Sleeping too much

Thanks guys, none of the 'friend' stuff really matters now I'm with son and were getting on fine (a bit touchy but pretty good). We had pizza for tea, and that's breakfast too apparently. His new bachelor pad is very nice, spotlessly clean though. Don't know where it came from - his dad & I are the opposite. He put a movie 'Oblivian' - but I fell asleep (didn't sleep last night) so plan to watch the rest tomorrow. We've had some good laughes together already which is wonderful. He thinks I'm a 'figitting chatterbox' which I just don't understand, but he's tongue in cheek about it, haha 😕 . Its reassuring to see him in his own environment doingbok without the povebof his life. Bought a couple of lovely little ferns for his kitchen today, and a new sound system all worth showing off. Actually, just occurred to me he hasn't been on the computer once while I'm here, wow. Very different without "little miss" around (not that she isnt a good person and all, just not very inviting). This unit on the 6th floor - I couldn't live here, surrounded by other highrise unit blocks - Many of them playing loud music tonight (Saturday night I guess), and open curtains... Very different to country. Can't wait to hear the pentecostal church start up their rock music in the morning across the road haha - S1 complains about it a lot...
Can't keep eyes open here, gotta go, night!

---

@TAWNEY wrote:

My Brisbane 'friend' jyst rang before and cancelled coming on the Remembrance walk & bbq tomorrow while I'm in Brisbane (she prefers to go to church) and shes busy in arvo re having HER DAUGHTER & GRANDAUGHTER over for afternoon tea ... ! have i done something wrong?) she hinted I could drive to her place, maybe, but.. Seemes coming to me at S1's after church (around the corner) too hard - I don't know, felt hurt after we hung up, jus before leaving, nearly had meltdown (hate being sensitive). Why did she even ring me back? ...Should i NOT feel this way? How can I not let it hurt? And they're quick to remind me how unreasonable I can be. Even my VC friend in small town cancelling my birthday lunch with with her - cause her hubby has a Dr apt. 1/2hr away she wants to be at. But I say why not afternoon tea, or morning tea... ... or drr, some othee option. How long does a drs apt take anyway, a whole day? I go to all my dr apts on my own, even when I need help. They seem to like rubning in they have their 'husbands' - I'm worth more than that I don't understand why I can't be important to my closest friends - esp around anniversaries. The other thing is - the WAY they do it - no apology, just a matter of fact 'something else has come up' ... ... It actually appears they 'get off' on being able to have the 'upper hand' when i'm most vulnerable. I'm disgusted frankly, indignant actually, its taken me 2hrs to calm my interbal anger. abandonment overreaction... still hurts whatever they call . I think maybe I deserve better.

---

Hi @Former-Member

You do deserve better and these people are not your friends.They are people you know who don't care a whole lot about what they run off at the mouth with - I bet you knew them before your daughter died - I get that - it is too hard for them to understnad and you are perfectly normal feeling this way

Ah - it explains to me why I don't have friends from the past - it reminds me why I feel so comfortable living my life though there are times when anniversaries etc come along and I wish I had someone close I could yak too - you do deserve better

One thing I do not understand is why people need to have someone with them when they have appointments - sheesh - why is that? I take myself along just as you do - and I seem to cope. I even took myself to hospital when I had surgery on my knee - though dd had to take me back to her place for a day - and this was hard for her - aw was it ever!! I get how you feel. I go to the doctor on my own - and I see a lady regulary who needs appointments every few days as I do - and she is alone - around my age - I feel as if she is a good friend even though I have to speak loudly because she is deaf - my my - I have unusual friends - the people at my clinic and the people who help me out with my domestic work and shopping - and of course my on-line friends here - and I have been told I have a "sunny personality" in spite of my past

I dunno what's wrong with your so-called friends - from what you write you are a great person who cares about other people and it's your birthday

Ah - about staying in the city with your son for a few days - which is a good thing - does this remind you how peaceful it is in the country? I know when I was in Lakes Entrance it was so quiet at night I could hear the surf beach - and before the traffic built up on the Princes Highway I could here silence - wonderful silence - not aircraft taking off from the local airport - which is why I got up this morning

I understand your loneliness and I don't understand your friends - not good pushing it with them - I have found loneliness does not bring people together - and yes - last year when my aunt die and Life Line asked me if I had a friend who could be with me for a while I had to say no - no one there - only dd who had given me the bad news and felt bad about that and my other friends are paid to be here and the clinic on a Sunday night - no one home there - just wait and ring Life Line again

Yes - tough that one - and I get how you feel more than most I think - I have to make my life work for me - and sometimes it is hard yards - and I think only people who live alone would really get it - really know how it feels

I care about you and if you were at all handy I would certainly visit and would not find it a problem at all.

