FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

11,851 - 11,860 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There are no clouds right now here @eth and I have a very clear view of a very orange looking moon with a slither of light left at the bottom. It's pretty impressive! I'm not where I would usually be this morning and like where you are, there is a very early bird riser in a rooster in the distance who has been awake since before me. Sounds nice where you are, even if you can't see the moon so well.

Is SIL usually awake at this time? Here it's just myself and my distant rooster friend awake ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No @CheerBear she's usually tucked up about now. But we both set our alarms for 4.30 this morning. It sounds so beautiful where you are. Great that there are no clouds for you. I'm often up around now but usually go back to bed without having turned the computer on.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I wonder how many people are up and braving the early winter morning to look at the sky today. It's a nice feeling to imagine so many people from all over the place, connected in a way in this moment.

I'm often up at this hour also. If I was still asleep right now, I'd consider it at sleep in. It is beautiful here. Very quiet, very open and it's not the icy cold or wet and frosty that we so often have at this time of the year.

Will you head back to bed this morning or are you up for good now?

@eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Undecided about bed @CheerBear but will be here for at least a bit longer. Yes I was thinking about the millions of people watching the same moon at the same time from all corners of the earth too.

When I had a child to raise I used to get up about 2 hours before them too - it was my 'me time' in a very hectic life. My now adult child is legally blind so everything used to take us longer than most people - I used to figure in an extra 20 minutes at least for every hour's worth of tasks. And we had loads of early childhood 'interventions' - royal blind society, guide dogs, special ed. and more. So that ate into our day as well.

It's a beautiful time of day to be enjoying a cuppa in peace, especially if you can do it outdoors. Self-care for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear@eth

That is a lovely thought, that all of us awake and looking at that blood moon this morning are connected by a lunar event 🙂

I'm looking out the window at it too, although now the eclipse is complete and it's harder to see. Wonder why it's red?

A light reflection from the sun I guess.

Wonder what traditional peoples thought about the blood moon eclipses? Could have been quite dramatic for them!

There are some benefits to early rising I guess Cheer Bear but...you may need a nap this arvo 🙂

warm wishes,

Frog

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I feel the same kind of way, with early starts @eth 😊 It's peaceful, still, quiet time. The mornings often feel more filled with hope than the end of the day for me also.

I can imagine how you would have had lots of extra challenges with raising your child. I don't know too much about your 'story'. We're you a single parent when child was younger? (Only if its OK with you to share)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Former-Member ☺

I hadn't considered what people may have thought about events like an eclipse in the past. I too can imagine it may have been quite dramatic, maybe frightening even.

I don't know why the moon is red, though I have a feeling @eth may better understand it. My head can't make sense of anything to do with space. I think I'm struck with how enormous it is in so many ways, that I lose all thinking power and go into lala land a bit 😉

Hope you're enjoying your early morning/late night from inside wherever you are ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes I was @CheerBear. I went to visit my parents up north when 5 months pregnant and the week I came back to have talks with the father about still doing a home birth together he went to a conference and came back with a new woman. I had foolishly imagined we'd fall in love again at the birth. 2 weeks later my membrane was ruptured by a Dr doing a pap smear and cut a long story short I had my baby at 26 weeks and that's why they're vision impaired ( several surgeries). So there we were in neonatal intensive care with the new woman and her fancy camera allowed to come in as his support person. Hard times. I did have a few relationships over their childhood, but none for longer than 3 years. No-one that remained a step-father figure for them.

Yes it was challenging much of the time, but I can only imagine what it's like to raise more than one child - am I right that you have 3?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear @Former-Member

Lunar eclipse. A lunar eclipse occurs when the Moonpasses directly behind Earth and into its shadow. ... The only light reflected from the lunar surface has been refracted by Earth's atmosphere. This light appears reddish for the same reason that a sunset or sunrise does: the Rayleigh scattering of bluer light.
11,851 - 11,860 of 27,230