Caring4Corny

I still only have puppies in my dreams @Maggie but my sib is getting a puppy next year and I will be a doting aunt!

I hope that you are having a peaceful and relaxing Saturday morning, maybe some craft or a crossword or tinkering in the garden.

I am feeling great being back home and as happy as a pig in mud to be in my apartment. My case worker came to see me the day I discharged and hung out and we talked about my rights and Mental Health Policy more broadly. I think having support at home will definitely help keeping me out of hospital.

My case manager wants to meet my psychiatrist, and my shrink has called my GP and they have chatted over the phone so I am feeling much more supported and able to cope with health professionals working together to support me.

I am experimenting with my falafel recipe again today.....lets just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

Corny

I am sorry if my memory isn't right @Appleblossom , but if my memory is right, your Mum committed suicide didn't she and also a sibling? It's much more common than people realise having multiple in one family, there were a few at my high school and also when I went to the Lifeline suicide support group there were several. There was one guy that had experienced 3! I think it was his wife, his son and his nephew....this would have been tremendously traumatising for you.

I haven't heard the term parentification and had to Groodle it, but my sibs and I experienced the same thing.

What ever gets you there @Appleblossom and helps you cope I think is healthy and right. We are all diverse and we are all different. I am not religious myself but one of my friends is who had very neglectful and abusive parents including his mother, and he told me he wouldn't be alive without his faith. He has chosen to have nothing to do with his mother for his own safety in terms of where a relationship with her takes him mind and mental health, but I think he gets more intimacy from his beliefs/readings/ teachings than he ever received from her.

It's a life long wound @Appleblossom I have accepted that. I just don't want to recreate similar dynamics in my other relationships. That's when it would make me feel very empty and like something was always missing.

I believe there is a little Latin American Princess out there for me somewhere in the Amazon waiting to meet a white, blue eyed gal like me . I will be the cooling chilled out waters, she the smokey, sensual hot pepper who will take me out dancing!

Corny

@Corny

In home support =👍

Looking forward to hearing how your falafel turns out.

like your whimsy and optimism.

@Corny

Had 2 gigs and a lovely day running into people all over the place planned and unplanned. Weird but nice, and a spontaneous trip to opshop with lovely new friend. So feeling connected.

Hope you are good.

@Corny I hope your recipe worked out ok.

@Appleblossom 👋👋

Ther was a Carols by Queerlight in old stamping grounds. It is so interesting how marginalised communities are finding their own new ways to connect and celebrate.

@Corny

"Whatever gets you there". I will have to remember that one.

My mother died recently of lung cancer, after I had joined the forum, but yes there were 2 suicide deaths in my immediate family, but it was my brother and sister. Sometimes I put too much into idealising them rather than focus on accepting what happened to me. Now mother has gone it is easier for me, to just be me, and not be hooked up into keeping family together or making out things were better than they were, and denying the trauma I went through before, during and after their deaths.

I still have to wait a day or 2 to be able to mention them, without reopening wounds, but neither do I want to forget them.

@Maggie Ha ha

A dash of bacon helps make big and lil boyz eat salad, but not sure about dogs!

You have been through so much @Appleblossom and it is wise to not go there sometimes because you know your triggers better than anyone, and I completely understand how difficult it is once they are set off to bring down the hyper-arousal and anxiety.

But you are very self aware and I can tell that you have moved through a lot of grief simply by what you have written, recognising that their passing may have been romanticised a little, and seeing how the enormity of that loss swallowed up all your own suffering.

I guess that it is easier to acknowledge your losses now and your own experiences, but it is a very painful task to sit with all of that. Truth can really hurt and when all our defenses are gone, especially via a nervous breakdown, the rawness of dealing with our past is sometimes too intense. It's a delicate balance of knowing when to talk and when to distract and do something else while we are still recovering and making sense of everything we have endured.

But a roam about town sounds wonderful! Feeling connected as you say flows so much more easily face-to-face. And carols by Queerlight sounds interesting, maybe under a rainbow or something

I hope you sleep well tonight @Appleblossom , another hot week in Sydney this coming week. I have enjoyed the cool change I must say, just no rain in sight!

Stay comfy

@Maggie the balance of flavours are not quite right.....its the spices that need a little tweaking....but all in all a good effort. Cooking and gardening takes persistence, patience and acceptance....I am working on all 3

Corny

Love those salsa dips @Former-Member! I can see you and Mr Darcy having a jig and a swing in the lounge room under some mood lighting and with some sassy music. Dancing together is great. Imagine your body is a paint brush, K! Corny

Thank you @Corny

There was a Rainbow Band.

and I could mention my raging queen uncle with understanding.

Was a little heavy handed with spice in my sweet potato soup, but added lots cauli to "water it down".