Sleeping too much

Sending you hugs @Former-Member my friend

it is hard when you are away from them xx

My dad died 9 years ago from a massive stroke , and my mums lives in the same town as me

I am not saying this is any better as I am watching my mum lose weight , she is down to 45 kgs now , that doctors don`t know what`s wrong with her

she had a stroke 9 years ago and last year she had blackouts

Spanakopita @TAB .... you were close ..... 😏

Hi @Decadian ....

I guess eating disorders are hard to work out anyway, and the form WH's has morphed into appears to be an atypical amalgamation of what would ordinarily be considered singlulnar forms of e.d.

This quote is from NEDC - National Eating.Disorders Collaboration ....

"Psychological Factors

Research into Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa specifically, has identified a number of personality traits that may be present before, during, and after recovery from an eating disorder.

These include:

perfectionism
obsessive-compulsiveness
neuroticism
negative emotionality
harm avoidance
core low self-esteem
traits associated with avoidant personality disorder

It is important to include that prolonged starvation induces change in cognition, behaviour, and interpersonal characteristics. It can therefore be difficult to discern the psychological causes from the psychological effects of eating disorders. For example, the co-existence of depression and anxiety with eating disorders has raised debate as to whether such conditions precede or are a direct outcome of an eating disorder."

Genetic vulnerability and socio-cultralight influences are also mentioned. The link is here if you are interested -

http://www.nedc.com.au/risk-factors

There seems to be a self-satisfaction and sense of superiority in having the iron will to live the life he is, as opposed to enjoyment of it, but these are also hallmarks of an e.d. mentality. If you asked him he would tell you that he gains immense satisfaction from his regimen ... but it has become like a drug to his system, which is why all the snarky, narky behaviour when things can't be controlled into the place he wants them to be, so that the sacrifices to his regimen that he is currently making to accommodate family time can be considered worthwhile, appropriate, and generous of him ....

There is something punitive in this regimen, but it was much worse in his first year in terms of his exercise ... then a reward mentality set in in regard to his food after he had reached a magic number on the scales and struggled to stop losing weight at a rate of knots .... at that point I think he realised that excessive exercise gave him "currency" for foods that would otherwise have to be forbidden from his regime, such as the spanakopita, so that is linked to his jogging .... ie no jog, no spanakopita. Same with his weight-lifting .... no sesh, no meat meal .... choc-treats are acknowledgement of having achieved the regimen for the day, which is one reason I can't bear with them.

Yes ... it's something completely rule-bound, and as a result, he is trying to work within rules over all of us, and it's frustration for him when he can't identify a rule about how things should be ... or if I and or the kids are in defiance of one of his rules.

Within the grip of this thing, his own beautiful personality is trying to show love towards us and be generous in other ways, such as this holiday, but even then it is happening to an extreme that he seems incapable of recognising.

The kids and I are holding to the good bits as much as possible, and having released him to his regime - ie not challenging it anywhere we don't have to, it's manageable to walk along with him and just enjoy the amazing aspects that are tied up with it all ... such as magestic mountains and ancient archaeology. The food here is amazing too .... something Greece is famous for, of course.

❤️

Hi @Former-Member my girl .... just came through to your earlier post now .... looks like we were typing at the same time. My internet is really slow here today .... grrr .... diving me nuts .... prob better connection if I sit inside where the lounge is (bedroom at the mo) but MIL is there and judgemental about how much I am on iPad ... judgemental in general .... lol ....

So sorry you are feeling low atm, but good about the 2 days work .... go for it .... some of social anxiety can be in all the "what if's" that don't turn out to be a reality.

Loved your son's comments about your house, and life in the country .... you've got him thinking there .... well done ❣

Gonna head up to my park shortly with my kids and drawing stuff in tow .... this place we are staying is the site of the renno work WH flitted off here for in May with MIL .... but it hasn't been done well and he's furious .... is about to have words with the cousin he left in charge who has been avoiding him since we got here .... not a peep of protest from the kids about coming out with me this morning ..... they obviously don't want to be around for this either .... some of the work is going to need to be repeated and I am guessing WH will fly back here to oversee it himself once we are back in Aus ....

Hope you have found something comfortable to wear .... a well-dressed woman is a well-dressed woman no matter what her size .... wear something you like the colour of, and that doesn't pinch .... and add on something else you like - a favourite bag, brooch, necklace, shoes .... I have found a colourful, arty line of clothes and part of my self-comfort is wrapping myself up in colour every day, even if there is a lot of black underlying it .... black tracky pants n T-shirt / singlet top often .... hence the pink walking shoes in the cat photo ....

I'll be thinking of Yu and holding you in the light today .... mwah 💋💕

@Former-Member .... can you video-phone your parents on your mobile ? It would cost a lot less for a brief call than trying to drive there, and that way you at least get to see each other ...

Just a thought ....

❤️💕