Sleeping too much

Ya doin' OK @Tab,

Haven't read the 'Coffee Chat' thread but just quietly, I think the cats out of the bag that we're all 'a little bit mad' lol

Hi @Former-Member

That is one fantastic recliner and how great your brother helped you buy it - I am sure it will work for you - space or no space - it will help your back a lot

I read about your mother disappearing at times - maybe you are unconciously trying to prepare yourself for her passing - this would be tough for anyone to face or process

Having had this experience - I only saw my mother once after 2.5 years - I told her I would not put up with her mouth - I had enough - and I don't feel guilty

But your situation with your mother is different - but we do have something in common - and that is the way our mother's spoke to us - and in my case I had a life-time of it - and no way could I change and be what my mother wanted me to be - and thinking back

Yeah - it was hard - I would wake up some mornings and feel I "should" visit my mother but the last time I went and the time before that I came home alone and cried for however long

So I had a disappearing mother too - I get it - I understand

I can't remember if you are seeing a therapist or not - but if you are it would be a good idea to mention this - I don't think anything strange is happening - but it would be unsettling - and a I think helpful for you to talk to someone who understands these things

For several weeks before she died I would pray aloud in the morning - often - and ask for her to be released from her suffering

LIfe is a puzzle - lots of hugs though

Dec

Hi @Former-Member

I missed this post - so glad I caught it - what a puzzle this is - and you are right - it's not you - it's them - as with my dysfunctional original family - it was them - not me - it took me a long time to learn

I have to post a quote and go though your post so as to touch on as much as I can

---

@TAWNEY wrote:

just got home, turned the phone on to find umpteen msgs from bro2 wanting to know whats wrong with dad, and why mums crying and wont talk to him, hes threatening to call police on mum & dad, blabla, so unnecessary. Double checked my info with nurse (dad has Bladder Cather, partial kidney failure + on IV ABs),

@Former-Member I am glad you have talked with your Dad's nurse and got the info - as unpleasant as it is - no wonder your Dad has so many health problems esp with his water works - keeping his cold drinks in the garage and not the fridge inside and your bros behaviour about those drinks - trying to make him Dad "exercise" by water through the obstacle course and your Ma not wanting his drinks in the inside fridge - If I had a little face with steam coming out of the ears I would post it here - I feel so angry - but at least B2 wants to know what's wrong with your Dad -

I might be wrong but to me it seems your brothers need to be told what to do - I hope your dad is more comfortable in hospital

talked with dad who seems good in spirits, but said Bro4 took his phone to use as his is out of credit grr). Tx back bro with most that suggesting he visit dad in hospital.

I'm glad you talked to your Dad and he seems in good spirits but Bro 4 taking his phone so he (Bro) can get credit - (Steaming ears again) - so glad you suggested you told him to visit your dad in hospital - these "boys" need to be told what to do - botheration - men in their 50s being so helpless - ah well

Rang ma who's "too tired to talk" but she did make a point of telling me Bro1 visited her today, all the way from The Snowy Mountains, but didn't have time to visit dad in hospital 10min away grr,

Also glad you rang your mother - yeah - too tired to talk but told you Bro 1 saw her but too hard for him to see Dad - (ditto on the grr - I get it)

And said she gave away the 2nd hand wheelchair I bought dad and just took down to them - as DVA have come to the party and gave dad one, a 'better' one, brand new, hmm! Not that I need a wheelchair I guess.

OMG - on the wheel chair - tough one that - DVA (I don't know what that is) gave him a better one - kinda throws that into your face - you must have made an effort and it cost you to get the 2nd hand wheel chair for both your parents and your Mum could still have used it - and she gave it away.

I guess with gifts - once given the person who receives them can do what they like with them - but how nice if your Ma had kept this to herself - again grr

I don't understand any of them anymore, accept dad, dont have much patience for the carry on. Glad dad's in hospital away from it, even though he did say Bro4 "took EVERYTHING" Think my parents are scared of my verbally abusive Bro3+4

I don't get it either - and glad you are writing this - it gives me a chance to understand more - and it is like a weird puzzle and I can understand your parents being afraid of the verbal abuse - I am glad your Dad is in hospital too

I read somewhere that I think it is B4 who threatened to get your parents into care somehow but you are right - if people want to they are free to stay in their own homes for as long as they can manage it. I am one of those people fighting hard to continue to live alone even though I sure could find a rest in a private hospital easy for a couple of days - but I like iin my own home

Thinking of you while you sort out several jigsaw puzzles that have got mixed up - oh boy - what fun - my Dad was okay too - but the other people

I feel for you - hugs - Dec

Thanks @TAB

I know what you mean - and thanks for giving me the update

I am not sure but I think my father had that kind of income - and I would sound a little blaze myself if I was talking about it -

The system does not work for people who are battling - and it's the sting in the thing - and the reduction of the New Start and the Youth Allowance gets to me it an itchy place in my brain

I get it Tab

Dec