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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm glad I went & talked to the very patient lady. To be honest because it had been a bit over a month, I kind of felt like we were strangers again. But as soon as I sat down & saw her gentle smile, heard her appoligizing for being a couple of minutes late & asking how I'd been - I was relieved. I talked about the things that I wanted to, not in great detail but without a piece of paper as a shield - I kind of felt that was a big step. She has a way of making me see past my own lies, a lot of stuff is still going back to my falling out with my daughter; of course a lot of stuff goes back even further, but I'm so glad she doesn't push for any of that stuff. She also charged less this time, I don't really understand why, I didn't say anything - except about the anxiety I'm feeling over the fence & how much it's cost already. I think that's real insight. I think I trust her a bit. I think she knows what she's doing, which is a bit scary - can she see through the thin veneer I put up, the pretence of being a good person; does she see all the hate and the anger, that I do everything I can to deny to even myself? Can she help?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No need to be sorry Mazy @Mazarita

What I don't understand {& I do understand} I will accept.

You are enough for me

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon everyone. I've had a busy-ish but really good day today and am about to enjoy the company of just one home plus a visiting friend tonight. We're going to play some video games and have takeaway for dinner, which my just one is very excited about. I wanted to call by while I had a moment, with ❤ for some maybe tricky feelings I was reading along with today.

@eth really sorry to hear about the difficulties you had and have with your mum, and how much it (understandably) stirred things up for you. Hoping you found a way to use the energy from it that worked for you today.

Biiiig hugs @Mazarita for your crappy day and those sinking depressed feelings. Hearing you and hoping it passes in time for tomorrow for you. Wondering what your special day is, though I'm thinking it may not be something shareable. Hugs again.

@Exoplanet go you for getting to your appointment. It's a big step to not hide behind our shields, whatever they may be. It takes lots of courage to do that. Also great to hear you're feeling some trust with her - that's so important. Hopefully with time you'll find or feel the answers to those questions x

Hope it's a reasonable or better than that afternoon/evening for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending lots of love @Mazarita By now you are probably in Trek land. I hope it and C coming home will pick you up a bit. Thinking of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita You are so much more active and out and about these days. Maybe you are being harder on yourself than need be. Hope tomorrow lives up to its promise.

@CheerBear Enjoy tonight on lighter mum duties.

@Bunniekins My mood was low to start. Sick of yet another thing to fix (plumbing) and not having water. But we had a good session with new family counsellor. My son was proactive and positive so that was good to see and new fella/counsellor should be fine.

@Exoplanet Maybe the very patient lady is worth seeing. Good that you did not need the piece of paper. I needed one when I first began counselling. Dont be too hard on yourself about having a veneer or periods of anger. The way our personalities develop has a logic and you have lots of good in you. We all try and put our good points forward. That is natural, but maybe next time bring in a comment that acknowledges a shadow part in whatever you feel. I have difficulty with that stuff too, as I dont have good sense of how to be balanced about myself. I can shoot myself in the foot, or be too self damning.

Take Care All

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Today I have been in what feels like a depression of mind and body both. Feels like a brain chemistry dysphoria. My mind is noticing the beautiful and good things all around in my life, but everything feels dim, with little emotional effect. I know this feeling from when I was much younger, when I experienced it so much, major depression. One time I saw Patti Smith live and was completely depressed to the point of crying all the way through, completely unmoved by her high energy, amazing performance. All this sleeping I've been doing is causing some serious depression, I think, and it feels like it's getting worse. I'm seeing my psychiatrist on Saturday, glad it's not further away.

Hi @Exoplanet, thank you for being so accepting of me. I am glad you went to see the patient lady. She sounds wonderful.

Hi @CheerBear, so good to hear you enjoying a good day. Hugs right back atcha.

Hi @eth, thanks for thinking of me. Yes, I was watching two hours of Star Trek when you posted last. Woke up not long before it started at 4.30pm. C coming home has definitely improved things. Now there's two hours of Seinfeld on. Hope your day has been okay, and that the issues that have arisen with family today have been managable by focussing instead on the great developments towards your new life.

Hi everyone, an okay evening, or better than that, to all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear, @eth, @Exoplanet and everyone,

4am and I thought I'd just leave a good morning message before returning to bed, as I may or may not be on the forum later this morning.

Feeling a bit better, though it's the middle of the night. Hoping for the best today.

May it be a good day for all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Tossing and turning for the last little while here so it was nice to catch this message in real time @Mazarita. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. Sounds like yesterday was not a good one at all. Happy special day to you and I hope it's a better day for today ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, thanks for your good wishes.

Hope you don't mind a rave...

Just before waking, I dreamt I had cerebral palsy, or a related condition that can come on suddenly in later life. What a weird set of dream imaginings to have just before I woke to a brilliant early morning.

Today already feels like the opposite of yesterday. Or maybe not the opposite. Just a happy morning in an excitable but stable way.

I sometimes say that the one thing I like about bipolar is that you know, regardless of how bad things seem, your mood is going to change at some point. Mind, you, I have in my life really tested how very long I could go in depressed states!

But today is not one of them (at least not so far).

Thankful to all there is to be grateful for. It's a lot.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I never mind reading and listening to a rave @Mazarita 😊

That is a strange dream, maybe even more strange with the feeling of waking to a lovely morning. So good to hear your mood has improved this morning and love that take on bipolar. I wonder if I can apply it to general emotional instability lol?! I have some ink that reminds me that things can and do always change. It's really helpful to hold on to that when things are tricky I think ☺

And yep, always a lot to be grateful for. Forum friends, singing birds, and coffee are what I am appreciating in this moment (before I flip out that it is 7:45, me and one are still in our pjs, no lunch has been made, no brekkie has been dished up and it's the latest I've started a day in forever haha!)

Better run. Big ones of these ❤❤ for all who'd like them today.
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