Sleeping too much

Hi @Former-Member @Decadian and anyone else around.

I'm back ... 😏

Have worked my answers into your post below @Former-Member ...

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@TAWNEY wrote:

@Faith-and-Hope, hows ya dad? When's he expected home? Are you expecting he'll be a good house guest? Extra work for you I guess. And no more hospital breaks. Love hearing what you are up to & how you cope. Keep shining 🌞

F&H - Dad had a bit of chest pain, a temp, and low oxygen yesterday .... cos he had a life-threatening bout of pneumonia with his last knee surgery a couple of years ago, I have been concerned, but it was too soon to be panicking at all. They sent him for xrays yesterday, haven't commented further, temp is down this morning, so he's still due home on Monday, and he will be mobile with a walking frame. He's a great house guest, so minimal extra work and nice company. He doesn't live close, so this is a rare bubble of opportunity for us. WH and S2 flew off interstate this morning, and D1 and D3 are going over for the week on Monday, so it will only be us and D2 here at home, hopefully relaxed and easy, comparitively.

Hope its ok to just randomly post like this. I find it so hard to pick up on other threads & catch up where everyone's at, wade through it all. Need tp take notes or something. Its not that I'm not interested at all but i do struggle with this mode communication being 'real' or something. Wouldn't take much for you all to just disappear in the same moment. But for now i do appreciate you.

F&H - I think most of us just pop our heads in on the different threads we relate to @Former-Member. If you're spending a lot of time on one thread you will get to know the others who hang out there a bit better, otherwise it's okay to just listen along, and maybe ask a question or two to get your bearings .... and we all make mistakes, like I did the other day, thinking it was your ex bringing six members of in-law family to your son's graduation, when it was his partner's family you were talking about ....

Today i need to vote of cause. Takes a lot out of me, the crowds, social anxiety & all, so i go late when the crowd dies down. Its a trigger too being at the school - so many memories. Until then i'll try tidy up a while (if my back holds out after yesterday), I'll feed the birds, doggy & myself. Crochet when i sit etc.

F&H - Wishing you courage to step along to voting today @Former-Member. I hope your back is feeling a bit better today, and thanks for the reminder .... I'm on duty to feed our dog while WH is away.

Saturday i try to make my cleansing day, or 'Personal Hygiene Day' day i guess, where i tend to the body - wash the hair, shave the legs, pluck eyebrows, cut nails & scrub & moisturize the skin etc.etc. Basic Self care. Probably sounds mundane to high functioning people but with limitations & so much internal distractions, if i don't pick a day for these things they sadly get forgotten. Routine is good. Discipline guess.

F&H - Sounds like your "Personal Hygiene Day" is more comprehensive than any I usually have .... my legs are positively scary with overgrowth in Winter .... but I might get better at that when I end up with more time to myself. It's a good idea ....

Well,, best shake a leg and get started. Check in shortly over a cuppa 🌿🌷💕

F&H - ready for that cuppa when you are ..... 😊 WH had a melt-down on the way to the airport this morning - probably cos he couldn't find his favourite jeans - but also cos he can't fit life in around his rigid daily regimen and feels entitled to use us as staff, and gets nasty when we don't mind-read his requirements .... par for the course with his illness at the moment - so I am still reeling from his nasty-pasty attitude and carry-on this morning. Not nice. Tea sounds good !!

🌷🌸

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Decadian

have just checked in to say hi too. Read and liked a few posts this morning but was at footy, too hard to reply. I hope your day has gone ok. hoping @Former-Member is feeling human and good after a spruce up. 😊It took me an hour to get through my hair today which was almost in dreads 😳Luckily I have heaps to spare as I lost a lot.

Sorry to hear @Faith-and-Hope had a difficult morning with WH. I'm glad you'll have some time to chill. Hoping your father is on the path to recovery now. Sounds like you've had a stressful time.

Managed to vote, it was a monster @Decadian. I thought I had it sorted in my head until I got in there and it was different to what I was expecting. No dramas in end. My friend said some people lined up for 2 hours at her local booth. I managed 5 min so happy about that. 👍

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Decadian

@Former-Memberyour self care day sounds like a really good idea. Although it is really hard to shave my legs when it's so damn cold!!!

@Faith-and-Hope I hope you dad recovers well. It is nice to see that you will have some time to yourself.

Glad the voting is done and out of the way - now we wait to see who wins. Will it matter???

