Sleeping too much

@Decadian

And this is D3 .....

She arrived at school aged 4yo having moved herself into a cross-dialect. We hadn't noticed because cross-dialects are a natural part of our bilingualism .... but amongst many monolingual Australians his is a travesty !! When a standard speech pathology assessment is applied to an English-sounding dialect, the results are terribly skewed and devastating .... we were to find this out .... producing the false diagnosis of "dysfunctional language development".

The results are false because a dialect is a legitimate language in and of itself. The vocabulary being used is English, but the syntax belongs with the other language ... and the child may only recognise some nouns in the other language if they have not yet been exposed to the English names for the same objects ....

In any case, this was used to try to redirect her into educational support schooling for severe disability ... which would have removed her from attending with her siblings, one of whom is intellectually disabled ... and this was entirely inappropriate. While I battled for her case, the remedial teacher was grossly mistreating her, fault-finding over everything she did under the guise of supporting her, furious that her professional judgement was being crossed.

And D3 was "different" .... we were yet to understand that she (we all) are high visual-spatial learners - she was criticised for not adhering to step-by-step learning methods when her point of view is global - she is ambidextrous - so she was being criticised for a delay in hand-dominance - she is (we are) hypermobile - so she was being faulted as clumsy and for being unable to hold the pencil "correctly" - and she has high lateral thinking aptitude - so she can see several possinpbke answers to a question and often couldn't work out which one was the "required" answer ....

And there wer social-cultural differences - she would allow other children to tie her shoe-laces or pick up her dropped books - and be deemed unable to follow social cues - until you realised that she was offering to tie other children's shoes and pick up their dropped books .... she was simply caring and sharing more than the other kids around her ....

It didn't take long, being the sensitive caring soul she is, to fall under the influence of bullies, including the worst sort of "frenemy", and many of the teachers had been told by the remedial teacher that she didn't belong in the school, but as her mother was refusing to remove her, she was not their responsinpbility .... she would eventually fail and be removed on that basis. This culminated in a Yr 2 classroom where her classmates were permitted to use her own oral presentation to mock her .... it took 2.5 years before she would oral read in her new school environment, and then, surprise-surprise, her ability was clearly within normal boundaries !!

It took several more years to stabilise her self confidence, and then both her knees dislocated with rapid height growth affected by her hyper-mobility .... one requiring surgery ....

Then as WH's mental health declined stress disorders set in for D3 - IBS, dysmenorrhoea, glandular fever, and now psychosomatic illness .... the last two years in particukar have been an uphill bbattle, but she cannot contemplate not graduating with her friends.

Unfortunately graduation is incompatible with non-school attendance .... 😞

There is D3 ....

🌷 F&H

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for your well-wishes ... 🌷

I had thought in the moment that I was posting the above WH and D3 stuff on Decadian's Anniversary thread .... I hope you're okay with it landing here .... I know you have caught up with my story on the carers side of the forums .... I can edit them .... please let me know ....

I hope you have a good day ... any set plans, or having a quiet one after all your industry yesterday ?

💗💕

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

It does help to have all this explained - I'll answer D3 first - because I can relate to some of this

My son was highly intelligent - but badly wired so he got things scrambled - even though he only had English to contend with he was literally-minded and did not understand the idioms of English - and English is loaded with them - so I can tell of some of the funny things later - but it made for a child who was often confused linguistically

I think his cross-racial adoption was to be a confusing issue too - so yes - people can say what they like but I understand your daughter's difficulties - and I find it egregious that her classmates were allowed to have their own expression in English expanded at her expense - what this did to her may never be fully healed - and something in me is furious that she had to endure this - I can feel my anger still even though I read this about 10 minutes ago

My son couldn't tie his shoe laces, read an analogue clock or write - his reading was above average - and so his academic assessment was always squewed - what you are saying about D3 resonates - there are so many similarities -

And my daughter is left-handed - and even in the mid 1970s I had trouble with her kindergarten and Prep teachers because she wrote so it was perfectly legible in the mirror - and why I am saying this is that you aren't alone - children who are different get it tough and this is so wrong.

