FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

14,411 - 14,420 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear. Thank you (and others) for sending kind messages.

It's the 'blue hour' here. The birds are especially musical this morning. Lovely to wake up to, even groggy and sleepy as I am. Took a prn last night (again) so am especially groggy and sleepy this morning. Even still, didn't get to sleep until getting on to 2am, unusual for me (this last half of this year). And now, as I'm writing, the birds have gone into their quiet time before waking again for more later. Gotta love birds.

Been thinking of you too and glad to read on the 'checking in' thread how things are going. Many hugs for you for another day. May it treat us both (and everyone) kindly today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So nice to see you @Mazarita 🙂 I'm really sorry to hear how 'meh' you've been feeling (sorry - good words are not my strong point this morning!).

I was up early (four something), though 'early' probably isn't the right word when waking at that time isn't unusual for me. I think maybe I say 'early' with the hope that one day I will sleep better and the fear that if I call it 'normal' it will be my normal for a long time. When I woke up it was drizzling and I could hear the sounds of a couple of birds braving the weather to watch the sunrise with me. As often happens, I thought of you and wondered what the sky looked and sounded like for you this morning. Now there are lots of birds about being very musical here also 😊

I hope the groggy settles and your day has something good in it. Mega hugs 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, thanks again.

I think words are a strong point with you at just about any time of day. They seem to convey a beautiful heart.

I have no plans for today, just hoping I don't continue to wallow in feeling sorry for myself as much as yesterday (and probably the day before). But if I do, well, I guess I'll accept that part of me too. Which makes it sound as though I accept lots about myself, which in some ways I maybe do, in others not at all. What I'm most looking forward to (as has been the case very much of late), is watching a couple of hours of Star Trek at 4.30.

Hoping there are some smiles in the day for you, despite all the tough stuff happening.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Warm fuzzies thanks @Mazarita ❤

Love that you have Star Trek to enjoy. Those simple things in life, that no matter how wonky the day is, are there to appreciate, make a difference (though simple and Star Trek don't work with my head that can not keep up or follow along with complex stories like Star Trek 😝). For me, my simple pleasure will probably be music today. We have a long car trip planned this evening and I am driving a very nice car at the moment with awesome speakers (and seat warmers - so fancy 😉!). I find listening to music to be an awesome escape 🙂

Better fly. So good to briefly catch you this morning.

Oodles of these ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks just for being here again this morning, @CheerBear. Love your way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone 👋💙

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @outlander 🙂 and hi to all👋

It's a bit quiet here this morning (or maybe it just feels like it because I've been up for too many hours already).

Hope your day is going well Outlander ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Dadcaringalone,

I received your recent message and call for advice in email notifications, but the post seems to have been taken down now. I think it may have been because you mentioned an actual medication name, rather than just use the generic term, 'mood stabiliser'. For better or worse, naming specific medications is against SANE forum guidelines, though posts like that do sometimes slip through. Please don't be discouraged if your post has been moderated. It happens to all of us at one time or another. In any case, I'm going to respond to what I read in email.

I've actually never been hospitalised for my condition. Part of the reason, I think, is that I actively sought private psychiatric care for myself when I became suicidal back in my late 20s. As you might remember from our discussion yesterday, I am now 56 and have not been actively suicidal since.

It sounds like your son is having a bad reaction to the mood stabiliser he has been given and really needs medical follow up on it. In the state where I live, Queensland, there is often follow up on patients after hospital via state community mental health services, who assign a 'case manager' to the patient. I would suggest getting him at the least to a GP about the rash, as it could be an indication of more serious medical health problems with the medication. That specific medication you mentioned is usually followed up with blood tests or other medical monitoring, especially at the onset of treatment. This is to make sure there are no serious liver complications from taking it. So, first things first, get him to a doctor.

Since you say his moods have not been stabilised, and he is as manic as ever, that may suggest the medication has not reached a therapeutic dosage. He really does need to be under the ongoing care of a psychiatrist, the medical doctors who specialise in medications. It's possible your son may also need anti-psychotic medication to assist stabilise his moods. Again, I would be talking to a GP about this, and about getting a referral to a private psychiatrist in your local area. I see no need for him to travel really for treatment, as there are many good private psychiatrists around and their treatment of your son would most likely be a lot more personalised and helpful than the psychiatrists in the public health system, who may be a lot more pressed for time and seeing many patients within a small window of the day.

In terms of his anger, you said on another thread that you were hiding in a room at one time recently for fear of him being violent to you. Has he been violent with family members in the past? If so, I tend to think you have no other choice than to call police and have him admitted to hospital again. It's not right that a caring family should be put in danger by a violent son, whether or not mental illness is involved. Given the extremity of what you are describing with him, it seems like hospital could be the best place for him at this time, for his own wellbeing too. I would only really consider the public health hospitals as crisis centres for times like this, rather than something to depend on for ongoing treatment. Again, I believe a private psychiatrist is the way to go for the long term.

In terms of him being worse than ever with his mania if he is weaned off his current mood stabilising medication, the likelihood is that he would be put onto a different mood stabiliser to replace the first, with possibly an anti-psychotic as well to help with further stabilisation. There may be a time of transition between the medications when he is more unstable than now, which may be another reason to have this done in hospital, rather than while he is roaming around in a very ill state.

Your son does sound very ill indeed and, from my understanding of things, your wife's attitude seems to indicate a huge amount of denial about what is going on with your son. Would it be possible for you to have a really good talk with her about it, and try to convey the rational reasons you are so concerned for your son's mental health? I'm not sure if you and your wife are together or separated from what you have written on the forum, or are living in the same house. How does she view your son's extreme behaviours? Is it possible you need to take the lead in caring for your son's mental health, including some decision-making about it? These are just questions, as I don't have a clear picture of your family situation.

All of this that I have written is based on my own experience with bipolar 1 over my lifetime, what I have come to understand of the condition through my own long term private psychiatric care, the many different experiences I have had with medications for the disorder, knowledge of friends with the same mental health problems, and three years of very active participation in discussions about bipolar on this forum. I am no expert, but I do have a fair bit of 'lived experience' of the condition.

Wishing you well with your break from caring for your son and hoping you are very soon refreshed and able to approach things with fresh eyes to take the next steps.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @Bunniekins

Mazarita, thanks for your excellent response to my questions. I’m going to have a very long discussion/ultimatum with my wife about my son’s mental health! I don’t see any other way to move forward apart from the private psychiatrist route as my son’s case worker is not helping and she’s believing the paranoid delusions of my son! Thanks for your kind support

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Dadcaringalone, you are very welcome. Talking with your wife sounds like a good move. If possible, I'd again suggest getting your son to a GP as soon as possible regarding the rash and medical tests for his physical reaction to the medication. While a psychiatrist is definitely the best person to advise on the best medications for your son, his GP will be the one who usually follows up with blood tests and the like. A GP referral will also be necessary in order for your son to see a private psychiatrist. If you have a particular psychiatrist in mind, you can ask the GP to write the referral to them. I really feel for your family situation and can sense the high anxiety it is provoking. Again, kindest wishes for smoother times ahead.

14,411 - 14,420 of 27,230