Hi @Former-Member - I'm glad you found you had a head in all that hair -

I used to have a long pony tail - and when I tore the tendons in my right shoulder I had to have it cut - I sat and stared and nearly cried at all that natural hair on the floor and know I should have got onto the anti-cancer council - there was enough there for a good wig - long enough too

I am glad I got out to vote and had the chance to get taken in early - of course - one of the reasons for the delay was the paper for the Senate - people were really battling with it - my right shoulder needs joint replacement surgery and in that little booth there was not enough room -

I might as well have just folded it and place it in the box - to me the whole issue has been a classic waste of time - oh well - we will have another one in due course

btw - what does WH stand for - I think it means Husband and/orWife - I mean - people can live how they choose now

I'm still wondering about the choices on the Senate Paper - I have never read those before - this was an education in itself

Enough carry on

Decadian

Hi @Decadian

"WH" is Wayward Husband .... or Wonky Husband .... it amounts to the same thing ....

He has an undiagnosed eating disorder, and an eating disorder is a mental illness at its core ... and having gone five years now in denial, it is affecting him very badly on many levels, including a change in personality and emotional deregulation ... we have had moments of psychosis too regarding some conversations and behaviours, but I would class these as relatively mild.

I did stop him from trying to put five of us into a car with seating and internal space for only four of us one night, go smacked that he, formally so safety conscious, could actually have been serious about it ... but he was ... even though we physically would not have fitted in ... like those 1960s competitions about how many people up you could squash into a mini minor car, or a phone booth ....

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Ah - yes - Wonky Husband - I had one of those - so glad when we finally separated after living in the same house but having completely different lives - it was sooooooo frustrating

I am thinking for a W for my ex - he was lazy and morose - I had a comment from my son-in-law some time back - he's still lazy - omstars - Withdrawn Husband - he was not engaged with life - and what a sad way to live

I have celebrated my 25th Anniversary - in 2014 - very quiet - just me and the cat - how wonderful it is not sharing a house with a man who was so introverted he would hid in the loo reading for hours and that was so peaceful and we had two loos - I would leave him alone

Ugh - I am so glad I have found people with another version of WH - I am so glad I asked abiut WH

Of course - I turned into a HW- Horrible Wife - I was a horrible person - but until my daughter left home I was staying there to give her a home - I held onto my share of the house - and I am glad I did that - and she wanted that house

But as isolating as it can sometimes get - I really like living here alone - I have 3.5 rooms that can be exactly as I like them - and one loo - mine

Decadian [releived I am not the only one with a WH]

Ah - this is cool - this site saves messages - I had written this one to you and when I posted it - I was told I was not on-line - how did that happen - I was in Flight Mode :S

I'm sorry your WH has/had an eating disorder - that would be tough - was it starving or over-eating or bad eating - whichever - I would not like it at all

Dec

It's developed into a combination of different things @Decadian. It morphed from an over-eating disorder where he was at risk for his life - essentially on life-preserving medications - to a new-found "healthy" lifestyle that saw him plummeting the other way and coming off all meds as a result.

At it's core he has a daily regimen that basically takes all day, like a full-time job, but it involves excessive exercise and a rigid eating pattern that is outside our family dynamic, but impacts it at every turn. And he swings between being emotionally absent, which is most of the time now, and being emotionally abusive, which happens at random intervals.

But I think he has also recognised that his regimen is not compatible with family life, and as a way of coping with that, he has established a couple of work projects (self-employed) interstate and overseas, and takes himself off to those with a high level of frequency this last 12 months or so ... sometimes taking one or more of the kids with him if they are free, so this has created a form of respite for us all.

Sometimes we all travel together, and this gives us the strongest semblance of a family life we can probably achieve, because it takes out the need for regular housekeeping and schooling commitments.

Where we travel to also supports the food choices within his regimen, in that most of it is readily available in restaurants of his background culture, so we eat out a lot, and this creates a socialisation we don't have at home.

He is also happier in these other enviro pimento, which reduces the stress on all of us, and reduces the episodes of emotional abuse.

Hi @Former-Member

Sounds like it would benefit you to move somewhere less isolated, and with a warmer, more inclusive community ... may I suggest baby-steps, and you just start looking around at where you might like to live ... see what comes of it ? At least get the seed planted ....

My WH is in the grip of an mi in the form of an intense and complex eating disorder - baby dragons have got nothing on him .... deep in denial .... thinks he's super-human .... his daily regimen is everything to him .... his personality and values have changed .... and it really, really sucks. It's doing a train-wreck thing in our lives, but the kids and I are persevering, just tying to "walk him home" to getting diagnosis and treatment .... 🌵

We have our rough days, but it's manageable now most of the time. Scary though. It is possibly in a life-threatening state, but we can't know until he's diagnosed. Have to stick my head in the sand a bit with that, cos all support services say that we have done all we can ....

I hope your back is feeling better soon. Just keep walking when you can, and eating healthy soup .... the kg can drop off in drives and drabs if you just kept at it .... I'm on that page with you .... got about 25kg to lose myself.

🌸💗💕