Sleeping too much

Oh @Former-Member. I want to cry for you too. This sounds really, really hard for you. It would be hard for anyone. I think you need lots of self care for now. Re the support friends I don't know what to suggest. Re your son, my gut is telling me you have to try just to be there for him even though he is not obviously there for you right now. I can't imagine how difficult this would be in real life though. I don't really know what is best but my heart goes out to you. Sending loads of hugs and best wishes.💜💜💜💐💐💐

Oh @Former-Member, I have just found this post .... I feel so much for you, and it does seem so unfair ....

If I can put some of my perspective on it for you, if I may .... ?

From memory, I think your son is 20-something ? 20-somethings think the world revolves around them. Everything that happens around them gets filtered through the "me, myself, and I" filter. That's why my D1 blew up at me on Sunday morning, and I didn't go to church cos I was feeling gutted, and couldn't just smile at people around me, or engage in the service as if there was nothing wrong, and it has taken at least a couple of days to pull the darts back out of my heart ....

And she's a good one !! Even though your son lives so far away, and you don't see much of him, it actually sounds like he's a good one too .... he's just living the Generation Y way ....

Generation Y kids (born 1981 - 1994) appear pre-programmed for instant gratification. They tend to be short tempered, over-fill their time (making them even more short-tempered when everything they want doesn't fit together perfectly as programmed), hard-wired for technology and technology addicted, feel entitled to have their cake and eat it too ....

Your son is trying to multi-task, that's why he is calling you in the middle of doing dishes and such .... he's a busy, busy, busy boy, trying to fit too much life into each day.

He is trying to have his cake and eat it too - making his graduation weekend about his family (you), his partner's family (which is larger), his friends (of which there are likely to be many), and his partner might be trying to find her onpwn 1:1 with him to mark the occasion within the same weekend .... too much to put together .... and when one of the puzzle pieces they have carefully arranged tries to jump out of its assigned place (you), they blow up because they don't have any contingency or Plan B.

Baby Gen-Y dragons .....

And they are often over-extended financially too, cos they've gotta have it all .... the latest and greatest everything ... and burn their credit to "afford" it all ....

If I am correct, then perhaps you can see that he is not intending it personally at all .... it's just that he can't see you very well beyond all the "me, me, me" that clouds his view, and being of the same generation, his partner, although very nice at the core, may be behaviourally much the same .... and as a result, their household may be much hissier in nature than they would want anyone else to know.

I have got the benefit of having several of these creatures .... when one is hissing and blowing up, I can usually get some joy out of another one .... when they're all hissing and blowing up at the same time .... well .... it's time to pack up and go out for the day ....

Sometimes I go out to pick up some milk and come home four hours later .... cos once I have left the house I don't want to go back to more of what you just got on your end of the phone ....

If you were with him all the time you would see the ebb and flow of everything that's going on in his life better than you can at that sort of distance .... so @Former-Member is right .... all you can do is love him .... send a special card that he can read in all of half a minute and then his partner can leave on the kitchen bench for a week or two .... text him the odd photo of Claypan doing something cute .... ring just to say hi sometimes but don't stay long on the phone .... if they have kids eventually, send lots of grandma stuff. Just be a presence in his life.

Hope this helps .... feel for you anyway .... big hugs .....

❤️💗💜

@Former-Member

Can you do the mindfulness exercise @Former-Member ?

Focus your attention on things in the room around you ?

Hey @Former-Member

How are you doing ?

Do you need to talk to somebody tonight. ?

Thanks for posting again @Former-Member. I was worried about you ...

Yes, caught your post on the other thread. Thanks for tagging me in .... I posted there too, repeating what you said, pretty much ...

Dozing off a bit now. Need to sleep cos I have an appointment tomorrow I need my head facing forward for ... 😏

Be well .... 🌷💕