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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone here ❤

Ive started a thread called share the dignity
I think.most of you will know what that is
Id love to write some lovely msgs to these women and it would be great to have your suggestions too
Only of your up for ot though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you for the well wishes.

Its been an incredibly busy week. Fixing the car will be painfully expensive, but has to be done. I am minimising dependence on it for a while, but still feel I should provide a car at some level for family.

I walked to train and went into Carlton to lunch with new friends yesterday, It was much warmer out then than today.

My lawyer called re Child Sexual Assault. It is a whole new ball game thinking in that way, but it puts a lot in perspective for me.

My GP was lovely and we were both glad that she activated the CATT team for me. Another doctor in the surgery was nice and called me by name. I see the pdoc tomorrow, a psychologist the day after and then CATT team will call again Fri night.

There have been 3 separate couples visiting in the CATT team and I went into the clinic and saw a consultant. Each one focussed on something different. All food for thought. Today my son went to an appointment which was probably a good thing. I dont need to know all his details, just that that he is getting some decent face to face contact and support that is not me. As mothers of sons can easliy do the Oedipal thing and I dont want that.

SO I do feel as if I am being heard in a constructive way. I step at a time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Warning: medical stuff.

After this morning's dentist appointment, I now have a big filled hole in my right back tooth on the bottom. It's the third time it's been refilled in about three years. The dentist said it would be best to pull out the old filling and replace it with a crown. But the public dentist doesn't do that, so it's more patch jobs, hopefully this one holds. The last one broke and left a gaping hole after me crunching on a corn flake. Lol. A cornflake is not that hard. Ah, but it's a relief to have a filled tooth, though there are four others with smaller holes in them. Today's appointment was an emergency once-off. My name hasn't come up again yet on the proper treatment list so the smaller holes have to wait. Mouth is sore tonight from the injection and from keeping my mouth cranked open for what seemed like ages. Does anyone else get a badly sore neck in those dental chairs?

Later today was my appointment with the surgeon. The examination wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it always makes me feel violated. She made an appointment for me with a gastroenterologist next week. She thinks I am having a Crohns flare up, and that it may need treatment. They want to do another scope under anaesthetic at the hospital and take a biopsy. Gulp, Crohns treatment. Having and being treated for this disease over my life has left mental and emotional scars. I was enjoying my relative remission, though even at the best of times, I have always had significant pain and other symptoms of disease since I first got this 37 years ago.

Feeling down and anxious tonight. Nothing planned for tomorrow except a beach walk. I may need to take it easy and recover from today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth. Wondering if you happen to be awake at this hour. Enjoy your sleep otherwise.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I'm here now if you still are. Good morning. I've been doodling around on YouTube since before your message and didn't see it til just now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry I missed you @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hya @Mazarita trust you've had more quality sleep since my last message. How are you today?

Just read your long post about all the medical and dental stuff yesterday. I feel for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, good to see you. Very tired this morning, but not as weirded out and worried as I was yesterday. Taking everything slow today. How are you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm ok thanks @Mazarita. Slept on and off from 7.30 last night til 3.30 this morning so just over 7 hours all up. That's great for me.

I hear you about the dental work. Before I got the full dentures I had a few years of constant dental problems and treatment. A lot of the damage and reason for loose teeth which eventually had to come out was from the assault in 2009. So every time I was in the chair I'd be dealing with PTSD whilst being worked on - simply awful.

And I'm sorry to hear about the Crohn's flare up and possible surgical treatment. That must be an ordeal for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, how awful with the experience you were having from dental treatment. It must be a relief to be free of that. Really, for me, the dental work was okay, if very uncomfortable. I just wouldn't recommend two of these kinds of appointments in one day. The one that really had me worried was the surgeon appointment. It brings up terrible memories of my earlier long ordeals for years with this illness, invasive tests, highly troublesome treatments, and specialists with harsh or cold 'bedside manners'. I've never met a gastroenterologist I really liked. To have them digging around in my body so intimately is pretty horrible. But on the other hand, the rational and reasonable part of me tells me I am doing the right thing by having my physical problems treated. I've had this increase of symptoms for three months now and it has been painful. It also may get worse if I do nothing about it.

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