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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

so glad your going better @Mazarita

hello to everyone here too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander Hope you are coping alright.

Glad you are home safe and sound @Mazarita and that your man did the right thing by you.

@Sophia1 Enjoy your day planned with your son. Hope your health is holding out.

@eth What a lovely idea going for a bush walk with a mental health worker, He/she will get extra benefits from working hanging aound with YOU.

Gender is so bound up with many assumptions about life its hard to unpack them. Sorry to hear about the difficulty with your mum. It is extreme to call it child abuse, even is they just dont understand.

You are very loyal to your daughter's chosen values. She is lucky to have you. On the gender issues, I relate to your daughter more than your mother, I guess, but its sad.

@Bunniekins It is so good having your bubbly personality around.

Take Care ALL

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone

@Bunniekins, no worries about not being here, my friend. I was lucky to have @CheerBear to chat with in the early morning while it was all starting to happen, and other messages and 'supports' throughout the day, and since. I wasn't actually that scared!

There was probably some weird bipolar psychology at play, but I was quite upbeat most of the time. I felt really cared for by my GP (she squeezed my hand in a most reassuring way as I was heading off to the ambulance, and asked me to be in touch about what happened over the phone). Also friendly chat with the nurse at the GP's clinic, as well as a good conversation with the paramedic in the ambulance about the state of the world and other stuff. The nurses in Emergency were jokey and nice. The doctor who looked after me was young and handsome (the Pea might have been flirting, lol), took me seriously, and answered all questions I had well. At the end he gave me the option of being admitted to hospital for the additional tests there, or to go the outpatients route. The words he used were something like, 'I'm not going to dictate to you what I think you should do in a paternalistic way'. That impressed me no end! I love it when I see younger generation people showing signs like that of a better future for us all. I'm a terrible inpatient, and have checked myself out of hospital twice before while having anxiety attacks from being in there. So I opted for the outpatients route.

Hope your mother was behaving herself, and that it was generally an okay, hopefully better-than-that day.

@eth, did you get your bushwalk today? Feeling for your strongly ambivalent feelings in relation to your mum. I was also absent when my mum had a kidney removed as a cancer treatment several years ago (no other treatment need, thank goodness). In fact I'd lost it with her in a terrible way over one horrible night, on a visit down there not long before her surgery (guilt to the max). She does have very good family, medical and local council support though, and I take a lot of reassurance from that.

It's been fortunate that we've both made good effort since to build a better bridge between us, probably especially her. It's still quite difficult for me to keep from being snappy at times when we are together in person, rather than on the phone, where we get along well now. I have really wanted love to win out before she dies. Having said that, and despite her being 83, yesterday's experience suggested to me it's just as possible I might die first!

I was gentle on myself today, but also made it to art group. I ended up staying at the centre for three hours, carefully texta-colouring a Mexican sugar skull for Halloween (and 'Day of the Dead') decorations there. Also had pleasant interractions with peers and staff, along with some nice quiet times of no chat, while we were focussing on our art thing. Stayed until close of business and finished my skull with perfect timing. I love that place.

I was also talking with one of the staff there about the NDIS for a little while, and told her of your experience with it. She was interested to hear about it, as she supports others going through the process.

@Sophia1, interesting that your heart symptoms turned out to be panic attacks. I have been wondering about that myself. I'm not aware of being especially panicky, but it could be happening at a bodily/unconscious kind of level for all I know. Ambulances are paid for in Queensland, I think as part of the electricity bill. I'm not 100% sure how it's paid for really, but it's been free for me on all three occasions I've needed an ambulance over the past 16 years.

How was your meetup with younger son? Hope it was lovely.

@outlander, thanks for your support and love hearts. Always like seeing them. Hugs to you.

@Appleblossom, C was indeed a wonderful presence, as usual. Kept me laughing while sitting by my side at the hospital, did little errands and drove me where I needed to go.

