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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i had an easy physical day today @Mazarita which was helpful but mentall still super drained and triggerred tonight but thats just the usual family things. ill be ok with that.

how are you going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like you have really made some progress with your emotions, @outlander, to be able to say you can be okay with family struggles. I know I would find that hard to live with. I admire your resilience.

I'm going pretty well, especially since I got out of the flat and on the buses to my friend's place today. She was in a lot of pain and I gave her a 20 minute massage. I left her in a much better state of being than when I arrived, which always makes me happy to see. Aside from that, I am struggling with an excess of nervous energy at the moment. Started out the day hardly able to keep eyes open. Evening comes and I'm buzzing and overstimulated. It's the way of my bipolar life, I guess. Meds help but don't balance things completely. Still, I am grateful.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita it is so hard isnt it. I wonder what would have happened to the man who I was getting friendly with and then had a manic episode and it kind of killed it if nothing that happened and things had progressed into a relationsip..... mh is a hard one although you both have mh so at least you have that understanding and that is a big one!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

its only a minor thing tonight like the noise levels etc @Mazarita im okish though, im actually watching happy feet part 2. im sure your friend very much appreciated your help and massage today too esp since being n a better state upon leaving. what an amaxing friend you are.
nervous energy is the worst, its knda like all of it bubbling internally but no clue how to use it! maybe doing some of your video would be helpful?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, I think when you both have MI, it means you have to be very understanding of the other person's quirks etc. Like extra nervousness in them (like me sometimes), and awkward silences between us (I know I can be the cause of that with my nervousness). And then, I don't know about you in this way, but I need to cancel out on things, sometimes even at short notice, because I'm just not well enough for human consumption out in the world. Fortunately, that is less than it used to be, much less so really. Just continuing to push the envelope on what I can do socially, in itself, has helped build resilience in me. Though I'm still a marshmallow, lol. I don't remember you talking about the man who had the manic episode. But I also know that I am much more wary of men with MI because I'm basically a bit afraid of men in general really, though I also can really like men just as friends. But in all cases, I usually like sensitive, gentle men. Wow, you have prompted a rave with your much shorter post. Been missing chatting with you lately, but always love the free spirit in you, GP.

@outlander, Happy Feet sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Thanks for your kind thoughts about me and my friend. I've just finished a video that I've been working on much longer than usual. Or there might be some small changes I want to make still, but basically it's finished. I may get back to putting on some final touches later tonight, good suggestion. I'm off to have a chicken sandwich for dinner. Maybe see you later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

catch you later @Mazarita enjoy dinner

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita My man .... well he has a really cute dog a black french bull dog and we started talking and kept bumping into each other then one day he said would I like to go walking with him and I said yes. He lives close by so he came to the door one day but alas I was having a manic episode and gave him short shift I was dancing to rap music for 4 hours straight that night. Our paths have crossed since then but the moment has gone .... oh well wasnt meant to be. Then again I really dont want a man a friend yes but a man no thanks 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Yes I was totally manic. I heard my voice telling me to dance and that the others could see me dance and liked it and to keep dancing. My daughter ended up putting me to bed .... it was around the time where I would wander the streets at night.

And he would walk his cute dog who likes to sit on your feet. I love french bull dogs they have such a funny trot.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, part of the reason why I'd like to make friends with this new woman is that we do keep bumping into each other. It seems like synchronicity to me. That's my favourite kind of magic.

I saw a cute dog today, he looked at me sternly, lol. It was when I was walking up behind the woman walking the dog. She was friendly, most people seem to say hello on the street out where my friend lives. Friendly bus drivers sometimes too.

Ah so it was your manic episode. Sounds very intense with the dancing. I could often dance all night at gay nightclubs when I was younger, even without any contraband substances. I miss dancing! Pretty interesting that it was rap music. It's one kind of music I'm mostly not that keen on, though I can like rap sections in some hip-hop kind of music and there are some exceptions that I do like a whole rap track. Often don't like the lyrics. But I especially like the beats sometimes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita the area where your friend lives sounds great 'friendly bus drivers' that doesnt happen very often then again I am originally from a big city where the bus drivers must have been stressed to the max.

The man is totally sane it is me that is nutty as a fruit cake :). But I think he wants more than friendship if you know what I mean ... so is better this way besides my furry friend doesnt like the smell from his dog on my hands and shoes when I get back from seeing him. A bit of jealousy going on there me thinks.

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