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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i really wish i could run from me @Appleblossom it would make life alot easier

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej, glad to hear you got a solid sleep too. Thinking of you having a coffee in the sun gave me a smile. Hugs to you.

Hi @Owlunar, thought I'd tag you in here so I don't go off topic in the Highlight of Your Day thread. It seems like I haven't seen you for ages. How are you?

I've just got home from being out and about on the buses, and on foot, first to the psychologist and then straight afterwards to visit my friend for afternoon coffee and chat. Walked home from her place along the beach. Psychologist session (number three) was again great. What a contrast it is to previous psychologists I've seen. I actually look forward to seeing this wonderful woman. We have a great rapport and even have had a good laugh about some things together in each of the sessions so far. How therapeutic is that?!

Now I'm back home again and having to face the me I am alone. A theme of the psychologist session today: learning to love ourselves. That marriage with ourselves is something we will, after all, be living with for the rest of our days. If it's possible to find love and compassion for ourselves, as well as for others, we will have a better time of it.

Hi @outlander, @eth, @Appleblossom, @CheerBear, @Former-Member and @everyone, wondering how your day is unfolding. Well, I hope.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita so good to hear you've found a psychologist who's really working for you. Mine is great too. It makes so much difference. Feels like real progress, not just avoidance of crisis and stuck in a holding pattern like the ones I've seen over the last few years.

Hi @outlander hope you're doing ok tonight.

I didn't do the writing I wanted to do today, just couldn't get into it. Studied til after 2pm from early morning then did some gardening and cooked stuffed mushrooms. Felt like a self-care afternoon.

Tomorrow's the living beyond abuse course which often leaves me flat at the least, but overall I'm really glad I've done it. Only 1 more week. I think the education focus will really help break the cycle in my life and mean I see red flags well in advance.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, a self care afternoon sounds worthwhile and kind to yourself. It seems like you've been doing a lot lately! It also reminds me of a book I read once about creativity. It included in its 'conditions needed for creativity to occur' section... doing nothing. Sounds counterproductive, but we need times to process what we've been doing. I find it hard to take these times with my video stuff, really would rather be on a project constantly, working towards completion. But there are times, I know, where I just have to accept that the energy is not right for it, and that I may need some time out to let what I've been doing filter down in my mind and intuitive understanding. Wonder if this makes sense. I have thought a fair bit over time about creative process. I find it fascinating really. Sounds like you did a lot of study today anyway. For some reason I'm sort of glad the living beyond abuse course is coming to an end for you. I guess it's because the subject is so gruelling. It's good to hear that you have found it helpful.

Well, I'm out again tonight, friend visit again. We see each other so much at the moment, we could almost be sharing a flat or house. She does live very close and I'm grateful to have this villagey proximity to my close friend. The flat she is in has been sold and she may not be in this area for a long time, so we are making the most of how easy it is to see each other while it lasts.

Will probably be back online later tonight.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita 🙂

So glad you had another great appointment with your psychologist today! I find laughing so incredibly therapeutic 😄 Yay for you 🙂

I really liked hearing your thoughts about loving ourselves. It reminds me of the idea of talking to ourselves the way we would talk to a friend. It's something I struggle with sometimes (I think lots of us do), but it is a really valid point. Being just a tiny bit less harsh on ourselves really could make a difference.

I hope your night is going well. So nice to hear you're out and about 🙂

Hi to @Appleblossom also. I missed replying to your tag yesterday (I think it was yesterday, time is funny sometimes!). I hope things have been ok for you today.

Waving to all (ravers - lol) here 👋😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita are you up for a chat?

I agree wholeheartedly about needing space from the drive to create sometimes. I like the way you've worded it. Sounds like you had a pretty busy day so you're probably sleeping, but if not I'm here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, amazing timing again. Just woke up and came on here for a bit. Will try to go back to sleep soon, but for now I'm here too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I might sleep more too @Mazarita but at the moment I'm feeling ready to start my day ... have slept since 7.30 last night minus about 1/2 hr total awake - so that's around 7 1/2 hrs - still more that my recent average.

It's interesting how often we wake at nearly the same time

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, yes, it is interesting that we seem so in synch with the waking times in the night! Nice going on the sleep overnight. I have only had 3-4 hours. Need more because today is a big day: dentist in the morning, surgeon (including 'examination') straight afterwards. Bussing places in between. Can't say I'm looking forward to the surgeon examination especially.

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