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Sleeping too much
8691 replies
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Hi @Former-Member, yep, palpatations, anxiety, anger etc... are all connected. Our heat.
And nobody talks much about 'big brother trauma' as if its part of growing up - my foot! I won't pretend anymore either. Still trying to work out if more I s required of me in terms of forgiveness, but with a lack of repentance - I think distance is wisdom. They say avoidance is bad, but I this k - not all! Do what ya gotta do to protect you. I'm having to look at this ATM. My bro is visiting in a few days - I plan to be gone by then.
I used to try and rescue my famuly, or feel it was my responsibility - still pearning its not. Gosh, you have gone over & above for your bro - you've done enough.
But is it being a "victim"
Still, glad we got out of the "trap".
Sorry you've been feeling so angry / furious today for no apparent reason. But with your traumatic history - I think its the PTSD, the flashbacks can come in emotions with no conscious connection to thoughts. Its hard. Acknowledge it, comfort and movement will help because anger brings powerful energy charge that is better expelled, at least in part.
The past is the past, and you will shift from it as you fill your life with more pleasant experiences that push memories to the side. Create a life worth living, build strategies to cope. That's how I do it, well trying.
Never feel embarrassassed here, be yourself - your anonymous! hehe!! I am interested and glad. Just call out a few times if I miss you. Its really hard for me to keep up and remember sorry, and lots of distractions here at mums & dads, lots! I just wanna also be open & honest and say sometimes its confronting for me when you talk about your beautiful daughter (because of my loss). Just something I still need to work on and have sometimes avoided chatting because of it sorry.
My mother has MI - gosh she swings. Erupted a lit today - big filthy mouth outbursts today.l, then sweet as dasies. So weird.
Interesting how you say you " don't even consider you have a brother anymore. Wonder if I can do that with all my siblings.
You seem to understand similar difficulties , PTSD, panic attacks, bad siblings,
& 'mother' I don't know how I've stayed this long, God I think.
Try not to feel 'useless' with your daughter. As my son says "you don't have to DO anything mum, just BE there" it might not sound like much but staying together in ourself and letting them know we are there for them" is enough. And maybe yummy food & hugs. lol
Do stay in touch, its nice that you look mW up. You're one of the handful of people I feel connected with too, when I can keep up. Even now I'm misfiring, mising lots (mempry gaps) and fuzzy sorry, patience please.
How did your trip.to Sydney knock you out? The heat? Sounds like u have to pace yourself, not overdo it. Might be a but of chronic fatigue or inflammatory disorder, or is it anxiety.
Not use to the words "Love to you Tawney" and thanks for the reminder that you will be with me when i go home again xoxo
And nobody talks much about 'big brother trauma' as if its part of growing up - my foot! I won't pretend anymore either. Still trying to work out if more I s required of me in terms of forgiveness, but with a lack of repentance - I think distance is wisdom. They say avoidance is bad, but I this k - not all! Do what ya gotta do to protect you. I'm having to look at this ATM. My bro is visiting in a few days - I plan to be gone by then.
I used to try and rescue my famuly, or feel it was my responsibility - still pearning its not. Gosh, you have gone over & above for your bro - you've done enough.
But is it being a "victim"
Still, glad we got out of the "trap".
Sorry you've been feeling so angry / furious today for no apparent reason. But with your traumatic history - I think its the PTSD, the flashbacks can come in emotions with no conscious connection to thoughts. Its hard. Acknowledge it, comfort and movement will help because anger brings powerful energy charge that is better expelled, at least in part.
The past is the past, and you will shift from it as you fill your life with more pleasant experiences that push memories to the side. Create a life worth living, build strategies to cope. That's how I do it, well trying.
Never feel embarrassassed here, be yourself - your anonymous! hehe!! I am interested and glad. Just call out a few times if I miss you. Its really hard for me to keep up and remember sorry, and lots of distractions here at mums & dads, lots! I just wanna also be open & honest and say sometimes its confronting for me when you talk about your beautiful daughter (because of my loss). Just something I still need to work on and have sometimes avoided chatting because of it sorry.
