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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet, @outlander, @Bunniekins, @CheerBear, @Shaz51, @Teej, @Faith-and-Hope, @Dadcaringalone, @soul, @Sophia1, @saturnzoon, @Appleblossom, and everyone,

The past few weeks have been tough in my world. Yesterday's long, dark post was me at a real low point. But today I have found my 'try again' spirit. So, in a much better mood this afternoon, I wanted to share some of the good feelings with those I haven't talked to for a little while, or been able to respond to much, if at all, in my troubles recently. The only news I'm sharing really is some basic daily living achievements I've managed today. But, given where I've been at over the past few weeks (basically in bed most of the time, to escape either high anxiety, or from depression), today seems worth celebrating.

It wasn't until about midday that I started slowly moving with any kind of revived spirit. First small increment was brushing my teeth. I knew I wanted to have a shower, after not doing that for about ten days (!), but was still facing heavy resistance and wasn't able to get in there straight away. While struggling with this, I looked at the bed, which was also in a sorry state of uncleanliness. I decided if I stripped it, I'd have to change the bedding at some point today. I also realised that if I did that, I'd be more likely to have a shower, as I wouldn't want to lay my unclean body on clean sheets. So strip it I did.

That led me to giving the mattress and lambswool underlay a good going over with eucalyptus spray to freshen things up. Then I found myself going another step further and putting on a fresh sheet. That led to fresh pillow cases, and finally, the most demanding of the bedding tasks for me: getting a new doona cover on the doona. At each step I continued spraying eucalyptus until finally I had a beautifully made, fresh smelling bed!

Momentum had started flowing at this point and I got myself in the shower. I spent a long time in there, very thoroughly cleaning every part of myself, from top to toe and everywhere in between. I even exfoliated my skin all over with one of those fluffy brush things you can get for showers. By the time I was finished, I was a new woman.

With a clean bed and a clean me, my thoughts turned to the big basket of washing I'd accumulated over the past few weeks. So I kept on going!

In the past four hours, I've done five loads of washing and now have an empty basket and a full line. I've also tidied up the kitchen. In addition, I've made an appointment with my GP for Monday, to talk about the chest pains I was having yesterday (the nurse I spoke to about it on the government health line told me to do this). I've also filled out my little dates diary with various things I aim to do over the next few weeks, as it often helps motivate me to have things written there in black and white. I think I may have done some other things I can't remember now. Suffice to say, it's been a much better day, and I now feel more optimistic about tomorrow too.

So, leaving my epic post at this happy conclusion, I will now take my reward: two hours of watching Star Trek. Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Love and kind wishes to all, from a happier and once again more hopeful, Maz.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Thanks for your kind messages. My son promised that he’s going to make an appointment to see his GP for a blood test and discuss his rash. I suspect it’s his liver function because they were concerned about this while he was in hospital. I will wait for the private psychiatrist referral until I get my wife on side.

You have had a very productive day, good on you! Enjoy sleeping in clean sheets tonight and you definitely deserve your Star Trek treat! Have a great evening and keep truck’n

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Am so glad to hear it @Mazarita ..... 💜💐💕💜💐💕💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita

I started to smile as I read further into your post...

the smile widened as I continued to read...grinning by the end..

wow what a transformation...

all of that washing...

the freshly made bed sounding like a holiday resort with all the spraying of eucalyptus..

enjoy your Star Trek...

take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Dadcaringalone, great to hear your son has agreed to the GP appointment. Good to hear things may move forward with the private psychiatrist referral too, and that you will then discuss things further with your wife. Thanks for the encouragement of my very basic, but big for me, activities today. I will be enjoying sleeping tonight!

Thanks to you too, @Faith-and-Hope. Hope your art studies are continuing to be enjoyable and rewarding.

Hi @Sophia1, thanks for your smiles and grins. Glad to have given rise to those. My bedroom will feel like a resort compared to how it was before! Star Trek was very enjoyable, as always, even though I've seen just about every episode before. It's often a high point in my days. Hoping that your ongoing medical recovery is proceeding steadily, and that you are settling more and more into your new home.

