Sleeping too much

Hi @Hamburger I'm okay. Thankyou

I just got off phone with my brothers first MIL. Will be on holiday for week going up to visit them .. diplomatic mission ...

In a way it is a story about the troubles that fathers have getting access to their kids.

My brother, mum & I would travel up there and see them in the park ... it was ok ... for the few times I went to keep him compnay but no way for a dad to be treated ... and in the end my brother caved in.

After he died, I was door knocked and bought a time share up there cos it was on the land where I had actually gone walking with my brother ... we did 3 generations visits ... and now I can visit them "in style" cos the middle girl is getting married ... but its not how it should have turned out. My brother could have made a great dad.

All the things that they picked on my brother about that have come through in his son .. who is 30 ... are now acceptable becasue they "love" him so much ...

I cant get mad about it though ... that just hurts me and my boy the most ... it is what it is ...

I have to just suck it up .. be my version of diplomatic & direct.

The actual MIL did do her best though .. so I respect that ... and kept in touch .. it was her husband who was judgemental and uber-conservative country. He did the most damage to my brother who had no father ...

Anyway .. just my take on some of the men, community and family stuff.

After I hung up I thought S**T I better bring up prezzies for the littlies ... my brother didnt do hands on parenting ... but he would have been granddaddy before me.... well ... there I go again .. gender confooosed ... you guys all know what I mean

Gee, this is a great example of gender stuff isnt it.

It's a sad story about your Brother, @Appleblossom. What a nasty FIL.

I feel like laughing on the great example of the family being kept together (integrity) with his MIL. What I mean is that even though the Father in law is an aggressive judgemental creep, the mother in law has always done the right thing and stayed in touch with your brother's side of the family.

It reminds me of some things that @Louise and I are have been writing about. @Louise questions and focuses on doing the best in paenting she can. She is questioning whether her parenting is good enough with her son who is 19 years old. She is focused and in what she has written, she has'nt made many messups !! Unlike your borther's Fahter in Law in that he didnt have a Dad to lean on,

Shame on that Father in Law of your brothers. Hope you have a great time @Appleblossom

PPx

Thanks @PeppiPatty Great to see you, the FIL died a while ago .. but lived a full life with family around him... glad I dont have to see him.

I also tell the story because I am sad about the recent fathers who are out there struggling to contact their kids. I read some recent posts about it on the forum.

It is also important because the issues with my brother .. were about misunderstandings and different ways of expressing love and care and parenting... but then it became all about his mental illness .. and our hopeless family...

A week away .. on Friday and I leave my son in charge of the cats and the home front. It will be my 2nd week holiday .. yay!

I just so know that mental illness isnt about some people being ok and others not ... and I hope people get some hope and motivation to work through their problems ... rather than believe that they cant do it.

Nite Nite

Ypu bring up a good piont @Appleblossom

I wonder what @Former-Member @TAB (especially @TAB ) @utopia @Former-Member @Mazarita @lisajane @Jaques

Say about this:

Last week, my friend and nieghbour was visiting her family for 2 weeks. She is one of the most abused women I have ever met. She struggles with Bi polar and cannot get on the Disability but she really is a survivor and a positive thinker.

2 years ago, her loveable brother passed away. At the time, the family didnt contact her and she was not even told about the funeral. She and I couldnt find it in the papers and so she didnt go. 2 years have passed and she met up with her younger brother's wife who told her that when the older brother passed away, his wife said that he really hated both his sister (my neighbour and friend) and his brother (her husband) so there was nothing coming to them and she offered my friend's brother some old photos.

My friend just looked at her and said with huge compassion. You know......... my big brother didnt know what hate meant. His wife made all that up. This was'nt what he would say.

her sister in law went really quiet and just looked at my neighbour and friend. I dont think that they passed any more words between them.

I was SO proud of my friend. Even after there was not even a phone call ....so much forgiveness was given.....

Thanks @Former-Member

I have had enough of this sinus infection - I saw my doctor yesterday and he told me it is sinusitis - and I have this nasty sore in my nose - I looked it up on the internet - yes - those sores looked just like mind and they are painful make it hard to breathe - and I am exhaused from blowing my nose and breathing - and my ribs ache

I have been told to have my repeat filled with my antibiotics - and I am doing all the home cures - and not much else -

I read all your posts and had something to say - but at 3.30am I have a mind like a sieve - just enough hope here to wish you more ups than downs - may your good days be more frequent

Thanks for your thoughts - it means so much that people here care that I am not well

Decadian

Hi @Appleblossom

My brother has been treated shabbily by his ex and her family re his kids - blatantly defying court orders, lying about him, being sooo manipulative and deceitful to play "keepie-off" with his kids. She moved to a different state, disappeared off the grid, cited mi issues as a result of injury made him "dangerous" .... the whole bit ....

She has cost him sooo much money in lawyers fees, travel and accommodation costs, paid supervisors for visits, etc ....

Apparently the son has been diagnosed aspie, and doesn't answer his phone, but the daughter came and found her dad again in her mid-teens.

She keeps phone contact around her mother (lives with her still) and catches up with my brother and his new wife semi-regularly. She was old enough to remember how caring and gentle he was, and that's what she found when she reconnected, but the list years still cause so much grief and pain ...

Still, he was one of the luckier ones. And his new wife has mi issues ....and she is gorgeous ❣

My niece is now revelling in the fact that she has "two mums" .... 😏