My mother has MI - gosh she swings. Erupted a lit today - big filthy mouth outbursts today.l, then sweet as dasies. So weird.
Interesting how you say you " don't even consider you have a brother anymore. Wonder if I can do that with all my siblings.
You seem to understand similar difficulties , PTSD, panic attacks, bad siblings,
& 'mother' I don't know how I've stayed this long, God I think.
Try not to feel 'useless' with your daughter. As my son says "you don't have to DO anything mum, just BE there" it might not sound like much but staying together in ourself and letting them know we are there for them" is enough. And maybe yummy food & hugs. lol
Do stay in touch, its nice that you look mW up. You're one of the handful of people I feel connected with too, when I can keep up. Even now I'm misfiring, mising lots (mempry gaps) and fuzzy sorry, patience please.
How did your trip.to Sydney knock you out? The heat? Sounds like u have to pace yourself, not overdo it. Might be a but of chronic fatigue or inflammatory disorder, or is it anxiety.
Not use to the words "Love to you Tawney" and thanks for the reminder that you will be with me when i go home again xoxo
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Thankyou for your messages @Former-Member and @PeppiPatty 😙💕
Will catch up another time. Too tired to think at the moment, but wanted to let you both know that I appreciate your messages. 💜
Will catch up another time. Too tired to think at the moment, but wanted to let you both know that I appreciate your messages. 💜
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
That's fine @Former-Member xox
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Hey @Faith-and-Hope, @anybodywithkids?
@Former-Member- how do you do it?
@mods
Help, tx my son tonight just got this reply, now I'm soooo worried. Dont know what to do. What to do guys? Mods? This is the exchange:
ME: Hi #, thinking of you, how's your night? Can I call? Nan got crook again, ambulance Tuesday re collapsed - a chest infection but didn't stay in hospital this time. Will take her to Dr in am. Poor pop just plods along. Done some cleaning - what I can get to. You want a call? Tonight? xox
S1: Hi mum, glad you're there to take care of them. I don't want a call and want to be alone for the foreseeable future. I want to sort through my issue and rebuild my life before distracting myself with other people"
ME: Pease don't shut me out, or get depressed, or refer to me as 'other people' What's happening? I care about you, please don't withdraw. I'm trying to give you space but love you. You don't have 'issues' - you're a wonderful intelligent caring new age gentleman. Please please be kind to yourself xox
-----------
Was that the right thing to say? How can I focus on mum at the dr tomorrow while so worried about my son in Brisbane all alone. Doesn't he know I love him??
THIS HAS REALLY FRIGHTENED / UPSET ME TONIGHT. WHATS THE 'FORSEEABLE FUTURE' MEAN? WAS COMING HERE THE WRONG TJING TO DO? HE'S JUST BROKE UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, LIVING ALONE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, HAS H/O MAJOR DEPRESSION...
I DONT KNOW WHY HE'S SHUTTING ME OUT. OR
HOW FAR TO PUSH OR LET GO.
IS IT A CRY FOR HELP OR HEALTHY -
WHAT CAN I DO?.
WHY DOES EVERYONE PUSH ME AWAY???
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME - I TRY SO HARD?
IF HE DIES... WHAT... I CANT DEAL WITH THIS NOW - O GOD - NOT HIM TOO...I CANT TAKE ANYMORE...
My girl was buried tomorrow - what's wrong with everybody? Do I have to forever walk it alone?
Do i deserve this?
Was I the worst mum ever?
If I die he gets the estate - will that save him?
I'm not buring another child, I'm not!
See what my mind does, I can't do this, helphelp!
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Dearest @Former-Member
This is only my perception of your text.
You have a lot going on and ...we need to work out where you put emotions and where you dont.
I don't think that your son needs to hear about nan or her family. His emotions will be everywhere.
