIS providers with a few things like mobility vehicles thrown in. Quite overwhelming for the first 1/2 hour or so, so we went out for a coffee at the cafe outside and went through the program and identified about 10 that I actually wanted to see and focussed on finding just them when we went back in. The most difficult moment for me was a guy from 'clickability' with really piercing eyes who stood too close to me while demonstrating his computer program. Every time I took a step away he took a step closer. I was so rattled I couldn't remember my sw's name (tho I've been with her a few times now) and had to click my fingers to get her attention. Felt stupid about it afterwards but she was reassuring me that it was understandable. And apologized for being more than a couple of steps away.

Found a couple more organizations that do travel support and one of them actually had a booklet with example prices in it - aghast!!! So expensive. Over $500 for one day and up to 5000 for a few days (with 1:1 support) where there is accommodation and meals included in the quote. There has to be another way for me. Even if the funds did come out of my NDIS budget, I can't justify that type of expense and it would eat too far into my budget for regular weekly support workers. It really feels like quite a few of the newer services are more in it for the money than anything else and jumping on the NDIS bandwagon.

Looking forward to some chat today as I have a quiet day at home ahead of me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita

sleeping tablet scenario left me yesterday with substantial anxiety...

again I am not sure if it is part of side effects for stopping or anxiety about what is happening all around me still..

both I imagine..

anxiety has definitely intensified...do not want to use prn as then cannot separate which medication doing what...

So I took half a tablet last night after reading up on side effects of going cold turkey....can even cause death!!

also apparently should be stopped in hospital...

well that is not going to happen

will talk to my therapist tomorrow...

as I really am unable to determine why anxiety is enhanced...current life situation or side effects of sleeping tablet..

"family member" situation has heightened for me...

It really is down to which comes first the chicken or the egg..

anxiety present again now stronger than usual...could also be because I am acknowledging the fact on here and writing about it...

might play some music...

@eth

quick reply...

agree re outrageous prices for ndis packages...

I agree about the demonstrator in your space...what was the support worker doing?

@Exoplanet

good news re car

so pleased that you are enjoying the benefits of your own guarded environment...

shopping malls...arcades I cannot cope with for too long either..

I need to see the sky..

@CheerBear

a lovely way to start the day...conversing with a bird...

I have recorded videos of animals on my phone...of a parrot yesterday...

wanting to share them on here..

only to find when I play them back that I have recorded my voice talking to them as well..

so not happening..

lastly am self-caring still ...sounds strange writing it that way...

hence jumbled goobledook in responses..

thinking of you all anyway

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending warm wishes your way @Sophia1 for your anxiety to abate and finding the right way to get off the sleeping med as you want to.

The support worker was only about 3 metres away - with all the noise it was easy for her not to realise I'd been bailed up by a pushy demonstrator.

What's happening with your 'family member' if you don't mind me asking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

afternoon everyone
i hope your days have been ok so far

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Hi outlander wishing you a wonderful afternoon 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Long Ravers.

I am back from a wonderful singing weekend. It was a success and very well received. The venue was new for me and was great.

Socially, I had the delightful experience of being in a room of mostly strangers and having many good conversations and feeling well cared for. People were approaching me positively in a way that really warmed my soul. I have experienced all the classic Mental health fears and endured much social isolation. I have worked hard to conquer my fears, and it seemed to pay off. I did not worry about networking as such, was just quietly myself. Did not feel the need to gain contacts but facilitated a few networking opportunities for others, in a natural way. I had a real sense of the dhamma working in a positive way, when a woman began describing a unique scene at her training uni which I knew about. It was very much a mix of dedicated committed or professional women and there were 3 church organists sitting in a row. The people who did know me were 3 other people who have always been warm and decent in their unique special ways and one who has been a perrenial thorn in my side for over 10 years. The silly woman had to speak to me as it would have seemed rude, when others were being inclusive, and I am over the issue. My son and I have found others ways to develop socially and musically in spite of her, it is a big social growth for me not to be overwhelmed by fear or anger at the injustice, but to be able to take it in my stride.

I was adopted and went to dinner with a lovely group and a lady insisted on driving me to the train late at night. I know when I am being treated right, am grateful and it was lovely.

I hope you are doing well, even when it is sitting in the choar breathing. I love reading your long posts. @MazaritaThe simplicity you espouse resonates and is helpful for me to read and they are considerate and relevant to each person. Heart feelings can be manifold. @Mazarita Some friends arranged a recent gig all around issues of the heart. For me heart issues also involve COURAGE and BRAVERY, not just romance. That can be part of the stress side I guess.

@outlander Young and precious. Keep being you and learn self protection.

@Sophia1 I have known about your struggles with son 1 for years now. My heart bleeds for you but that does not help in these insistances. So I just try and stay supportive around you. I am glad son 2 is in a good position. It is tragic as a mother witnessing some of the different life paths that develop amongst our children. We can only have so much influence. A great deal is really outside of our control.

@CheerBear Love your roof bird and your uplifting posts. I was not up early this morning, but indulged a good lie in after a busy few days. It is the way my life has gone, but the serenities of your style shine through. We can be enriched by others even if they are different.

@eth Glad that you managed to get something out of going to the expo, despite the pushy sales person. We dont have a YUK emoticon!

YUK

It adds difficulties to the disabled that health care has become such an bustling industry we have to sift through a myriad things to find genuine, relevant and efficacious care. Choice has pros and cons. Its not all good.

Overall I hope you can develop a plan that works for you.

I heard about the NDIS Farmers Fund swaparoo via someone in my music sphere. He was disgusted and posted about it widely. Which is great. It means my worlds are not too far apart. So I dont have to stretch as much. 30 years ago there was a big difference between my music and mental/emotional/social health worlds.

Today I am hoping to connect with my son in a slow home day.

Regards Everybody.

Please dont take it personally if I forget to tag you. Over time I hope to get around to all the lovely souls who have made my journey of the last few years better and more companionable than ever.

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