There is nothing at all wrong with being unique - in fact - praise God we are - but even now children who are different are often treated so badly I think society really misses out on what these children could do with their unique abilities

What a hard time D3 had through school - and how unnecessary - and I am appalled

How old is she now - or perhaps - where abouts in school - it maybe she is more intelligent than the majority and struggling upstream against society - and why should this be? I would have hope had I thought about it that school was offering more help than it used to

And I think you live in a remote community - is that you or @Former-Member - maybe both of you

This I have joined this community I have picked up a lot of information regarding other people's lives but there is so much info I forget who has what happening a lot of the time - but I am glad you have told us this about D3 - because I can see she is not just an unwilling pupil but a person who has been thrown to the wolves by an educational system lacking the fine-tuning needed for certain children

And your family must be bi-lingual - how great is that - it would be fantastic for young people to have more than one language

Decadian

Hi again @Faith-and-Hope

And now onto WH - I get it but I don't know - can't know - what it would be like to have a husband with those disorders - I just fumbled through my marriage totally frustrated with Mr Hoarder and Sullen Sleep Apnoea.

That was bad enough - but for someone to endanger their health with so much extreme behaviour would be a nightmare thank God I have not had to encounter. And it seems from this and other posts that the whole familty has to tip-toe around this disorder - and the only place you can be together as a family is to go away together - I am sure you wrote that but I might be wrong

I had a girlfriend when I was first married - and she had OCD - something I had no knowledge of at this stage of my life - in fact - I often wonder how it was I was so ignorant when in reality I was already well educated. I was often intrigued and confused at my friend's excessive cleaning and measuring and wiping everything - to the point where she miscarried well into a pregancy - and the thought of what you and your family are dealing with really boggles my mind

And I know that people cannot intervene usefully when a person is suffering like this - like you and your family is - and I know your WH is driven - but must be suffering too

It's good to know these things about each other and I am glad you have put this up - I understand more now - and know I could not endure what you are living through - I had to get out - and how I admire your staying because you know he is not capable of understanding what this is doing to everyone else's life

You certainly have your hands full - and not just because you have several children

Decadian

Good thing you've got us @Former-Member ... huh ??❣ 😃

Hi @Former-Member

I think it would be excellent for people who are posting from complex lives to have a profile so the rest of us could read and know straight away if they are on the right track with the right person when relating their stories and issues

We all seem to have several links with each other - bereaved parents, WH issues, abuse as children, children with different disabilities, our own dis-ease in society whatever our self-dx might be - etc

And also - there are young people who have similar patterns within their unique situation - and I often wonder how young people cope in this modern environment

And yes @Faith-and-Hope - I have picked up bits and pieces of your complicated life - but not everything - and I am glad I am not the only person who can feel a little lost at times when other people have similar problems to my own - even now that the worst times of my life are in the past - they still resonate into the present. I also feel that I have a lot to offer from my experience and it makes my past worthwhile enduring knowing other people read what I write and gain some insight into their own situation

And today - I still have some backwashit from the headache I had yesterday - I feel that if I lay on the bed for a moment I would sleep for hours and that might be a good idea - after a migraine on Monday and a bad headache yesterday I feel exhausted - and I have reached the stage I need a new computer

And this is a round-about way of saying - yes - a profile would be a good idea

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member

Thank you for your concern ....as long as we keep WH pacified with as little disturbance to his regimen as possible, he is nice .... even if he gets a bit overwhelmed and gets a bit anstey, that's manageable too.

It's when we've got a psychosis of some sort happening that it's very difficult, but those have been fewer and further between since we collectively decided to just disengage and let him go for now, while there is nothing we can do for him anyway.

Having him stressed and driven within our environment is another thing .... glad I had another 36 hours on that ... feeling like I am back in coping mode now.

D3 is not good today, but we're making our way through that at the moment .... taking her to school to see the counsellor for a little while now ....

@Decadian - it's amazing the amount of cross-over of experience there is between the stories on the forum here ... but also the amount of empathy that evokes, whether the stories are familiar or completely foreign .... and yes ... it shows different coping strengths and forms of courage.