I had to learn this myself.
Can we write his text again?
Dear son,
You are lucky to live in Brisbane who has a good nursing team that can come out and see you. The best in Australia. I think that it's really good that you are able to tell me your needs but ......do you think that we can also think about my needs? I need to see you....I'm feelng very alone....could you think of maybe how you can manage about seeing me?
You don't need to walk anything alone. I wonder why you went to see your fmaily just before this significant date.....your life has had anough mess in it babe. We can all help you get through this babe @Former-Member
In response to: Sleeping too much
Unknown userMember
Re: Sleeping too much
Thanks Peppi,
Guess I came here because i'm an idiot
But think being here has very little to do with what's happening to my son at this time
Maybe life is just spitting me out
Guess I came here because i'm an idiot
But think being here has very little to do with what's happening to my son at this time
Maybe life is just spitting me out
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Breathe @Former-Member ..... breathe .....
I think he is just saying he needs some space ..... and he doesn't know how long for yet .....
I think the date tomorrow iis creating panic for you, with the thought that he is alone and that it's not good for him. My sons would likely want to be alone, at least for a while, with their sense of loss, confusion and pain in your son's situation .... doesn't mean he is rejecting you or doesn't love you .... just doing some soul-searching .....
That's my take on it .... and news from your mum and dad, while intending to share it with him, is an overload in his head-space right now .....
Breathe @Former-Member ..... breathe ....
I think he is just saying he needs some space ..... and he doesn't know how long for yet .....
I think the date tomorrow iis creating panic for you, with the thought that he is alone and that it's not good for him. My sons would likely want to be alone, at least for a while, with their sense of loss, confusion and pain in your son's situation .... doesn't mean he is rejecting you or doesn't love you .... just doing some soul-searching .....
That's my take on it .... and news from your mum and dad, while intending to share it with him, is an overload in his head-space right now .....
Breathe @Former-Member ..... breathe ....
In response to: Sleeping too much
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
life spitting you out .....
Not at all @Former-Member .... you have done the best a loving daughter could do ..... probably what I would have tried to do in your situation, but I think you are stronger and coping better than I would .....
Breathe ..... positive self-talk Hon ..... find the light .....
❤️💕 Hugs ....
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
PeppiPattySenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Dearest @Former-Member
This is my view, when I get to the wrong bit I do. Like I did one this afternoon and now am exhausted with my husband having a tantrum....
So.....how bout you give yourself a break @Former-Member
My son used Brisbane hospitals and wow, they run rings around ot hospitals where I live in Western Australia.
Life isnt spitting you out......When @Faith-and-Hope writes breathe...it's a little like what my FIL ( father in law) says to my husband when my husband has a tantrum. Breathe he says, breathe.
But I need to get to bed now because it's hard here and I want to take care of myself better, I havent today.
My darling @Former-Member
In response to: Re: Sleeping too much
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Sleeping too much
Dear @Former-Member
Dont jump to the worst case scenario with your son. He probably knows enough about the extended family shenanigans.and needs to sort through his own feelings than be drawn into discussion. its difficult and sad for you to manage alone, but keep posting and the forum will try and rise to the challenge.
The mind can play tricks on us. Your son is together, gorgeous and needing space. at his age its probably not so much pushing you away. It seems a mature thing. Dont worry about it as you doing the wrong thing. You sent him an update .. which was good and I am sure he wants to know at that level .. but not too much more .. which is a fair call.
I think.. its not a bad idea to give yourself a break too .. It was the right thing for you to do .. to visit your family and be with them .. and help out .. and just have family time .. whether it was medical stuff or sorting out messes . etc
Think about what you want to take away from the experience .. any memories or moments or symbolic things with your mum and your dad .. and when you are ready head back for the more calm and sane lifestyle at home.
You did good. i.. I am a trier .. and it hurts when we dont feel recognition .. but maybe the family will never be able to give it .. but we can ...YOU DID GOOD ... be kind to you ..
