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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wish I could hear it @Mazarita and share the sounds of the birds here with you. I'm often surprised thinking that some of these sounds seem like they belong in rainforests rather than where we are. Maybe the relief that comes with the sunrise ending what are often painfully long nights, is one of the reasons I enjoy the mornings so much.

Breaking that pattern might take some time as you said, especially if its been something you've done for a while. It would be especially hard on days like today when you have had a really dodgy night.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs for your difficult sleeps too, @CheerBear. The up side is that you get to see the dawn on so many mornings, something that I imagine brings greater feelings of connection to the cycles of life.

Yesterday I didn't make it to women's group. But I did some even better things in the afternoon: caught the bus to the local village shops, lunched at my favourite pie shop, wandered around the op shops there and found a nice summery top for five dollars. Then I walked home along the beach. Probably walked about 2.5 kilometres. My dodgy feet gave me a little grief. But I'm glad to be getting out on the beach more regardless.

How was your yesterday? Plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh wow @Mazarita that sounds great yesterday! I wanted to ask about group and your day yesterday but had a feeling you didn't get there. So great that you ended up doing better things. Big smile reading that 🙂

I had a good day yesterday for the most part thanks. I felt awake and on top of things and got quite a bit done. My day took a sad turn when I had a phone call from unwell person to let me know the radiation therapy hadn't worked as well as hoped (it hasn't worked much at all). They now face a long and difficult surgery and very long recovery with a good outcome being that they will walk ok-ish again. They're in pretty good spirits, though I have a feeling that was also a bit of a mask they had on to make the call to myself and siblings. It could have been better news but it definitely could have been worse.

Today I have an appointment with my new mental health worker and the a counselling appointment, then we have some big and little people coming over tonigh, probably for tea which will be good.

How about yourself?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is hard news that the radiation therapy hasn't worked well for your person, @CheerBear. Good to hear there are other options, and that these will involve being able to walk again. But a difficult surgery and long recovery sounds daunting. Wishing all of you the very best with the process.

Hope there is some good relaxing time for you today, around the new mental health worker meet, and the counselling. Do you enjoy your counselling sessions? How will the mental health worker help you?

I have a quiet day here, but plan to do washing, some more housework (did some yesterday too), and some admin on video stuff that's happening. During the two months of deep depression, good things were nonetheless happening in terms of future screenings of my videos already completed. I had more good news on that in the middle of this night. But it means providing some written and visual material for these things to happen, which I will be attending to today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita (I have a new phone and it's still learning forum friends names. It likes to try and call you margherita and just tried to write malaria - oh dear!).

I've only been to counselling a few times so far. It's with a sexual assault service so it's scary feeling in its nature. But I think it's going to be good in the long run. Its frustrating now as I want to just get over it all but apparently we can't just make ourselves do that 😉 The counsellor I see is cool. She's a nice balance of kind of tough but friendly and warm. I have no idea how my MH worker can help as we've just started working together and are off to a little bit of a rocky start. She asked me to look into some volunteer stuff so we'll probably look at that today. I'd like to make some goals so I'll also talk to her about that today.

That's great to hear that good things were happening with your videos. How do you feel about that and the need attend to some of those things for it? I can see in some ways that could feel really exciting but in another way maybe a little overwhelming too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I prefer Margherita to Malaria, @CheerBear.

I can see how the counselling might be very challenging. Great that you like the counsellor though. Is volunteering something you really want to do? Seems to me like you already have a decent sized job caring for the LFs, and for your self at this time. When I was with Phams, it was pretty much standard for them to push the idea of volunteering to everyone. I tried doing it but only lasted three shifts before crashing out, just as I have done in pretty much every job I've ever had. It didn't really leave me with a good feeling afterwards, just confirmed my sense of limitation really. And I was too embarrassed to go back to that place afterwards, which was a shame, as I used to go there a lot prior to this. I guess what I'm saying is that you are in charge and it would be good not to be pressured into that if you don't feel it would help at this time. On the other hand, if it's something you want to do, that's great and could be very rewarding.

