Sleeping too much

Yes @Former-Member

That is part of a song

"The moon may be high - maybe millions of people walk by - but I only have eyes for you - dear" etc

Now - I hate it that you have a tommy ache - and glad you are having an endoscope - does a double endoscope mean you are having a colonoscopy at the same time - my old GP used to do GA's for people having those - mmm - talking about having a good look at your insides - but if they zed you off for a while I think the worst part is having the drink - the big drink - the x-pack - have they told you anything about that because if they haven't I guess it's just the endoscope

It is really hard to know about people with MI - how much of what happens is part of their illness and part of it is games with a big G - and your Mum too - okay - I must be the expert on enduring the "goitalone" disorder in mothers -

Let them Go it alone - it's their problem - it sounds like a very weird domestic soup there and remember - you need to protect yourself from their behaviour

You had to grow up young as did many of us - and some people don't -

Your poor mother - she believes no one is right and nobody loves her - maybe she's totally isolated herself

You take care of Tawney cause we all love you here

Dec

Hey dear @Former-Member

I said: Sometimes I do, except I do have a partner, but apart from her (and my now demented Mum) I really don't have anyone. Aloneness is different from loneliness. I read recently a common factor in all MI is disconnection from community. The grief of that for me is immense. I kinds don;t like people though.

and you reached out a couple of times in concern, thank YOU.

It was actually just freethought trying to identify with your original post... I am sorry I did not notice that since you wrote that there as been 668 pages of responses and that you had shifted.... It's good isn't it? To see when we are in a bad-state that a year later we are not, there is a definate Lesson there.

- I am hypo at the moment so feel grrreat. 🙂 What I said about lonliness and friendlessness was an observation of my life - that I do feel grief, I have so few friends (but not none). On top of that is today I am seriously worried for my lovely life-partner as she has slid into a depression from crappy work situation and not enough life choices because I do not work and she is our sole breadwinner. 😞

I think that in my depressive times what I said about great grief at lonliness doesn't even ring true really - depression for me is not loneliness it is an absence of self, and absence of selfLove - an absence of life being meaningful, depression is a void, not ot a pile on of feelings. It is a pile on of THOUGHT. A pile on of self-excoriating thoughts that lead to worthlessness, despair - but that feeling/experience is more a very dry desert, than a a wet storm.

My wet storms are not depression they are mind-storms of pain and wobbles and grief amplified. I am not there. I was there when I was dealing with my Mum last year, but have moved on. But not moved better, I realised yesterday after visiting her and being not in a good place in my mind, I was kind but didn;t really CARE - that I still have work to do on that score. Ambivilence, or worse, now that I have identified the terrible relationship we had (have) and that is not a place that allows for healing for me really.
Dammit. More work to be done there I think, but not now-now.

My hypomania at the moment is writing fiction. I have spent a bomb (with partner's permission) on a new writing chair, special software for writers, I am doing a University course on line - and buying books on writing...
I feel like I have COME HOME - but doesn't anyone having a mania experience this- it is it ALWAYS.... THE BEST THING, the ONLY THING... THE BRIGHTEST SHINIEST THING in the WHOLE WORLD when we are manic?

haha.

Anyways, I still have INSIGHT, which is better than I was a few years ago. it does make me (momentarily) teary-sad though - to be in a hypo and have insight - to observe oneself and be clear that "This is not REAL" this is just a HYPO... But to be clear and factual, my writing is GOOD (not brilliant, I am a novice) but it is good and other writers in a writer's community genuinely think so too... (so that is not delusional)

The first line of the short story i am working on is soft Science Fiction...

"The door shut with a slight snick and the in-floor lighting strip flickered on as Xarah Bebrave entered her livingspace at the end of a work-day."

🙂 there are 3000 more words to that story, it is about Emotional Intelligence and grief.

I don't spend a lot of time in the forums when I am hypo - mainly because I feel 'well'. xx

Cheers to all

Hello @MoonGal xx my sister

how are you today ?? it is soo good to see you

Hello @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Decadian, @Shimmer

sending you hugs @Former-Member

Went to the doctor yesterday my reflux is playing up , so the doctor has given me extra meds until I can have an endoscope, have to just wait now

Yesterday afternoon I walked into the bakery and my stomach turned upside down and felt sooo sick

boy I could not get out of there fast enough

today we worked for a lady and she gives us lunch while we are there , what we had for lunch did not agree with my stomach or gallbladder

Hello @Shaz51, Waves to you from a balmly place.

Sorry you have stomach troubles, life reduces to ERK, when the fundamentals - like gall bladder, stomach pain and gut issues happen. Hope it settles down - when I was uber-upset last year I had to take a special stomach medication for a couple of months, but that fixed up thank fully.

I used to like a cup of long steeped Peppermint and Chammomile tea with a touch of lemon juice and honey (I use maples syrup these days) to help settle my tummy down.

Waves.... Moongal.

PS: I used to get a lot of gut problems, but when I knocked off meat, dairy and eggs these things resolved.... (I'm an imperfect vegan).
_________

Oh and @Former-Member - your response came in too...

You said " As I have practised Self-Compassion, the void is filled. Yes its still lonely often but the empty vacume no longer sucks the joy out of life. If it does, I retreat yo my self-compassion cave with God and recharge. Seems to be working."

I am so glad you have found a way to calm and centre. Self-compassion. Beautiful.

Hope it goes well wit the double endoscopy tommorrow. And may all the fraught and frazzled and fearful family find some peace. Hard times. xxx

Hello @Former-Member, @Decadian, @Former-Member

I used to get a lot of gut problems, but when I knocked off meat, dairy and eggs these things resolved.-- Interesting @MoonGal, i am suppose to stop eating these to because of my kidney disease stage 4

Peppermint and Chammomile tea sounds nice @MoonGal

Hello @Bpd_Syd, how are you today ?/

hope you day has been ok xx

❤️💕💐 .... HUGS❣ @Former-Member ....

Posted a QUOTE for you .....

Hi @MoonGal @Decadian @Shaz51 .... 🌷💜

Hi @Bpd_Syd and welcome to the forums .... glad to see you stepping in here.

Have you seen the "Introduce Yourself Here" thread ? Not a "have to" .... just an "if you want to" ....

https://eatingdisorders.saneforums.org/t5/Enjoying-time-with-others/Introduce-yourself-here/td-p/136201