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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just the dentist would be enough for me @Mazarita

Sorry to hear you may need surgery. Do you want to talk about why here? is it the colon thing we've talked about previously?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just dropping in to say hi on my way to bed .... had WH at the hospital again tonight .... contact dermatitis too painful to sleep.

Hope you can both doze off again .... don't think wild horses would keep me from dreamland now .... lol ....

G'night @Mazarita @eth ....; 😴💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, yes, we've discussed it a bit before, seems like a bit of a crohns flare in that sensitive region. Hopefully surgery not needed (yikes), but maybe some sort of procedure or other treatment to help with what is going on. This is the first appointment. It's to assess me for public hospital waiting list, if needed. Sounds like I could be waiting up to a year for any treatment after today anyway. Just the first step in the process.

I know you have the living beyond abuse course this morning. Anything happening after that today?

Edit: hi and nightie night, @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh dear @Faith-and-Hope. Hoping he recovers soon. Sweet dreams .

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

At least you're taking that first brave step @Mazarita. Hope the outcome is ok for you.

I don't plan anything for after the course coz I learnt by week 3 there's no point. I judt need time alone to think and rest and put to rest whatever's come up in the course. But after last week I'll definitely be waiting inside. Sometimes I feel like I've got a tatoo on my forehead that sys "have your dramatic explosions here" ! You may remember I witnessed a man abusing a woman as I waited for my lift home last week. Pushed all my buttons.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Stepping out for a quick ciggie @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Waiting inside sounds like a good move, @eth. Makes sense that you would need time to unpack and process afterwards too. Seems like hugs might be welcome for both of us by the end of today. I'm looking forward to my two appointments being over. May even splurge and catch a taxi home after the surgeon. I may be feeling a bit delicate I think.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I imagine you will be @Mazarita. And yes hugs will be in order. I'll be home by 2 and will look for you here. I thought I'd be missing this session because bro and sil are away, but the co-ordinator of the course is going to pick me up and bring me home. Above and beyond the call of duty. She is so supportive. Sometimes she rings me the day after and we talk at length which really helps. In a way I'll miss her but I'm glad there's only 2 sessions to go. It's doing the hard yards after many years being frozen. Good for me but also painful at times.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear that you feel that this course has released some of what may have frozen you, @eth. I kind of relate because of the deep dark stuff I talk about with my psychologist. It is freeing to speak of things we have held mostly inside for a long time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I think that once we're truly in a safe space we can bring up what's masked to survive. And I'm hopeful that the outcome will be beginning to thrive, not just survive. To respond rather than react to difficult situations. I've gone from freeze to flight but would like to find a bit of the fight response again. I don't mean physically fight, but mentally/emotionally push back at the circumstances that trigger me. Not lose myself in reaction. Hope this makes sense.

Of course, in an ideal world, none of those f words would be necessary, but, as I've learned a few times over the last few months, crap can happen anywhere at any time. I want to be able to choose my response, not react instantly. Well over most of my life really, but examples of witnessed events recently come to mind as I write. e.g. vicious fight in the veggie section at Coles the first (and last) time I went in there alone. Just got auto editted for using a word about that fight!

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