I feel good about the videos getting screened internationally, and I'm used to preparing documentation for these things. It felt less than possible to do much of it while I was in the deep depression. But now that I'm coming out of it, I'm glad to be putting my toes back in the video-making waters in this way.

Well, the sky is light now and the chorusing birds are taking a bit of time out. I'll head back to bed now that the prn has relaxed my body a little. Look forward to catching you next time. Have a lovely day, my friend. Hugs!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha @Mazarita, as I intentionally click the button that will teach my phone who you are!

Thank you for sharing your experience with volunteering and with phams, though really sorry to hear it worked out that way for you. The rocky start we are having has in part to do with exactly that - the pushing. I want to do lots of things, the biggest and most important to me outside of the family, being finishing my degree. I can't do it right now and it hurts a lot. A step towards it would be some kind of something like volunteer stuff but if it isn't something that's going to give me a real sense of meaning and purpose, I can see that it may really sting. I have to work at shifting my mindset (which is really stuck in all the things I used to be able to do as well as fear of what might happen one day) a bit more and maybe then I will be able to be OK with this one. I dont know. I could also spend my days in search of a magic wand for us all too - that could feel good 😉😁

Sometimes it feels like I'm not doing enough and not getting anywhere at all, but I am really trying and I have taken some big steps and made decent progress in a way, especially since leaving the break place a couple of months ago. Feeling supported and encouraged along the way helps. Feeling pushed, like I did last time I saw my MH, really doesn't help. In writing and chatting this out this morning, I can see that's behind some of the off feelings I've had since seeing her last. That will help a lot today when I see her, thank you.

Really great again about the videos. So happy that things are hopefully shifting in a way you'd like them to Mazarita.

Hope your day goes well. So good to catch you again this morning ❤

And more of these ❤ for all here this morning as I head off to start the day properly also. @eth great to read about your support worker and the steps you're taking too. Really happy for you, go you 🙂

👋☕😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita and @CheerBear I was awake a couple of times while you were chatting and nearly turned the computer on - wishing I had now.

Maz I hope you're getting some deeper sleep now and feel more refreshed next time you wake up. Great news about more video screenings. And that you're getting out more than you did for quite some time. You seem to be in much better spirits and progressing steadily.

CB I hope your day is going well so far. I hear you about support people pushing us versus encouraging us. Maybe you can write down your goals in baby steps (before you see your MH worker) and then try to put them in order of priority. And then show the MH worker what you've written. And maybe even tell them that you're just not ready for volunteer work yet, but still want more support with community engagement i.e. groups, classes etc (if that is what you want). You have the right to have choice and control over what goals you set and what path you choose. It's ok to not be ready for 'work readiness assessment' which it sound like the worker might be doing. Especially if you only recently got your DSP. Hopefully what I've said is appropriate to your situation and desires.

Hello to anyone else around this morning

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth 🙂

Thanks for your understanding and support. They're great suggestions. I think my MH worker and I need to revisit goals as she seemed to be going off ones I set with my old MH worker at the start of last year. Things are different now in lots of ways. Crossing fingers today goes well because I really didn't feel great after the last time we met.

How are you this morning? Anything on for you today?

It's a sensationally beautiful morning here. I didn't wear a jacket or jumper on our walk to school today. It feels like months since I've been able to do that with the wintery weather. It's already close to 20 with a bit of a breeze and lots of sun - close to perfect for me so I'm sneaking in some sunshine before my appointments start soon 🌞🌈😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear I hope your appointments go really well today and you are able to get clear on current goals with the MH worker. Glad my suggestions might help with that.

I'm ok this morning - so far it looks like catching up on washing, planting out basil seedlings and maybe getting on the exercise bike and having a shower. Plus I'm cooking for 3 tonight. I think I'll do potato and leek soup with gremolata and seeded bread rolls. I was going to do a frittata but sil did a spinach and fetta one last night and it's too similar.

It's a beautiful day here too - proper spring weather. My sweet peas have started to flower.

Hi to you too @Exoplanet

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