Self Harm

Hey @outlander @Molliex @BlueBay @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie @Bunniekins @Appleblossom and anyone else reading along.

Just an update on how I am going. I have managed to hold of on SH in the evening at bedtime. I'm actually feeling less anxiety about it. I really felt good having some control. It's now 3am in the morning and I did use SH just now. But I am focusing on the positive side that I managed to hold of on SH in the evening.

I have a busy day today I have to get up and do some housework then I need to go shopping to pick up some kids t-shirts for a tie dye night I'm running. I need to be back by 12pm to go to lunch with Mr Angels. Then in the afternoon I am having 3 friends over for them to practice tie dyeing. I'm really nervous about people coming over. As I never invite people into my home. I'm just so anxious about being judged. I'm hoping I can avoid SH tomorrow with all the distractions. I hope the urges go away.

I hope you all are having a good day today, thanks for listening to my rants. 💕💕

@Angels333 Today sounds like a busy day, with some fun and challenges working together. I understand to well not having people over due to anxiety and judgment. You are giving it a go, good on you for that.

I hope the SH urges go , it’s a battle. Thinking of you @Angels333 knowing you are doing the best you can, no one can expect more from you than that. 💜💕💜🌻🌻🌻☕️☕️☕️

Proud of you @Angels333. I'll be thinking of you. You're stronger than you know 🌻🌻🌻

@Angels333 Hey Angels333 hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. Rant away the pea rants too lol :). I wanted to wish you luck with your tie dyeing afternoon (wish I was there). Enjoy your lunch with Mr Angels :). Looking forward to hearing about how it all goes and above all have some fun today. Love peaxxx

Thinking if you today @Angels333

take care xxx

Doing Tie dye sounds great @Angels333

Little spaces without SH are the place to focus.

I am learning to view and consider old SI methods with calm, a sad calm, but trying to respect my active positive choices.

Battling on myself, but choosing life and forgiving myself for mistakes. I filled up car with petrol but forgot wallet, said I would come back next day to pay and forgot, lucky they held form for a 2nd day and I remembered. I really have a lot on my mind, but it feels so silly amd panicky.

Keep taking care of business.

Hey @Appleblossom @BlueBay @MDT @Molliex @Molliex @Maggie @Shaz51 thanks so much for your responses I read them all and they really help me through. Sorry I haven't been able to reply individually

Today was great! I achieved so much this morning to prepare for visitors I did so much cleaning and then mindful setting up for tie dye.

Visitors came and went and it was a real success. I enjoyed a nice coffee after they went, I was exhausted.

The good news is I went the whole day without any SH and I think that helped with my confidence.

Unfortunately tonight I used SH and I hurt myself quite badly, bringing back all the feelings of shame and despair.

I just have to ride it out and hope I can have more days of no SH, I'm feeling really desperate atm

Hey @Angels333,

I can hear it was really significant and made you feel great going the whole of today without using self-harm. I felt concerned when you say you hurt yourself quite badly tonight. Do you need medical attention at all? There is the national home doctor service on 13SICK if you do.

It sounds like it was a big achievement today. I'm sorry you're experiencing those feelings of shame and despair again tonight. I hope some of what enabled you to get through today can help you tonight.

Take care,

Tortoiseshell