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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 hope you're feeling well today and not working too hard.

@saturnzoon I hear you about not getting out independently - it's that way for me too. I'm glad your son supports you. I'm very sorry to hear you've lost supports because of NDIS taking over - I really hope your review goes in your favour. You can probably get a Disability Advocate (they're in every state, google them) which I found really helpful. @Bunniekins's suggestion might be a possibility for you too. When I was isolated with no supports up north I found a social worker through community health who was really helpful.

Hi @Appleblossom @outlander @Exoplanet @Sophia1 @Former-Member @PeppiPatty @Faith-and-Hope @Teej hope today is going well for you all.

@Bunniekins very nice to hear you are getting some support to get out more.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending love your way @Shaz51 You're a real hero the way you care for others with all your health problems too. Hope you get some quiet days for yourself before your mum needs you again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @eth xx

we have a big family and they all know what is best soo it is a bit hard which way to go xx

how was you day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've had a good day thanks @Shaz51. Mostly quiet but I gave sil's mum next door a massage for a bit over an hour - feeling good about that. She told me she's in less pain since I did it - she has advanced osteo arthritis so it's nice to be able to help and it's good for me doing it too - stamina and self-esteem building.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

how lovely @eth

yes my MIL is in a lot of pain with her osteo prosis and the diagnosis is she will have an ached back in the futher xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 osteoporosis is very different - it means low mineral density in the bones and leads to brittle bones that break easily. I have early stages of it in a few areas and take supplements for it. People with advanced osteoporosis can only have very gentle massage. Totally different massage style from that for osteoarthritis that I did today. But a qualified therapist would know how to get it right.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes my MIL has osteoporosisplus something else @eth poor darling xxxx ohhh sending you tender hugs @eth xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone. A night of raggedy sleep here. Not long after 4am, this is my fifth wake up since going to bed last night. Feeling exasperated with it. The quality of sleep in these short snatches has not been good this night. I've now taken a prn muscle relaxant to try to ease the tightness of my body. And while I'm waiting for it to help, I thought I'd take some time here writing to friends.

@eth, lovely to read your post from yesterday. Really glad to hear your Sunday meeting with your care worker went so well. Sounds like she has hit the ground running with you. How lovely to take a ferry ride, have a coffee in the park over chat. When I lived in Sydney for about a year, decades ago, my boyfriend and I used to take many a ferry ride, just for the pleasure of it. So lovely to be out on the water, and affordable because it was public transport. Fond memories of days and nights on the harbour. So cool that you feel a good connection with her, though sorry there was a trigger in the trip. Good to hear she was reassuring about that. A very promising start it seems. Also great to hear about you giving sil's mother a massage. Drawing on your long experience and skill in that area to help one of your family crew. I imagine how rewarding it would have been for you and her both. Stamina and self esteem coming your way, relief from pain for her. How lucky they are to have a masseur in the home!

@Shaz51, it's not surprising you would be stressed with all that is going on around you. From my point of view, you carry a heavy load of caring for others, work and ill health. I hope you are able to take care of yourself and not always prioritise everyone else ahead of yourself. I once saw the Dalai Lama speak to a large audience. He talked about compassion for all, but stressed that we must not forget about compassion for ourselves in equal measure. I wonder if it's worth talking to your GP about the difficulty of things. I also wonder if there is any kind of community organisation that might be able to offer some support, even maybe some support to be found through your church community? I am thinking of you, dear scotirish sister, and hoping there is a reprieve in the demands on you at some time soon.

@CheerBear, wonder if you are awake yet. That solitary early bird that has been around lately is calling to the dawn again, though the sky is still dark. If I miss you this morning, sending love and good wishes for your day.

@everyone, hope you wake refreshed and that the coming day flows smoothly for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita. Sorry to hear how tricky your night has been. Nights like that are long and rough. Big hugs.

I have been awake for a little while but am still in bed, though once I press post I will get up and head for the kettle and then to my coffee spot to watch the sunrise. Nice to hear about your bird friend. Do you know what type of bird it is?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear, and good to see you again this morning.

I wish I knew what bird it is that calls these mornings. Its music is two notes together, and then a pause, then another two notes, repeated. Not sure how I could find out the species of bird but I love to hear it anyway. I've got the door open here so I can hear it, and the other sounds of the word starting to wake up. They are much less romantic, being occasional trucks on the highway and a generally slowly increasing hum of traffic. Soon the sky will start to lighten, which will be a relief after this aggravating night. I always sleep better after daybreak. My long habit of staying up all night in the past may be part of the reason for this. Trying to change that pattern, but it isn't easy to rewire years and years of it. Still, I shall persist, in the interests of better health and wellbeing in the long run.

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