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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Teej

I think that I get it?

it is a mine field if that is such a description ..

I have been searching for so long for support groups...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 nice to see you here 👋

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

Had rain here last night 🙂 It was heavy enough that I heard it over the show I was watching at the time 🙂 It didn't go all night or anything, but it was good rain. I took the puppies for a walk yesterday, but the day before, despite going into town & having all intentions of taking them in on the way back, I didn't. As I drove out of town a few wet drops fell, not enought to put the wipers on, & it wasn't those small drops that stopped me going in, it was the lightning; the sort of lightning that appears to do straight to the ground. I'm glad I decided not to go in as there were 2 loud claps of lightning just as I turned off the highway towards home, that made me jump out of my seat! Haven't had any destructive winds or storms here, but enough breeze & wet that it's nice & cool 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita and everyone here - I've been crying tears of joy. My kids announced their baby and their name to the world this morning!!! And shared photos. And I'll def get to see them next Tues and Wed. So excitement!!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's been a couple of weeks since I got the news that the video project I agreed to months ago, but which I hadn't received any instructions about since, was suddenly on again with a very short deadline to completion date.

Since then, it's been two weeks of round-the-clock worry and ever-increasing anxiety. I've been desperately scrambling to be calm and positive, and to put on a good face, about what was such a good opportunity to work with a highly regarded curator and arts organisation, to have my work seen in a significant venue, not to mention get paid for my work, a very rare thing.

But I have fallen back into bad habits of not showering or even washing, not leaving the flat, and going back to sleep multiple times every day in order to quell my feelings of panic. It's been a painful, miserable time, another big regression in my mental health. I've also been aching all over my body the whole time from the stress.

I have done a lot of hands-on work on the video at this stage, many hours of it, but I've been getting nowhere. Any creative inspiration I had has been frozen in fear. I have become completely blocked and immobilised in relation to this project.

After about the first week of this I found myself involuntarily drafting in my head an email in which I withdrew from the project. Last night, after another hellish day, I sent it.

It's a horrible outcome because the curator is someone I also consider a friend - of a kind that wanders in to your life occasionally for short brilliant bursts of time, and then is gone again. We've known each other for well over a decade and she has always been a special person to me. I feel terrible to have left her in the lurch for her show coming up in just a few weeks.

I haven't heard back from her in reply to my email and am guessing I probably won't. That's her way. It was her not answering my calls and texts asking about the progress of the project a couple of months ago that led to me thinking it had all fallen through. I know that this situation is really as much her manner of dealing with things as it is mine. But still it feels crap.

Having now withdrawn from the project, I feel at once relieved, and a failure. It's brought up so many memories of past similar failures, both in the regular workplace and in artistic pursuits. Almost all of them have been due to me cracking up under stress.

All my emotions are in a swirl and these past two weeks feel like a big setback in my life just now. But at least I'm free of this creative sickness now, and can move forward again in simple and ordinary matters of living, once I recover from the tunnel of torment I've just been through.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, I was drafting that last long post at the same time as you posted yours. Sometimes the synchronous timing doesn't work out so kindly. Sorry to have that rant follow your wonderful news. I am so happy for you having seen your new grandchild, and know their name now. Never having had children, I can only imagine how profound your experience would be right now, but I'm sure there's nothing else like it. Hope to catch up again when I'm in a better frame of mind to share your joy more fulsomely.

Hi @everyone, sending all good wishes. Have been glad to be reading and 'supporting' posts, but unable to speak here lately due to the stress of things with me. Looking forward to better catchups with all soon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Never having had children,, me too my scotirish sister @Mazarita, I have looked after lots and lots of children from the earliest age of 5 weeks old until some left when they were 14

sending you lots of hugs

and then for me to become stepmother to 4 children wow

Hello @eth, @Exoplanet, @outlander, @Sophia1

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

fabulous news for you...am elated with you as I know all others here will be too @eth

relish this special time...xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you @Mazarita

I found your post by chance...I hope you do not mind my responding to you..

That would have been extremely difficult to make the final decision to pull out...

I understand only too well how mind health can riddle our bodies with pain and torment our minds at times when we so desperately want to fit into the outside world...

You have been very strong in your action even though it probably feels the opposite as you mentioned the dreaded word "failure"...so easy for me to say that you have not failed at all...you have in fact had insight into what was best for you...at this moment in time of your life and what will serve you well in another new chapter of your life...

How do I know I am walking a similar path...such high expectations of self....I have been referred to as a racehorse on more than one occasion...push push push ...yet calmly tellings others to rest ...take care of themselves...

As I am telling myself these days just be ever so gentle with your soul...we only have the one....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling. Sending you all my support and warm hugs and hoping you can feel soon that you've done the right thing putting your health above all else. Sometimes we just have to. Feeling for you deeply.

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