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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you my scotirish sister @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear. Felt you under the 'support' button. Here for a chat if you feel like it. Otherwise, hope this day treats you kindly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita - nice to see you here early too 🙂 I'm about to make a cuppa and see how the morning is looking outside.

How was last night for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, still dark here and rainy. Days of rain and some storms lately. It's quite soothing at the moment, though not very conducive to leaving home at the moment.

I'm still recovering from crashing out of the video project. I need to talk on the phone to the curator this weekend. She left me a very kind text after my email to her, but I still feel awful about having to speak to her in person. Once that's done (maybe Sunday), I might feel better about it all. Still feeling unstable with it at the moment, but glad for the peace and quiet of this time of day.

How are you going this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I remember the sky at this time of the year where you are-ish @Mazarita. It was often pretty spectacular.

Really sorry to hear about the way the project turned out. It's great that the curator left the message. I read your post imagining the anxiety that sending your email and then waiting to maybe ot maybe not receive a reply could cause. I hope the call goes well. Big giant love to you.

I'm going OK this morning thanks. I slept well again. It's a but strange that I am getting these good night sleeps sometimes (unexpected might be a better word) but I'll take them!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to hear you are getting some good sleep sometimes, @CheerBear, and that last night was one of those. Thanks for your kindness about my shaky ground at the moment.

I have no plans for today. What do you think you will be doing?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm taking the kids in to the hospital this morning @Mazarita. Littlest hasn't been in yet and all havent been in at the same time so I'm hoping they can be calm and chill visitors 🤞

* Had to edit out some details there about an escalator incident we were involved with as it might go further now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That trolley incident sounds bad, @CheerBear. They're lucky you aren't suing them. My elderly mum also had an incident on an escalator when she was looking after a couple of great niece/nephews. It banged her up at the time. She took the hit to save one of the kids. Escalators can be dangerous!

Hope the visit to the hospital goes well. Hope you get some time there again on your own too. Many hopes for the best outcome to everything there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That would have been very scary for your mum @Mazarita. I thought of how bad that could have been if it involved an older or less able bodied person. I've been told that I could take it further but as long as the issue that caused it is resolved so it doesn't happen again, which I trust it will be, and we hear a genuine apology, which I have had a fair few of, I'm OK to leave it.

Thanks for your support and wishes during the tricky time I'm having involving the unwell person.

I really hope there is some peace for you soon and your shaky ground settles. Often thinking of you, hoping you're being as kind to you as you can be ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'd probably leave the accident in the past too, @CheerBear, though I used to work in various legal jobs and know there would be a case. But what that legal work also showed me is how painful and stressful it is for people to go through legal proceedings, even when they 'win'. I would mostly avoid it like the plague. I think your attitude is probably more productive and positive in being able to move forward with life.

I really feel for you with what you are going through with unwell person. My dad died in 2003, at a very bad time for me too. The greatest blessing was that I made it to his bedside in time to have a wonderful final exchange between us. I'm so grateful for that good final memory of him.

With my own stuff at the moment, in which I'm having a stream of negative memories of various failures in my life, I have a kind of affirmation I'm repeating in my mind: 'I am more than my thoughts. My spirit guides me'.

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