FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

11,871 - 11,880 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's time for me to crawl onto a lily pad and get some sleep....so have a great day everyone. Do something kind for yourself 🙂

warmest, Frog

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's really good to hear that your course helped you @eth and that you were able to forgive yourself. It's such a horrible thing with the way it can get you from outside and in too. I'm sorry to hear that you and child live with the impact of it all still, though I get why that may be. It's toxic.

I had left the relationship, and was studying and working (in a way) in the field. I feel angry because it happened even though I had gone through the process of leaving, educating myself on what it was, putting all the 'right' things in place, working on healing and moving beyond surviving it, and getting on with my life happily. I think that part of it has done big damage. I have huge difficulties in experiencing the response from systems (police/legal/family violence/housing/mental health/cps etc) that I know could have (arguably should have) responded, and still respond as our challenges continue, differently sometimes. One day I'll be able to use this story for good though and that thought helps to keep me going.

I can imagine how hard it might have been to live without having the right support or treatment until 46. I am so glad for you that it looks like you'll be able to receive the right support for you through the NDIS. You do inspire me there eth and I'm really excited about what may come from it all for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hear you about the 'systems' @CheerBear.

Content warning : the legal stuff.

It was really hard for me to believe the police in particular were there to help me as I'd been taken to hospital as an involuntary MH inpatient by them several times prior in my life. But the last relationship I was in where it happened I did press charges (or rather the police did) which resulted in a court case for over 2 years where he eventually pled guilty to a lesser charge and I accepted it just to avoid being put on the stand to give details about my affidavit. I was terrified they'd use my MH against me. So he ended up getting a 4 month suspended sentence and a 12 month behaviour bond for what was actually greivous bodily harm with intent. He should have done gaol time and then been deported but none of that happened. I also never got a chance to do a victim impact statement. And by the time I contacted the Victims of Crime people they said I was outside the time limit. If it happened in the state where you live you can get prolonged counselling and even a financial compensation from VoC if you go down that path.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Again @eth, I am so sorry to hear. I can only imagine the horror of what you went through and then how much you experienced in the time following it. There's so much I want to say in response, but can't. I definitely hear you, get it as much as it can be got, and feel with you. I really appreciate you sharing what you have with me this morning, thank you. It's been really cool to get to know you a little better ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @CheerBear I'm sorry if I over shared. I really feel for you and am here for support any time you feel the need. I understand not feeling you can talk more about this topic. There are times when it's not healthy to go into the past too much as there's a risk of reliving events. Sorry if I crossed that line. I'm about to start doing EMDR therapy with the psychologist I've been seeing for a year doing a trauma map. It's meant to be strongly indicated as a successful treatment for PTSD.

Weekly sessions with her for a year are part of my NDIS funding. Otherwise it would just be the 10 under the mental health care plan which isn't enough to make real progress. If your reports state that you have exhausted the mainstream supports available and need more there's a chance you can get psychology funded.

I'm glad we've got to know each other a bit better too. I imagine your day with your kids will start soon and hope you have a nice morning with them. Thanks for asking about my story - it can overwhelm some people and I hope it hasn't done that for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You didn't overshare with me @eth and my line wasn't crossed, but thank you for checking in there. I totally appreciate that you have written openly and in such a helpful way. I feel sad sometimes that I can't share what I want to also. My situation isn't over and I have to be really careful with how much I do post about what has and is happening. It sucks lots. My heart hurts for all those who have lived with the damage it causes, but I see strength and determination shine too. I see lots of that with you.

Thanks for the info re the therapy. I really hope EMDR works well for you and am interested in hearing how you get on with it. I really need more than mainstream supports so I'm hoping very much that the NDIS comes through for me. I have worked hard to give myself the best chance at it and have been well supported with my team to do it. Now fingers are crossed.

Thanks for your support eth. Here for you also, with bucketloads of empathy for the challenges past and current.

I have one little, a couple of bigger ones and the cutest puppy up and bouncing around at the moment, so I might head off and say hi to them properly.

❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @outlander@Shaz51 @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @Sophia1 and to you again @CheerBear and to anyone else around this morning.

Went back to sleep for a while and have woken to a cold and cloudy day. After such a long run of clear days its a real shame it clouded over early this morning while the lunar eclipse was happening. We only saw it here until it was about 1/2 eclipsed. Did anyone else see all of it?

Hope today is starting well for everybody.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey everyone 👋

Looks like it's been quiet here today. @eth how was the rest of your day?

@Mazarita - thinking you had an appt with psychiatrist from memory. Hoping it went well.

Hi to anyone else reading and hoping the day has been a good one for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear, thanks for the callout.

Home from the psychiatrist appointment. From tonight I start by dividing my anti-psychotic medication in half and reducing the dose that way. After that, I am to decide for myself whether I want to go off it altogether after a week or two, or whether to remain on the half dose (considered a sub-clinical dose). So I'll see how I'm going in a week and take it from there. I see him in another five weeks.

How's your day been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great you have worked out a plan with your medication change @Mazarita. Are you hoping/expecting to feel and be less sleepy than you have been? Hopefully you notice some improvement in whatever way you need with the reduced dose.

My day has been good thanks. I am being bombarded with all things ABBA by one of mine who has fallen in love 😆 It's kind of sweet and their happiness when singing and dancing is a bit contagious today. Aside from that I have spent the day with unwell one and their person, which has been OK ☺
11,871 - 11,880 of 27,230