Hospital or not??

Well I am still waiting for my psych to call me. It's so frustrating.

This morning I wen to do outpatient program. First was yoga was nice and gentle stretching and meditation. Then we had a group session about sleeping and changing things. I was given a suggestion by the pyschologist there to try some slow breathing when I wake up during the night.

Then I had lunch provided and then music therapy. Now I went into this group feeling anxious only because I didn't know what the session was about. But after a few minutes with the differernt instruments I was okay.

But by 3pm when it finished I was mentally exhausted. I was awake again at 4am thinking about work. And even during the program today i was thinking about work stuff!!!

Came home and went for a walk down the beach with the dog. I needed to feel the fresh air on my face and it was nice and sunny.

Home now and hubby has just come home from seeing his mum in nursing home. He has sorted cracked the shits because I went for a walk and he wanted to go for a walk too. Well bad luck, that was my walk for just me.

Cooking tea now and I think an early night tonight. I am so stuffed. Hoping my psych rings me soon.

Just another rant - do you think my husband has asked me 'how my day'. not even a word. not even how was your outpatient program today. No wonder why we have communication problems.

It would be nice to talk about what I did today, but obviously he is not interested. He talked about visiting his mum at the nursing home but nothing abuot me.

Gee that annoys me 😞

Well my psych called me and I couldn't tell him about wanting to go to hospital.

I told him i am exhausted from not sleeping properly and stressing and worrying a lot about work and finances. he suggested i take a sleeping tablet for a few days and hopefully it will settle. he did say before he left if i needed anything else to call him.

I don't know why i couldn't tell him. I told him my depression and mood is really low. He is not in tomorrow but he is back on Thursday.

Gee i am so stupid, i want something but was too scared to tell him.

You can chat with us @BlueBay 😊

We would love to hear about your day ! 💗

Your hubby might come around to asking you later. Sounds like his head is still in his day at the moment. Give him a bit more time, and tell us about the instruments they had available for you today. Did you all have to play something together ? What did you play ?

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. Of course I will chat with you guys 🙂

You are all the only ones I can talk to so openly and honestly. I have no friends or family that I have spoken to so openly like here. So thank you for letting me so honest and open.

We got to pick an instrument (i picked a tamborine) and when the psychologist started on the keyboard we had to go with the beat. it was fun, it was like we were jamming together.

playing beats to the songs of queen - we will rock you and abba - mamma mia.

it was fun 🙂

Sounds fun 😃

Hi @BlueBay

Of course you can chat with us - I am pretty sure that we are all here because somehow it's really hard for us to communicate our feelings - we - I feel - that other people might not understand, might criticise - might secretly think I am weird - that's an easy one - I am seriously weird

However - I understand about you not being able to say what we really want even with someone who might be able to help - ah - because they might just be able to change our medication and lead us into a different combination - gee - my GP suggested that this week because I get some nerve pain in my leg - and that is for pain - and has side effects - not happy about side effects myself

Or hospital - in your case - if I complain that I am not coping that well right now - which is the case - I might find myself in respite - and the last time that happened I was so unhappy I walked out after a couple of days - I like it better at home

So I get it @BlueBay - sighn - I understand that whereas you might need a rest and I certainly do - I prefer to be at home anyway and I don't have to work - and my financial life will be the same whatever I do - it must be a strange puzzle to change something

And I feel like I am waffling too - and being in waffling mode I didn't do anything useful yesterday

But I hope you are okay - and if you want to take a walk - take a walk - your husband can take a walk if he wants - (so glad I am living alone)

But I did not realise that his mother was in a nursing home - that does place a lot of extra stress in his life and therefore yours - and I guess both of you feel as if you are needing either space or support and this is really tough

So - what ever is happening @BlueBay I am thinking of you and hoping things work out okay

Decadian

Hi @Decadian

Thank you so much for chatting with me. I don't feel alone when chatting with all of you on here.

Yeah, my mother in law lived with us for 20 yrs, yep 20 yrs and just now we have put her into a nursing home. So it has been stressful for my husband and me; her dementia is getting worse.

I think i just need a break, a break from work, a break from home - just to be on my own. so i can also get some quality sleep without worrying about work every single night.

I will speak with my psych tomorrow afternoon and see what he says.

How are you @Decadian?

Hi @BlueBay

Just in case you haven't seen it, I've popped you an email.

Take care,

Nik