Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Ain't that the truth @Determined.

I feel as if I'm alive but not living at all @Determined

Wondering if there's more to it than this?

Well at least mum is doing ok now @soul so 2 of the siblings are around a lot. (1 at home budging on free rent) and thinks she is the saviour loo,ing after mum. Mum woild do a lot better without her. 1 other sibling that dont see much mostly because he likes the bludger less than me. I put up with it (the bludger) as I dont want the children missing out on time with gran because I cant get along with the their aunt.

Re my darling, certinally not what I anticipated when I was young and in love.

Lots of messy family dynamics with you @Determined. I have alienated myself from that pretty much and from everyone now. Only this one girlfriend knows what I have been through. Lived overseas for the past couple of years and have only recently returned for good but haven't connected with friends. Don't want to answer any questions and my self confidence is shot.

Makes you long for those simpler times doesn't it and wonder if life will be good again one day @Determined

I can relate to that @soul I at least have young children to focus on, without them to keep me moving forward not sure how I would manage.

Your kids give you a reason for persevering. Are they affected by all this? I guess they may not know any different situation. Does it concern you that their life may be messed up?

Your kids must give you a lot of joy @Determined. Mine are grown up now. - semi independent.

Realy trust that you can find some peace and joy @soul and live not survive.

I am sure things will improve for our family, we are certinally in a better place than we have been previously, I am thankful that we are still together as a family, as hard it is, because there were influences that tried very hard to tear us apart.

I love my wife, I may often resent our situation but while noy always easy to say I do love my wife.

You sound like you're a good decent person @Determined. Thanks for being empathetic to my situation. I hope things will get better for you. You deserve good things in your life. And so do your kids and your wife.

I guess I'll try to get some sleep. Good to have been chatting with you. Nice to know we're not alone sometimes.