Dec

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Sorry about D3 having the norties - how old is she now?

How did she behave when she was overseas? And is her being confrontational an event that occurs often or is it just a bristly day or week or whatever for her

I know she is having a gap-year - but maybe a part time job might be a good idea - one you could suggest without being firm about it - give her the idea of some pocket money etc

Bristly daughters - yes - I only have one and I know about it - ah - can they not keep the bristles to themselves and spend the day reading in a place you are not going

I understand

Dec

Hi @Shaz51

I would like my family to be user-friendly either - but I get on well with dd and gd and my sil's large family - just don't see them much - every one is so busy - but one grandson has 5 children so I get it that there is not much spare time there

I would love it if TS was a nicer person - but she is not - she is who she is so she just has to live her own life without me and me without her - and I get it - I so do

People have to be who they are - and we can't change them - they think they are okay anyway though if they were in an alternative universe they might be having a go about us - darn it - we will never know what they think - but maybe this is a good thing

I had to let the cat out - she is my family and doesn't have any trouble telling me what she thinks - when I got back from my holidays she stood in the middle of the lounge room - on the floor - and she is so little I had to laugh at her - she MEOWED and MEOWED in a piercing voice that made the small areoplanes flying over-head right now sound so quiet. Ah - that cat has a temper at times - and so little - bossing me around like that - DONT GO AWAY AGAIN HUMAN!!!!! - and I travel every few months and she has not done that before - been naughty before but not that yelling - wow

About your husband - I think he was off his medication but went back on it - ah - with chronic pain I do not have that choice - but from what I gather he tends to go to bed and go to sleep if life gets hard for him - but that would mean he is not there for you - not easy

I am sorry you mother is not well - I hope she recovers from this tropical thing quickly - it must be hard for you

Thinking of you

Dec

Hi @Former-Member .....

Thinking of you on your special walk for your girl today .....

I don't know if it's a rose you have for her, but I painted this one and I think of you and your girl when I see it on my wall .... I painted it last year when we first met and I was trying to get some sense back into my tumbling days .... picking up the paintbrush helped me, as did chatting with you .....

Hugs Hon .... so glad your boy is with you ....

❤️💕🌹❤️💕🌹❤️

hello @Owlunar

from what I gather he tends to go to bed and go to sleep if life gets hard for him - but that would mean he is not there for you - not easy -- yes it is hard at times , I think it is the meds , but he is totally no good without them

we will find out tomorrow and go from there

yes I hope mum gets better soon , she is getting frail

I love your cat , mine used to do the same

Hi Dec, Bella2, Shaz51, Faith-and-Hope TAB Appleblossom, Anyone - thank you for your heartfelt messages of support. I'm with company so must be brief. This photo is of last years walk I borrowed from Qld COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS website (just to give you an exact feel how it was for me today). It was a Beautiful walk by the river. A group of about 60 (all ages) with the haunting bagpipes out front singing what words cannot say. The 'Flower Ceremony' was the deepest, most symbolic for me - they had a basket of fresh flowers and rosemary to chose from, my son picked rosemary, I grabbed frangipani and Rosemary (extra as mum and dad asked me to throw a flower for them). There's something about gently throwing a flower into the moving river and watching it float away. And they played John Williamson's beautiful song 'Frangipani on the Water' as each of us casually placed our flowers. Oh boy, my 💜, that's when the tears really came, no sobbing - just rolling tears (oh how i miss her). So glad my beautiful son & i were together. He initiated one arm cuddles with concern a few times - how lovely is that! S1 seemed to really appreciate the process and I heard him telling another what a relief it is to have an outlet for his grieving in a culture where the topic is 'taboo' There is something symbolically empowering about physically walking WITH others who've experienced the same. I looked into their eyes, and yes, we 'knew' The bagpipes were amazing - a lovely Scottish gentleman did us proud. Actually, i found myself MINDFULLY walking to the rhythm of his step. It slowed me down (reduced the anxiety, and the pain), calming - one rhythmic step at a time. Walked behind him and really had to focus to copy the way he was walking - so deliberately, and the songs were lovely. Also liked the river and tall shade trees.

Home at my son's now, sitting under the aircon trying to cool down and get rid of a headache. He wants to go for another walk soon, thn its off to the bus home to dog to me. Don't know how I'm doing it, just am. Love you guys to share with. Will try answering your individual posts soon as I can. Hope your weekends are OK. Hugzz xox