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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej the pea toy is adorable and just want the pea needed :). Am feeling quite better today and will go for a walk soon which should make me feel even better. Hoping the world is treading you kindly my dear friend Teej love gp xxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Bunniekins great to hear your leg is recovering well. How's your day going so far?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi eth 😄 I am alot better today thanks. There is frost on my windows it got so cold overnight but the sky is clear blue not a cloud in it. Just stunning. Am looking forward to going for a walk and enjoying the outdoors.

How are you this morning? I hope you are snug as a bug in your cabin :)xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy guess what? I am going for a walk!! Yes I am going to venture forth with my gimpy leg and see how I go. It is so beautiful here I would be stupid not to give it a try. I hope the weather is beautiful where you are and that you are feeling well. Thank you again for your kind offer to discuss son1's Crohn's Disease but I just cannot do it.... I cannot deal with it right now.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Bunniekins snug indoors, heater still on. It's sunny but still really cold outside. The dog is trying to catch the ever elusive magpies again. They are singing loudly, saying 'na na nana na You can't get me!!!'

@Mazarita if you're around. Just had a long message from my 1/2 sister who was here recently at the same time as Mum. They drove back to Sydney in her car (over 2 hours) and poor hen was her (Mum's) captive for the duration. Well good old Mum changed her story again, rewrote history as she is prone to do, and left poor hen feeling like her backstory is murkier than ever. (Mum gave her up for adoption at birth). So now hen feels like she needs to take a break from us all for a while. I feel for her deeply with this. Mum has a way of changing the facts to suit her that can be disturbing to say the least for others. Hen and I had a walk and coffee just the two of us when she was here and talked about Mum in depth and she says that Mum totally confirmed some of what I had said, not in a good way. I'm so cross at Mum about all this. She has no clue about how she effects others, is really insensitive and basically talks bulls$%t about the past in a way that contradicts collective family memories. Oh I could rave on. I'm so stirred up by this. I want to ring Mum and blast her but that would probably make things worse for hen as Mum would react. Sooo frustrating.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling really angry at my Mum but totally unable to do anything about it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone.

@eth, how sad that your half-sister now feels she needs to take a break from you all. Sorry to hear your mum is up to her old tricks. Look forward to hearing about your next fire, maybe on the full and/or eclipse moon.

@Bunniekins, totally understand why you don't feel like talking about that subject. It occurred to me after I wrote to you about it, that I might not be the best example of someone living with it, as well as bipolar. But despite all my whinging, I do love life, and am glad I was born. Life has pain in it and I accept that much more now than I used to. Thinking about you and your son with only kind wishes. Great that you are going for a walk today! The weather is beautiful here, we'll see what the day brings me.

@CheerBear, so good you got your jobs done. I think that makes you a super bear! Great that you had a good sleep afterwards too.

@Exoplanet, I'd be another voice suggesting 'go, go!'. But you know your own mind and heart and needs, and will act as you see fit. Maybe just worth recognising that you have come quite far recently and, in some significant way, it seems to be related to the patient lady.

Best wishes for a bright start to the week for everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita hope today is starting well for you.

Sorry for the rant about Mum so early in the day but I felt you would get it. I really feel like she's stooped to a new low. My anger is not diminishing. What Mum has done comes on top of hen's adoptive mother dying recently. Perhaps I should try to focus the energy elsewhere for a while. Not sure what to do with it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, it all sounds pretty awful. I can understand your emotions with it. If you can get it out of your head, even to focus on the ndis, that might be a good thing at this point. Or maybe the art and writing journals might call you again today...

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