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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Also : First nation peoples from many places have lots of names for the moon in it's different phases. e.g. Aboriginal here, Native American, Mayan, and many more.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh my @eth. That is a lot to have been through in so many ways. I'm so sorry to hear you experienced it all. Did father of child have much involvement in their life? (Again, only if you're ok to talk about it).

Yep, three for me. As much as they can be a handful at times, they're my everything.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Noticed you up again also @Mazarita 😊

👋☕❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, @CheerBear, C and I woke up and went out to the courtyard again. Early morning light and bird calls but the moon has descended too far to see here. Nice to be out looking at the sky in the morning though. Glad you both got a view of the blood moon.

Hi @Former-Member, cool that you are here too this morning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes he was involved @CheerBear Sometimes too much for me but I couldn't deny them a relationship with him. Just after they were born he moved to live around the corner from me and we were both involved in a Rudolf Steiner community. He was a power tripper and we had many extreme battles but eventually came to an agreement that we wouldn't try to negotiate anything in front of child. Only by telephone after they were asleep. But there are many stories I could tell - too many for here. At one stage he 'stole' child for 5 months and ripped off the trust fund set up when I got a settlement from the doctor that caused the prematurity.

I don't know much of your story either but had the impression you had to move to get away from your children's father. Might be completely wrong about that. Is he involved in your life with them? - If you want to talk about it ...

Good morning @Mazarita spotted your likes - how are you this morning? Did you catch any of the moon event?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap @Mazarita!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, read about what you have related about your experiences with child's father. Hugs for what you went through.

@CheerBear, hugs to you too for no other reason than... hugs!

Heading back to bed now. Cool to see you this morning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lovely to imagine you and C together sky watching also @Mazarita 😊 The moon has been hiding behind big gum trees for a little while here. Now it's lots of birds (including more roosters) and insects. I think I can hear frogs too. I love mornings here.

@eth, again so sorry you went through it all. That power is not right or fair, and it happens far too often. Yep you are right with the move. My crew and I left for safety a little while ago. Over the course of a couple of days, life went from our normal to something completely different and it won't be the same again. My kids went to school one day and they never went back there again etc. It's why I'm a bit bananas sometimes (all the time lol).

Wish I could share the sounds here with you both this morning. It's so nice ☺

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita How are you this morning? 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've had more than one relationship involving DV @CheerBear so I feel you on that. We had to move suddenly like that several times so I get it. But it must be harder with a few kids than it was with one. Last year I did a course at the local women's centre for women who'd suffered CSA, family or domestic violence and it's helped me see the cycles of behaviour involved and forgive myself for having been there in the first place and put my child through it. Both adult child and I have complex PTSD that we are still in therapy for.

So sorry to hear it's part of your story too. I think you're amazingly strong for your kids and good at self-care too. I self-medicated for decades (I'm 55 now) until I was diagnosed bipolar and realised I was making it worse (at age 46).

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