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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Exoplanet

Ive no idea what might help with the fencing. Im glad the young man admitted he didn't have much experience, shows his honesty.
Hopefully something works out for you though. Perhaps another company would be better suited to what your after?


Hello @eth
Sounds like youve all been busy bees! Im nor surprised your tired. Hoping todays a good one for you though

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Sophia1 went for a lovely walk today. Everyone was so happy because the day was so beautiful. Who could not be happy when the sun is shining and the sky is so blue? 25 degrees here with no humidity ..... bliss. Everyone commented on how stunning it was and smiled genuine smiles which was nice for me. It felt warm against my skin.

The eagles nest is empty now baby eagle has moved on and the nest is falling apart .... until mother eagle comes back again next year. It feels like spring already even though it is the middle of winter .... mad weather we are having ....

Wishing you Sophia1 a lovely afternoon full of calming moments and glimmers of sunshine. Lots of love the pea xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Darling eth @eth am looking forward to hearing more tales about your mother .... I need a bit of perking up :D. Am really happy that you survived in one piece (it must have been exhausting for you) it seems like it has been one thing after another for you lately.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Oh outlander you are in the wars so to speak! Luckily you didnt fall hand first but still take care of yourself and if you are tired don't rush. xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I guess that working 2 jobs baby sitting and everything else with no sleep does @Bunniekins wasnt injured bad just mostly winded but im alright again now

Your walk sounds loveley. Nice weather here too until the wind started

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander You are a hard worker baby sitting and the horses plus you hand and everything else that is going on it is not surprising. Hopefully this weekend might be a bit quieter for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no @Bunniekins its now school holidays.
how are you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander I am so tired. I am sitting here at the keyboard about to fall asleep lol silly. Must be the change in the weather. Looking forward to an early night and a walk in the morning and a leisurely weekend ahead with ex coming up. He is a star really to be friends with not to be married to lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

lol @Bunniekins they often say you marry your best friend but sometimes that bond breaks after marriage. glad you both get on so well still. lol yes the cold weather i beleive is a big contributor.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Sophia1, good to read your post. I can only imagine how much work is involved in preparing your own place for sales inspections. I've only had the experience of having flats sold out under us, and the intrusion of the sales inspections during that period, and the extra work of making the place presentable enough for them in an ongoing way. But people don't look in the cupboards usually if there are tenants living there, so at least when our inspections come up (every three months), we can shove a bunch of things in the cupboards at the last minute, just to get them out of sight. It's a small flat and we have a lot of stuff in it. I know what you mean too about how it really only takes a short time for it all to show its rough edges again. No pets here but small place with lots of stuff gets messy easily. I remember that 'chinese laundry' saying too, I think it was from mum. Nice that you remember those conversations past that we had. It really made me smile when you imagined us trying to pronounce the Gaelic, lol. Hope the feeling of mirth returns to your smile very soon.

Hey @Bunniekins, sounds like your day of rest yesterday was rejuvinating. So good to hear of your lovely walk. 25 degrees is a wonderful temperature. Gorgeous that people smiled in a warm way. I did end up at my friend's place. But it was my close friend, not the new friend. I don't think today was the day we were meant to meet up at her place for the first time, not meant to be somehow. Previously we've only met at the local MH centre, and many times walking around the local shops. We always give each other a hug though. That's a promising start.

Hi @outlander, so sorry to hear of another accident yesterday. Take it easy and maybe a bit slower if you can. You've had it tough lately on the physical as well as emotional level. Gentle with our bodies when that is the case, as much as possible. In any case, I hope you feel a bit better today.

Hi dear @Exoplanet, typical kind of weather, I'd imagine, for where you are. In my mind I imagine it pretty much always hot, at least during the day. But I know you must get cold days too. It's been fairly heavily overcast today, but the sun kept peeping through. My cardigan went on, came off, went on, came off, etc. lol. But the fact I only needed a cardigan gives an indication of how relatively mild it is. We did get down to near zero overnight a couple of weeks ago though. My gut instinct is telling me the lad is the best option. It might be a slower process, and he might have to get used to the job (and maybe make some mistakes that need undoing along the way). I too like that he has admitted he doesn't have much experience. I think the two lots option for payment sounds very reasonable. If it was me, I might want to give a young lad a chance to gain more work experience, rather than go with a 'professional' company that feels like they don't really care. Love to you for it turning out great, whichever way it goes.

Hi @eth, glad to hear you are getting some rest and you time after the visit by your mum and visit. I'm so curious to hear your stories. You have had a really extended period of adjusting to changes, travelling, visits from family, now a new person becoming part of the extended family home. Do you get on well with sil's mother? Look forward to the next time we get to chat.

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