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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hear the challenge that treatment represents @Mazarita. But it's good that you realize the need to heal the physical. It might even help your moods to be free of the increasing symptoms as well.

Quiet day at home for me. The first time I've had a PHaMs visit and no appointment to get to. We are going to spend the time doing the risk assessment, long overdue. Hopefully there'll be some time left over to go for a cafe hit as well.

Do you have plans or are you giving yourself a well deserved do nothing day - 'me time'?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yep, @eth, it's a day when I am dropping all expectations. Still in my nightie. May go for walk on the beach later, or not. Anything goes today.

Hope you get in your cafe hit today too.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

💜 @Mazarita ..... glad you're feeling a little more removed from it all this morning .....

Hi @eth .... 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, hope your day unfolds well. I am going offline for a while now to watch some telly. Will be back later no doubt.

@eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you have a lovely relax with it @Mazarita.

Have a dr apt with my D3 shortly. More health issues with her at the moment. All feeding into the same issue I suspect, but all I can do from here is walk along with it all.

Apart from that, a realively free day here ..... and hi from the coffee shop ..... 😊👋

@eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to you too @Faith-and-Hope

Catch you later perhaps @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi there @Mazarita

I was having a wander around and found your post from yesterday. Sounds like you had a tricky day with your appointments. Great job on getting through them and looking after your physical health too. The stuff I have going on presents what sound like similarly yucky challenges and has also left some pretty big emotional and physical scars. It's important to work through, but hard sometimes. Sending you big hugs for it.

I'm not sure if you remember but the other day when you, @eth and I were hanging out in the very early morning hours, I mentioned a sweet spring scent about. I went on a mission to find out what it was and discovered it was coming from a few flowers in the garden. I couldn't believe how fragrant they were so I went on another mission to work out what exactly these flowers are.

The flower is called 'stock'. You might know it but I didn't as I'm only really just starting to learn about gardening stuff. They're also known as gillflower or matthiola and they're unbelievably smelly (in a good way!). Anyway, no real reason to share other than to say hi and thinking of you 😊💗

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita

It's good that your relieved by your tooth being filled, it's shameful that it couldn't be tended to in the best manner.

What do they do for the flare-up of your Crohns?

My child, my Daughter, has been in a relationship for nearly 10 years now - in that time her partner has never been open with finances. She recently tried to get a loan for a car, as the one they have is old and has had many repairs, including a replacement motor and will not last much longer. Her partner has always depended on a work vehicle for transport, that has recently been taken away from him. She tried to get the loan solely in her name, she does not earn enough money. lt was suggested that her partner be included in the loan, when that happened it was instantly declined - he has been bankrupted in the past. He has a gambling problem. Although not a gambler I think my Daughter also has a problem with money. It's as if when she admits she's not good with money she seems to think that makes it better, but the only way I can see to make it better - is to get better with money. To make better decisions. I know I can't talk, that's what gets so frustrating. Like I can see what's happening but must remain mute to the facts. I can't help thinking if he is not being open about one thing, then what else is he not being open about? I can not imagine being able to continue love for someone who continues lies for me. I don't understand how she can rely on someone, and she does rely on him financially - when she has no idea what those finances are.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, thanks for the hugs. Sorry to hear you are going through something similar. Thanks too for the lovely flowers. Stock, I've heard of it before. What an odd name for a flower, hey? Always good to see you, friend, often thinking of you too.

Hi @Former-Member, the main medication they gave me for Crohns when I was younger (an anti-inflammatory), excacerbated my mood swings in a huge way. I was messed up badly for years by this. The other main option they tried makes me constantly nauseous. It's going to be tricky trying to work out if anything they can give me is going to be okay mixed with my psych meds. I'm hoping there might be some different, newer medication options these days, but without knowing, it feels like I may be re-entering a nightmare time of my life. I really feel I was traumatised by past experiences and am struggling with fear and dread about it all possibly starting up again. The only other treatments I've had for Crohns were two surgeries, removing a total of 70-80cm of small intestine.

Your situation with your daughter and her partner is difficult. I'm not sure I'm the best person to advise because I've never had children. If it was me, I imagine I would worry greatly too, but on the other hand, I might try to really keep in the forefront of my mind that my child and partner are adult people and need to be able to make their own decisions, for good or bad. For me, that might mean not always being completely available to bail them out. It's especially hard when gambling is involved. Both my parents were compulsive gamblers and it kept us on edge as a family for the whole time I lived at home (until I was 16). This may be an ongoing scenario with your daughter and partner and, as such, it does seem like you need to find some ways to find more acceptance and peace of mind for yourself with it. I wish I had better advice to offer you. At the least, know that I am hearing you and feeling for you and your daughter's family in this. Please chat more about it if you wish, rave if you like, anything that might help you release your anxieties and worries and perhaps make them less of a burden in your own head and heart. I will be here listening with love in my heart, streaming to you. Hugs!

Hi to everyone else wandering through. Hope the evening treats you well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, I'm awake, wondering if you are up already. Hoping of course that you got sleep instead. ox

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