Hospital or not??

Hi @BlueBay

Oh, I'm sorry about that - I misunderstood what you meant Thanks for clarifying! It is so hard when we are estranged from family and there is a a mix of anger and sadness, other emotions too. As a counsellor I talk to a lot of people who feel they were born into the wrong family or are the "black sheep" in their family. Sometimes it's too hard to have family in our lives...and as adults we get to choose that.

Don't apologise for being emotional. I think it's good to name how we feel and seek support. You are accepted here on the forums, in all your states 🙂

Take care of yourself,

Frog

Hi Again,

I’m really sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment. You have shown a lot of strength in talking on the forums and seeking help. Is there someone at home you can talk to as well, sometimes that helps. Or you could call a helpline like Lifeline 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36 and talk with a counsellor.

You haven't done anything to deserve this pain, sometimes it's just a situation that life brings us and we do our best to get through.

What have you done in the past when you felt this way? What has helped to calm you and reduce the distress?

I think in "the olden times" there used to be this sort of baskety-crib thing that you could tie up on a tree branch and swing a baby in to soothe it.

Sometimes I wish we could do that with people who hurt us, and others around us - just put them into a baskety-crib and let them soothe themselves there for a while, leaving us to go about our own lives with the love and support of caring people around us, and check back in on the crabby ones occasionally.

I don't know if it helps you at all @BlueBay, but have any of your therapists given you visualisation exercises ? Perhaps as @Former-Member siggests, you can visualise handing your parents over to someone else - God if you have faith in Him - or to someone else you have known who is a loving, caring figure in your life, and just aske them, in your mind and heart, to just "baby-sit" your parents for a while so you can concentrate a bit better on your beautiful children and your poetry writing, without them being such an interference for you.

I hope that is a helpful thing to consider.

In the meantime, can you choose something a little bit special for your day, this day ? Can you wear something that is your favourite colour perhaps ? Or spend extra time with Jersey, giving your fur-baby a treat of something they enjoy and seeing the pleasure that brings them. Maybe there are some flowers nearby you can put into a vase in your kitchen. Just something small that is self-care. Just for you.

💜💙💜💗💜

Hi @Former-Member

No don't be scared reply - it's all good. I agree with you - my hormones are so out of whack. I have made an appt to see my GP tomorrow for a blood test. I want him to check everything.

Yes my anger is so huge. I am trying very hard now to let go of my parents and try really hard to live my life with my husband and children.

I can see at the moment this rage is taking over my life. I will have a chat with my support people tomorrow.

Thank you so much @Former-Member for replying, I am not upset at your reply.

And yes I am calm at the moment. 🙂

How are you going @Former-Member?

Stupid doctor. I had to see a different doctor today as my regular one is away for a month on holidays.

I said to him my moods are bad, my depression is terrible and he suggested - take evening primrose oil tablets and take B6.

So I am waiting to hear back from my psych and see what he says.

Anyway, I did the outpatient program today and the relaxation session was so good I fell asleep. The other group program was a bit intense. After lunch I had a choice of music therapy or art therapy. I decided to give art therapy a go. But a few minutes before it started i got the panics. I was so anxious I started to cry and walked out. I then saw the music therapist and told her what had happened. I went back in the art room and told the teacher that I am so anxious and wasn't going to do the group. I told her that i was scared that a lot of my emotions would 'open up' while doing art therapy.

I told her that i will try to do it next week. Feeling very down and disappointed that i didn't even try the art therapy,