Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member

I am sure I can find one of your owls here -

No swans - this is much better

Actually I really get swans - I identity with the Ugly Duckling - and as years have passed I have turned into the swan - maybe you have too and just don't know it

What do I think? Do I think you are rude or unappreciative? No - I think you are being stuff around - so many people in our lives are so &%$8^^* busy and they think on the run and I have worked it out - it is impossible to multi-task successfully - no one can do it - things fall by the way side and guess what

I do not think any of us need to gather up the crumbs of what is left over from someone's over-committed life - and - aw Tawnz - I know how lovely - that was a typo but I meant that - I know how lonely you are - and when you are feeling bad shutting out the deafening silence with your own music and your own thoughts is okay - truly

There are better ways to live - but yes - I know that terrible loneliness of having no one care - having my then-h tell me he hadn't had the time to get me a birthday present - I yelled he had a whole year since my last birthday - ah - it can be so hard

You are hurt and angry and I so get that - all we can do is plan things for ourselves and if hiding in your car listening to your music and eating snacks you enjoy could be one way of closing out the deafening silence that is so cruel - and your mum rings so early and VC rings so late it is actually an insult to you and I am glad you turned your phone off

Ah Tawnz - if we were not so far apart and the privacy rules did not apply - well - at least we can imagine being in each other's time - take walks together - long talks about nothing. It can't happen - but we can imagine

At least we can chat on-line - even though we have to be here at the same time and often I am not

Lots of hugs and here's my own swans

Dec

Morning @Former-Member @Owlunar ...... and anyone else who's around .... 😊💕

I'm up .... ✅

Hi @Former-Member

I do understand - being alone uses up so much energy - and it has taken time to learn to endure it without trauma to myself - it has been a long time and when I think of my mother, my ex-h - ex-bf - (I never lived with him - that was a good idea - I had somewhere else to go when I needed to have time to myself,

Starting a new sentence without finishing the other - my past situtations have not been pleasant - then I had to be someone I wasn't - my mother had no idea of who I was - I left my parents' home in the only way I could - I married badly - and is that ever good?

So I had this unhappy marriage - so lost there - I worked so hard to make it work - and all there was a lot of the time was this boring, lazy man who was so deeply involved in himself - I have no idea what was going on with him because he never told me but from the outside the stillbirth of his brother almost exactly a year before he was born was not a good way to start a life - and then his father died very young - and I remember that - I had just joined the family and found it strange that they could not see that this man was dying -

We got married for a lot of wrong reasons - I was glad to get out of it

And my boyfriend was too fond of green smoke - how much time was lost to that - finding it really boring to be with someone getting stoned and going outside to clear my head and then seeing as I had not been missed just driving back to my own home - thank God I had my own unit

So for me life alone is so much better - I deserve better than the toxic situation with my mother and the lazy boring husband and the grass-addicted boyfriend - it makes me wonder about other people's relationships - pretty sure that no one is as great as they portray - but it's their lives and they have to live their own lives just as we have to live ours

Reading what you write and knowing from my own experience having a child die is destructive - I was told about 10 years after I had to give up my grief because it was destroying me - ah uh - no - I was living my life as it was at the time and that stage has passed for me to a different stage - now I have my bad days - but they are fewer and further between.

However the main thing with that is what you are going through now - it's not that it's destroying you - it's because you were torn down when J died - I was when my son died and this was part of the process. I had to endure that to rebuild -

I was very open and heart-on-sleeve with my grief - people who don't have the capacity don't understand that - I guess as we rebuild we have to reach deep downe inside. And maybe work on the mask or work on what's under the mask - maybe the mask is how we want to appear - takes a lot of courage - we need to work on different levels and it is so hard - how I remember feeling when my husband

I have my cat to yak to - actually she is very vocal and going to be each night is quite an event - if I can get there before she realises I have - and turn the light of and lie still she will get on the bed and sniff around me checking me out - and will settle down somewhere without argument - but if I am reading or doing a puzzle or whatever she will march around with the loud meows and rusty meows and whines a bit and seems to chat and I have to speak to her - and I think that now she is 13.5 she is really clever and does understand a bit of what I say - I don't know what I would do without her

I don't mind chatting here with you at all - it's great that we can

About the TC Debbie - it is making landfall - I have the TV on - better news than Doctor Phil today obviously - I have been watching it radar on the computer for days - I hope you are nowhere near you

So I am thinking of everyone up in northern Queensland - be as safe as you can - and what I just heard is that people can't take their pets into emergency shelters. I have to have another look

I do understand what you are writing about Tawnz - I get your loneliness - I think it's a fight I fight every day but as the year pass it gets easier.

But I don't go out much

And if you ever think about what your are worth - think about what you did for your parents a few weeks ago - something I could not have done for my mother because she always drove me away - but you stayed there and made things better for them -

That was a gift of love - a huge gift

Dec

Young punks Ha @TAB Glad you got away ... yeah but being pulled in .. for a cheap shot .. a bit lame

Hi @Former-Member Thnking of you sista. Just flying through. Answered my emails and stuff. Need to cook early dindin and get ready to singing tonight.and lion cubs tomorrow.