I so enjoy hearing about your times at the zoo, your wonderful creativity, and that of your son. Look forward to more of it. Peace, forum sister.

@Exoplanet, yesterday's events distracted me from your latest adventures out and about with the dogs. Look forward to reading the next instalment. Lots of love to you and your canine clan.

Hope the evening treats everyone well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@MazaritaGlad you had support of gp and C. It was still a serious situation.

I recently made friends with a Mexican lady and we hit it off talking about the traditions and Day of the Dead.

I have been back to research about BiPolar for my son and I. It is a curious shift in mindset, that I have a diagnosis and gradually I am letting that sink in. Recently my health care team have apologised for it taking so long for me to get support. They say I present well enough for people not to get how seriously I also suffer. OMG I have been over the edge for so long. It also ties in with whole Mixed Features aspect. I am wondering if anti depressants have contributed to mania and slowly trying to wean, but it is slow. Will raise it with pdoc next time.

Something happened with son and gf and neither are going to be in upcoming concert. So much for hopes last night. She is more distressed than my boy, though he was caring in taking her across town. He is going to his dads tomorrow and still wants me to go ahead with my plans for concert. So I will.

Last night I sat next to a lady in that recorder group. She did not recognise me at first. I seem to have a thing about finally being able to recognise people, and that I am not being thrust into another new anonymous crowd and that solid individuals emerge ...

Perhaps concerts mask my mania or are sensible use of energy and skill. It has certainly helped keep SI at bay. I am not so worried and allowing myself the luxury, that I have a disability and am entitled to support and positive experiences.

Yes good arts experiences are so valuable.

Dont know where I over compensate for son or whats fair. He said he had a good single session Yesterday. Hoorah its his first time. SO there is hope.

Hi @Sophia1 @eth @Bunniekins @outlander and everyone ..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita lol funny you should say the 'bipolar kicked in' because when drama hits here with son2 I can feel the adrenaline rush and 'enjoy' it if you know what I am saying. Just so happy that you are fine .... I wonder what it was though ...... so you will still have tests done to try and establish what happened? I think that is important. It will put your mind at rest.

Mum behaved herself yesterday (thank god!) and I have nothing planned today which is great. Might have a sleep as soon as son2 goes off to his day program. Have a great day Mazzy hopefully it will be callm and 'pea'ceful for you. Love gp xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Bunniekins.

Glad to hear your mum was a good girl yesterday.

How are your slight med changes going?

Yes, I think you are right about the bipolar kicking in. It did feel kind of exciting, almost like an adventure in my otherwise ordinary life. Crazy to feel that way when my life was potentially threatened, but it helped get through it with good humour. The hardest thing to be honest was after I'd been six hours without a smoke. I was feeling the withdrawals by the end of it and the first thing I did when I got home was have one! It's clearly not something I should be doing given current health, but I'm making future plans for another attempt at quitting. Trying to be a good girl too, when I'm not really all that good at all in some ways.

I'll be ringing today to make another appointment with my GP, to debrief with her about things, and get a referral to the public hospital cardiologist for the additional tests. I've also started taking my own blood pressure at the local chemist, and will do that every time I am at the local village. Yesterday they gave me a card to record the results that I can then show my GP. It was still elevated yesterday, given my history of always excellent blood pressure and heart rate in the past. But not dangerously so. Fingers crossed I hold up okay now until my name comes up on the outpatients waiting list.

I've been up since 4am and have only had two hours sleep overnight. But no plans today other than having a shower and maybe going to a live poetry event tonight. So I'll get some more sleep before too long. I'll probably watch some Frasier when I wake up again (yesterday's was hilarious), then later Star Trek, which I love as you know. Anything else will be bonus.

Hope your day is enjoyable, whether pea'ceful or upbeat.

