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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@everyone, I am going back to bed for a while now. Hope to catch some of you later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the reminder @Mazarita - my life is taking all my energy atm, none left to spare on Mum's shenanigans. Hope you sleep well and have an enjoyable day when you rise.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Bunniekins

I was hoping so much that you were able to connect with son 1...whats app is too advanced for me laugh...however if it happens it happens is the main thing..

I will still try to get close ups of my cows next door when they are next to the fenceline..then he will see their beautiful faces close up...you can tell him that a couple of times when I have come home and walked to the front door they have mooed...how lovely is that .....

I will try to get a video...

does he like donkeys? I have a close up of donkeys from the donkey sanctuary in Devon UK...I can post a couple of those for him if you would like..

I can't wait until I can walk again...I miss it so much...helped me mentally too...I am working harder in the pool though..

take care precious pea xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @eth much appreciated ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @eth the complexities of memory and family. Both need at least a book. Put the 2 together and .....

@Bunniekins makes sense you are not ready to talk about your feelings for your son yet.

@Exoplanet I have perservered with non effective counsellors as it was the best going. A doctor encourage me to doctor shop when I wearily described one as " a bit light on". So now I am a bit more assertive in sessions and about who I see. I used to be committed to the therapetic relationship and not able to defend myself if things went awry. I used to pay $30 out of pocket and she made a deal about how I had it cheap.

That the doctor stood by me for a few years as I went to different people mattered hugely in my self concept and survival. Recently I have reasoned with my son, we have a responsibility to ourselves and the system not to continue a poor counselling relationship. We have to be honest with ourselves but if they are not delivering and we are signing off on them taking tax payers money..... Its about more than our expenses and our personal feelings.

If she is patient, decent and you are being rambunctious ..then .... lol ... thats different to being feral. I like your feral. It is close to nature and practicalities.

@Sophia1 Glad you are travelling .. even if its only online.

@Mazarita

@outlander

ALL

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Hi Appleblossom hoping your are having a beautiful day 🙂 xxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Another night and morning of long, long sleep, too much sleep, yet again. Another night of dull troubling dreams that leave me depressed on waking. Another day in my nightie and dressing gown after lunch. Another day when my heart sinks on having to face being alone here for several hours. Another day of being overwhelmed by a small number of domestic duties, that I fail to engage with. Another day of not wanting to leave the flat, and too soon to visit my friend again. Another day of having no motivation for creative things. Another pretty crappy day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love & understanding to you Mazy @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @Exoplanet

What's happening with you today?

Tomorrow is a special day, hope I'm in a better mood. Will be here alone again for most of it, though have an evening visit with close friend to look forward to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry, @Exoplanet, as happened earlier this morning, I am too depressed to wait for a reply. Need to go back to bed again. Hope you make it to see the patient lady. If not, I hope it feels okay not going.

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