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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi again, @Exoplanet

Well, I'm dressed and ready to go to art group. After saying that stuff earlier about maybe going too often, I anyway rang my close friend (yes, it is the one I helped with housing, @eth). Going over after art group.

I might leave now so I can check out the op shops before art. A peaceful and happy day to all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap, @eth! Catch you later or tomorrow for more real time chat, I hope. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @ethHave a cup of coffee with me 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I'll have a latte thanks x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Latte it is for eth :). Did you want a piece of cake with it?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Best I don't have cake @Bunniekins I'm trying to lose some weight as I'm on the edge of having to go up a size in clothes. Can't have that (even virtually!).

Washing is on. Jug going on soon to make hot water for dishes. I don't have hot water in the cabin.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth your cabin sounds really cute. Is it rustic? Did your son make it for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I wouldn't describe it as rustic to look at from outside. Hard to find the right adjective but more modern with 6 floor to ceiling panels of glass and built of Cedar wood. But decorated inside with hanging up drums, billum bags from PNG, crystals and other nick nacks, pottery, camphor wood chest, pine table and teak chairs - eclectic might be a good word to describe the decor - cluttered might be another! It's one longish room with a kitchen at one end, bed at the other and table in the middle. No room for a couch or armchair so I sit on the bed to watch TV.

I don't actually have a son - nearly had one but that's another story. I do have an adult child (raised as a daughter) who is transgender, but to neither female nor male - it's complicated!

The cabin was built by my brother and sister-in-law. They are so good to me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins washing hung, dishes not done - heading next door for lunch with sil's mum soon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth You cabin sounds perfect. I could just imagine it as you were describing it in such great detail. Sounds like it has a wonderful feel to it. ps: We dont have a sofa either I want to live my life like a gypsy as much as possible :P.

My daughter like I am sure you know was actually born a male but decided at age 18 that she wanted to be a girl now she is inbetween and told me the other day that if she knew then what she knows now she wouldnt hve done it at all!! Kids! As long as she is happy I really dont care 🙂

You do have a wonderful brother and sil. I am sure they feel the same way about you being wonderful 🙂 xxx

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