Hi @Appleblossom, I too like the 'Day of the Dead' as a cultural tradition, much more meaningful to me than Halloween. Yesterday while doing my 'sugar skull' colouring over my three hours at the mental health centre, I was inspired by memories of my deceased father. By coincidence, I'd had him in my dreams the night before. It all seemed a bit mystical really, but it's not uncommon for me to feel in contact in some way with his spirit.

I didn't know you and your son both now have a diagnosis of bipolar. In my research about the condition, I've read many times that it often takes 10 to 20 years to get a proper diagnosis. This is partly because many of us only take ourselves to the doctors about it when depressed, and so are likely to first receive a clinical depression diagnosis, as was the case with me (along with the anxiety diagnosis too). I believe that being on anti-depressants without mood stabilisers for so many years contributed to and then maintained my big mania that lasted five years (with rapid cycling and mixed states as well). Are you taking bipolar-specific medications now (such as mood stabiliser and/or anti-psychotic)?

Good to hear you are feeling more familiar sometimes with people in the choirs. It certainly helps me with social anxiety to have built up some familiarity with people I am with. On the other hand, I can sometimes be friendly to total strangers and not worry about it too much, such as at bus stops and the like. But that's because I never have to see them again, so somehow they are not as threatening to me.

It makes sense to me that that concerts might be a positive way of expressing mania or hypomania. I feel the same way about my videos. You certainly are entitled to support and positive experiences, as we all are.

@eth, @Exoplanet, @CheerBear, @outlander, @Adge, @Sophia1 and everyone, may your day hold some precious moments.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita just a quickie in the hope I'll catch you. Going to read back posts now, but I'm here if you still are.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yep, still here, @eth.

Last night I had another invitation for one of videos to screen at an event, this time in the USA. Was just doing some correspondence and admin for that. Yesterday I also put together some notes on the next video project I want to work on, involving a collaborator and now friend who lives in a country town about an hour from here. May see him to talk more about it at the poetry event tonight, if I end up getting there. Glad to be feeling some growing inspiration towards making some more video, but keeping my health and wellbeing as the front and centre priority now. I've learned that much from my recent failed commission, so it may have even been worth it to clarify what it is I will and will not do in the future with these things.

How are you this morning? Any plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi also to @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @outlander @Sophia1 and anyone else floating this way this morning.

Thanks for the understanding @Mazarita @Bunniekins @Appleblossom about the situation with my mum. I've already reconciled with her twice after long periods of no contact and I just haven't got it in me yet this time around. The only way it works is if I frequently make myself stfu and let her be herself (leaving no room for my own self to be expressed), but I do still think she needs to look at her behaviour and recognize the consequences in some instances and this is a big one. I also don't always know how the kids' choices in parenting will work out, but if I didn't support them they'd not be in my life either. They are walking a new road that's for sure, but def not abusive.

I did get my bushwalk yesterday - starting with a hill that almost beat me, then a gentle wend back to the bottom. Saw a beautiful wallaby on this section with a russet body colour and black stripes on it's cheeks. And a kookaburra happy to be photographed close up. And huge koi (carp) in a billabong, and plenty of ducks. Then we drove to another part of the reserve and went to the wildlife enclosures where we saw many different birds, lizards, koalas, frogs, wombats and more and then lunch by a lake with lots of turtles and fish. All in all a great morning.

Quiet day at home for me today.

Hoping to catch up for live chat if anyone's still around. Hi also to @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @Dadcaringalone @Faith-and-Hope @PeppiPatty @Teej

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy well I think my 'slight meds' are doing something. It could all be in my mind .... I have a couple of t shirts I want to get into size small 14 which I love and I can fit into them at a pinch. If I find they get loose again then tht would make me a happy pea 🙂

Isn't it funny with bipolar how it reves you up in situations where you should be worried or concerned. I know with my son2 when I had the police here and ambos I was so agitated and almost on a high the feelings were so wrong concidering the circumstances. Bipolar is just weird.

Live poetry sounds so civilized. Enjoy it tonight 🙂 Love gp xxx

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