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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

NB @Appleblossom .....

Art night got cancelled by S2 after a 3hr stint of music practice ..... he was all “arted out”, and he was the one organising it to happen ..... so it’s deferred again ..... 😏 ..... but still set to happen.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Bunniekins the water was lovely and warm compared to the other 'heated' pools I've been to. Just what I was hoping for. And I didn't have to pay for the sw, she said she'll claim it back on tax.

Wondering what others have on today. @Mazarita hope you can be gentle with yourself but still get to art group.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I'm heading back to bed for some more sleep now. Enjoy the day.

Hi @Bunniekins, feeling you under the 'support' button. Hope you have lovely day too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazzy I missed all of this yesterday!!:o I am really happy that it turned out alright for you. I am missing postings at times gremlins at work at Sane Forums . Must have been so scary for you. Sorry I missed being there with you 😞 xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I have my bossy mother coming up today so hoping she can behave herself with daughter. I love her to bits but omg can she be alot to handle at times.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope it goes ok with your Mum today @Bunniekins Maybe talk with you daughter before then about having some boundaries and ways of not reacting to her. e.g. just saying that's interesting if she says something outrageous rather than reacting and debating with her. I've had to do this with my mum many times.

Having said that, I'm out of contact with mine the last few weeks since she suggested my adult child and their husband are doing child abuse by choosing not to reveal their new baby's gender. They aren't of course. They are devoted parents who are aware of what it's like to grow up with gender dysphoria as a result of being assigned a certain gender at birth. What they are doing is exercising their right to allow the baby to choose what they identify as when they are ready to. This has already worked with their older child, who has been chosing to 'use she words' since around 3 1/2 years old.

Nevertheless feeling guilty as Mum had a knee replacement done yesterday and I'm not able to support her at this time. I have no idea how I can return to my practice of not challenging her (she's 78) after this latest episode.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Ahhh I have felt awful guilt not being there for my mum when she has had varous operations but honestly we live in a different city. I have my own kids to look out for and my mum has a whole heap of friends and my sister to look out for her but she still manages to make me feel guilty nontheless. I will never do that to my kids that is for sure.

My daughter just calls her a 'cranky old woman' but I am sure it hurts.

Good on your adult child and partner expressing their rights as parents re gender. Some people will never get over it but as long as they are happy in their decision and their children are that is what matters.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for getting it @Bunniekins I just knew you would.

Sending you and your daughter strength and inner peace to get thru today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita

so sorry to hear about your heart symptoms.....great that you checked with a nurse on the phone...follow up leading to being checked out thoroughly in hospital..

ongoing checks in cardiology department a good thing to have in place...

I too went through something over a decade ago...

turned out to be start of panic attacks for me...after thorough testing...

the symptoms are so alike I was told to never assume just another panic attack ...always go to emergency department...if persisting...ringing the helpline is a good idea...

do you have ambulance cover?

well worth investing in if you do not already have...

@eth water exercises sound fascinating...great support worker got in the water with you

@CheerBear your asthma must be quite serious with all of that medication...good that they told you to take it seriously as well..which can be forgotten when so involved caring for others..

@Exoplanet what a journey...what a day...cheeky dogs still loveable even so..home to your fenced and gated property..

hello @Bunniekins@Appleblossom

sorry that is all that I can manage..

need to go now and get ready ...off to next town to meet up with younger son.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 Hi Sophia1 wishing you a beautiful day with your younger son xxxx

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