Sleeping too much

@Faith-and-HopeI too think WH is going to his mothers place ... a bit much .. twice a day ... sometimes men do not want to grow up and compare wife to mother in unfair competition. They can resent wife for simply being there while they grew up and blame and forget it wasnt wife's fault cos she had to grow up too ... twice a week would be a bit much with all the O/S trips thrown in.

@Former-Member

In the Oratorio I am currently rehearsing are the words:

"Seemeth it but a small thing

that God had separated you

to bring you near to himself"

I am not sure where the words are from biblically??... but they gave me comfort at the last practise.

I have been shunned too ... and it has been hurtful and unfair ... it is best to protect yourself from it and focus on your needs and dreams and desires for this part of life.

I am actually ok .. I had 2 messages from friends on the phone ...

Will do some writing and piano.

Still not up to singing .. too open and heart connected ...but weird rocking and pacing and gesturing behaviour settled yesterday .... thank god the boy was not home ... I should be fine by Thursday.

@Appleblossom

The 2 x day to mother's came about because it was another place he could escape to to C/S once I put my foot down that I wasn't going to accept that behaviour in the house, especially openly in front of the kids as if it were a perfectly normal thing to do .... but mother was perfectly accommodating of it ... so of course he migrated there .... wasn't doing that before the last five years e.d. melt-down.

Part of the whole mess in this moment .... having to ignore / accept it as part of our coping mechanism. Will take more than us to sort him out, so this is just the holding pattern. Without the illness he just wouldn't be in that head-space. He was a different man before this. Hoping to get him back by the end if it. Have to wait and see.

I'm no doormat .... even if it's comin' across that way at the moment .... I can live with that misnomer.

My nearest and dearest know who I am and what strength it takes to grit my teeth and watch this happening, especially with the false confidence MIL is prancing about with adding lashings of salt to the wound ....

All on borrowed time my friend .... all on borrowed time.

C/S Chew spit. I see.

You seem a very capable and loving and resourceful lady. He is lucky to have you and his brood. We are lucky to have you here. @Faith-and-Hope

Maybe it part of the inter-generational access to food issue from WWII ... but played out in different ways to my family. Of course the food isnt the main issue .. but if it is shielding/blocking/sublimating other deeper things ... it may not go away til those things are addressed.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

C/S Chew spit. I see.

😞 ..... 😝

You seem a very capable and loving and resourceful lady. He is lucky to have you and his brood. We are lucky to have you here. @Faith-and-Hope

Thanks @Appleblossom ..... DITTO ❣

Maybe it part of the inter-generational access to food issue from WWII ... but played out in different ways to my family. Of course the food isnt the main issue .. but if it is shielding/blocking/sublimating other deeper things ... it may not go away til those things are addressed.

YEP !!!

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I can relate @TAB ....

Won't go into detail about WH's family .... too much happened across WWII and civil war that took over their country immediately afterwards .... and that was after a genocide in their home territory the generation before .... horrendous .... and the effects felt thru the next three generations ....

Mapping the family mi issues, you can see it ....

Hugs for your Dad .... ❣

WH? I can only guess .. suppose second word is husband?? mi??? any, all acronyms on here?? i did find a few on google lol yeah well mum put up with him somehow, siblings successful in life by usual measures, well older brother went off rails years ago til decided AA was his life lol, but yes damage can be contagious.. even from having immigrant parents, there are phd theses on it apparently, well I only had one re o/s parents. not blaming them. did years ago briefly tho he can be funny in his second childhood haha, still sharp as a tack, body fading tho.. sure Karl would appreciate that lol

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@Faith-and-Hope wrote:

I can relate @TAB ....

Won't go into detail about WH's family .... too much happened across WWII and civil war that took over their country immediately afterwards .... and that was after a genocide in their home territory the generation before .... horrendous .... and the effects felt thru the next three generations ....

Mapping the family mi issues, you can see it ....

Hugs for your Dad .... ❣

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@TAB

WH = Wayward Husband - bit lost at the mo ....

mi = mental illness

mh = mental health

You will come across a few more that are in general use .... ask if you don't know cos it might be confusing someone else too 😏