My next TV interest for the night will be the second part of 'How Mad Are You?' on SBS at 8.30. I watched the first part last week and found it interesting. There's a special forum event talking with someone from the show here tonight at 9.30pm. Unfortunately, because I'm in Queensland where we don't have daylight savings, I'll have to miss the forum discussion, as I'll be watching the show itself at that time. Plan to read all the posts afterwards though. Looking forward to some interesting discussion.

Best wishes to all for enjoyable moments over the rest of this evening.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Mazarita

hoping to head over to the forum now have just finished watching the programme..have no idea if still going or not

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita @outlander

I watched both episodes of the series...

I found parts emotional

I won't say anything about the programme itself so that you can watch it..

can always talk about it after..

not sure how long the threads around the discussions stay open..

are they always there for comments?

Well I feel sad now....a build up of sad...I am learning to tell myself that it is ok for now...they are real feelings and it is ok to have them..

on that note I do not want to make either of you feel sad ...

hope that you continue to feel refreshed and can also get some sleep in your lovely exotic refreshed eucalyptic smelling bed...

@outlanderwe will just have to pretend...I do have some peppermint oil in the office I might dab some of that on a tissue...

hopefully it is not an essential oil that keeps you awake..

night night ladies...

nice to feel safe to chat on here again..

what a funny world it is..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodnight i hope you get some sleep tonight @Sophia1 ❤
Your not making me feel sad, i dont mind you expressing yourself. I didnt watch that mh show on sbs i started to but i was getting anxious just watching the start ao knew it wasnt the show for me to watch.
I hope you guys like/d it though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'VE GOT A FENCE! & REAL GATES!!!!

Oh Mazy @Mazarita I am beaming down an Enterprise sized bundle of love at warp factor 9!

My heads pretty befuzzled, I've had {I don't mean to be unappreciative or offensive} a bunch of strange men on my property for the past couple of days. I'm actually extremely impressed that the whole 20 acres was done in 2 days!!! I done nothing the past 2 days, I didn't even make the bed yesterday, I forgot to lock the shed & the van the other night. I've been waking up before my 6.30am alarm & not managing pumpkin hour. . . but it's soooooo worth it!!! 🙂 It'll take me a while to believe it's real. I took the puppies for their first off-lead walk around home since the nasty neighbour nabbed the Staffy, yesterday & he was soooo excited {that just upped my excitement even more :)} I have to do something with the gates as they have too big a gap underneath & he just went straight under them - but that's ok, my brains already coming up with ideas for that. I've got to bathe today {I couldn't tell you how many days it's been}, the dirts all fluffy around the fence line due to the tractor clearing the way & it makes for very dirty feet & lower legs - enough that they're gotten a nasty itch up. I actually did rinse them off the first night, but last night, by the time my head wound down enough to think of laying down, I just didn't have it in me to face cold water; besides that the little dog found something 'wonderful' last time we walked in the forest, so it's been a few days of a stinky little dog rolling around in my sheets . . . gotta change the bed too 😉

I'm going into my little town today. The day the fence contractor said they were coming out I was going to go into town for some butter, now I'll get bread & butter, & I've got a dvd to pick up from the library. I need to go into the bank to make the payment, I'm not confident enough to do it myself online - it's about 4 & 1/2 grand, I wouldn't want to make a mistake.

I know to many it's just a fence but to me it's a dream come true. I had saved for a fence many years ago, but my then husband wanted a computer & the way he did it was to buy one & give it to me as a birthday present - but it was with my money . . . & I wanted a fence. Well now I've got it, I've wanted this & waited about 18 years!!

Love to all that need or want it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Exoplanet. AWESOME that you have your fence now!!!!!

So happy to have followed through the long process for you this year of making it happen. Thanks for sharing your journey. CONGRATULATIONS on your step by step persistence with the frustrations of the process, and your own inner struggles with anxiety about things on many occasions. It's even more awesome to have achieved this now, given you have been wanting it for many years. I feel confident those gaps under the gates will be a problem solved before too long, with your ingenuity at work on them. Pinch yourself, my dear. It is REAL, and you really rock!

From one freshly showered friend to another, you and the dogs deserve a good soaking now, so you'll all be feeling as new as your new fence!

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