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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs @Appleblossom

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Re: A long rave

Thanks @Shaz51 You probably realise how huge all that was for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sure do @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There is so much to say oh wow to on this thread today.

@Appleblossom there is so much in that post that I can say I’ve lived through much of with you so your take on those events was fantastic. You have come such a long way and it’s truly inspiring to read that post. It made me wear proud smiles for you. 💜🤗

Hi @Shaz51. How are you. I hope you are resting.

@Mazarita Reading your post made me smile too. It’s great that you have found your way back and accomplished all that. Go you!

Oh and

for your video being accepted for the competition. That is awesome. Proud smiles for you too 💜🤗 (don’t know why but writing that made me think of no soup for you 🤔😆)

@Sophia1 loved your photos and huge smiles about your son ringing. I hope you get to do something lovely for your birthday. 💜🤗

@Exoplanet Yours was the first post I read today and I laughed with lots of endearment reading it. I love your down to earth with a sense of humour posts. It made me feel a little bit more human today. I hope it works out with Netflix. 💜🤗

@eth it’s lovely to read about your little community going on there. I can understand how you might be feeling a little perplexed by some things though. Maybe as things settle once the ndis stuff has all settled and is in place you may be able to put some boundaries around what is shared. It must be nice to know you have a village now though too. 💜🤗

@Twinklelight Best of luck for today. It can be hard and exhausting getting through kids birthdays..... and that’s when we are well. My kids are all adults now but it still takes everything I have to stay in the moment and get through their birthdays without self harming. Go gentle on you. 💜🤗

I only read read back four or 5 pages today but there were so many feel good things for me. I love this community 💜🤗

im having a much better day than yesterday too. My son came and put the doors on my garden shed. @Appleblossom It’s taken a year to get to this point 😂 . I remember talking to you about it last year.

Starting to be more positive about living by myself and stopped tantrumming so much :face_with_rolling_eyes:. Respite helped so much to reset. Planned healthy food again and starting to organise the house how I want it. It’s going to take a while. Also managed to be a bit more the boss of my dog and not the other way round so I’m hoping that things chill for a bit.

Love and hugs to all. 💜🤗

PS I’ve missed someone intentionally from this post that I’ll write to next.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Teej being thinking of you and sending you hugs yes got home at 2 soo resting now watching " escape to the country " xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I’m sending you this pea to cuddle and comfort you. I’m sorry you’ve had some difficult news to deal with about your son. It doesn’t seem fair at all, you have enough to worry about already.

I’d imagine you might feel a bit like a dehydrated pea just now. I hope you are taking good care of you and can bounce back soon.💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej Good to be here at the same time as you for a change.

Lovely to hear you are starting to settle in to living alone. And that you are having a better day today. I'm glad your son helped you with the garage at last.

I've just been resting today, getting ready to dive into NDIS business again tomorrow. I made myself take the weekend off it.

Will go now and catch up on today's posts but I'll be around for a while if you feel like chatting xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, just going to do something and will be back soon if you are still around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone

@Mazarita really great to hear how well today has gone for you! Hope you enjoy your time with your friend ☺

@Exoplanet thank you for your very kind words earlier 😊 I'm a bit Netflix fan. The kids and I find lots to watch on it and I enjoy all kinds of random shows especially at night (I almost always fall asleep to something on it). Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.

@Teej great to hear you're feeling a bit more positive and things are going OK for you today. Also great to hear you've had an enjoyable sounding weekend away from NDIS things @eth.

I've done something very me and started what feels like so many jobs today, but haven't finished any. The house is a huge mess and I'm kicking myself as I've run out of energy to do it all. I even pulled out the washing machine and dryer to clean under and around them and now I can't be bothered putting it all back. Feeling kind of overwhelmed looking at it all, and big time regretting ignoring the little voice that tries to say "go slow CheerBear" :face_with_rolling_eyes: I'll get there but for now I'm timing myself out with a cup of tea and a think of how to tackle it all.

Hope the afternoon/early evening is going OK for all ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone, back home again from my close friend's place. C is cooking roast chicken to have in fresh bread as yummy sandwiches tonight. We've relented and cranked up the reverse cycle heater tonight. This flat is a bit cave-like and gets chilly even when it's not cold outside. The early evening chill is with us just now, after a beautiful day. When we are at our friend's place, we often sit outside, and it was good to get some sun in my eyes and on my skin.

@Shaz51, hugs, sister.

@Appleblossom, you sound more confident with processing relationships with people around you, good to hear. Glad to hear you enjoyed the CD launch. I too find it special when I go out for artistic events. Mostly I enjoy the arts via the internet. But I'd like to go to a special event at the end of August, if possible. It's in a big city and would involve staying overnight and meeting various people who I'm sure would be very interesting. Hope I can pull it off. Glad too that you are taking the practical attitude to the weak ensuite pipes.

@Teej, thanks so much for the Seinfeld moment (and for being proud of me )! Seinfeld reruns are one of my current TV staples. Maybe you thought of soup because of the famous 'soup na-zi' episode. 'No soup for you!'

@Twinklelight, hope your daughter's birthday went well and you are able to rest now and recover.

@eth, wonder if you had your fire last night.

@CheerBear, doh to pulling everything out and running out of steam. Hoping the cuppa break gives you some new ideas and energy. If not, tomorrow might be the day? Either way, hope you can relax at some point this evening and recharge.

@everyone, a cruisy Sunday evening to all.

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